Pirates in Paradise 2008 - Key West, Fl
Extra Page: Walk the Plank Contest
(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
The walk the plank has been an annual Pirates in Paradise tradition since
it was first done. (No, I don't really know when that was.) Last year it
took place at the dock near the fort entrance; this year it was performed somewhere in town. (Somewhere
I did not go.)
I didn't attend the contest because I was basically too lazy to wander to somewhere in town when there was so much good discussion and curious things going on at the encampment. So you could argue that I couldn't possibly have anything to report on here. You would be wrong. I saw it last year and heard about it and I can make up stuff as well as anyone.
The event is pretty self-explanatory. You have to walk the plank. Of course, point are awarded for style and that is the interesting part. It still pretty well results in what you see at left. This year some prat from the Discovery Channel was involved in all of this. He's trying to sell a show on entering weird contests to them. So he's was around as well.
(Photo: Callahans)
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(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
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(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
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(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
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Above is Animal from the Pirates of the Coast. I don't know what his spiel was, but he did a nice
backward fall off the boat. Below we have the sequence where Dangerous from the Pirates of the
Coast goes into the drink with his drum. Props were a big facet of the
competition. Diosa from his crew told me that the only thing dangerous about
Dangerous was his drumming.
(Photo: Callahans)
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(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
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(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
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(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
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(Photo: Callahan)
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Above we have the saga of the prat from the Discovery Channel. He is trying to win so that he can do some TV show. First he threatened to shoot himself, which I don't see how that can be even remotely effective. Then he rips his parrot in half, which is just odd. Then he nonchalantly goes over the side. (Good riddance, prat.)
Below we have Captain Spike of the Bone Island Buccaneers dunking. It turns out that Spike was "too nice" to his crew, so they manacled him to a ball and chain to be walked off the plank. Spike appeared to be confused about directions on the plank, so he came back and beseeched the audience to listen to his proof that he was mean and vicious. As proof, he pulled a severed plastic pirate head from his pocket. You'll notice he wound up in the water.
(Photo: Callahans)
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(Photo: Callahan)
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(Photo: Callahan)
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(Photo: Callahan)
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We now come to M.A. d'Dogge's part. Being one of the undisputed winners of last year's competition, he felt somewhat pressured to come up with a good bit. (He had to defeat the prat after all.) As you'll see above far left, he seemed quite confident in his plan. He fished around in his satchel (I think that's a Lily Alexander original for those of you keeping track) and pulled out something. I'll let him explain the rest:
"i plead guilty..then pulled out my
pardons....from the Emperor of Canaidia,...Pope of Japan...Queen Latifa of
America....King Raul of England...Viceroy of Antartica...Elvis the
King....Mickeal Jackson the King of Pop....and lastly my uncle Vinney of
Detroit....
not taking any of those pardons...i to pulled me treasure map....and told
them to write down my last words for my tombstone....the final words of
Methusala Aluitious d'Dogge....the final epitapht of the M.A.d'Dogge...my
final words are.....(the map flys outta me hand and into the drynk)....'oh
crap!!!'.....as i go diving for it!!!!"
(Photo: Callahan)
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(Photo: Callahan)
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(Photo: Callahan)
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