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Searle's Sack of St. Augustine, FL, March 2010
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) |
Ivan Henry)
I had learned at PiP that the Mooseworths... Moosesworth?...er,
Ivan Henry and Kelly liked to go out in the afternoon for libation
and they were planning an excursion into St. Augustine - a five or
ten minute drive from the park. They lived near St. Augustine at
some point and had favorite haunts which they invited me to visit
with them. Never having seen St. Augustine and always up a potential
adventure, I agreed. They also invited Michael and Kate Bagley. I
decided to invite Shay of the Keys, mustache and all. I warned her,
"You'll be the guest of a guest, so it's a tenuous position, but it
should be fun." Shay was game – she's cool like that.
Left: Ivan Henry and Kelly Elizabeth at the Taberna (Spanish for 'TGI Fridays'.)
It turned out that Kate Bagley had gone into town with Salty to buy something or other, so Michael Bagley, Mooseworth, Kelly, Shay and I all piled into his little boxy vehicle, which may have been a Cube or whatever the little van that looks like they forgot to remove it from the shipping crate is called. It was quite roomy and accommodating for the three of us in the back seat, so I'll stop making fun of it. On the way, we saw things, wonderful to tell. We saw a... a rusty old hand cannon...Charlie Sheen in a tricorn... and a pig...a pig barbecue on a sidewalk, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. (You'll have to dig deep for that joke, readers. (And it's only going to get worse from here...))
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) |
(Photo: Mission) Arriving in a downtown parking lot, Kelly went to pay and wound up in a discussion with a girl carrying a guitar. She told Kelly that she wrote historical songs. (I assume she meant she wrote songs about historical things because I don't think it's possible to talk to someone who writes historical songs without a Delorean and a Mr. Coffee (The little thing that Doc put the banana peel and beer into at the end of Back to...oh, never mind.) The girl with the guitar must have been very interested in us and our garb because she and Kelly spent a long time talking while the rest of us were were standing around in the parking lot waiting. The musician promised to come over to the campsite and sing some of her songs for the group later. (I don't want to give anything away here, but she never showed up to entertain us. I thought it was a real shame because I would have liked to have heard some of her music, just to see what it was all about)
Right: Kelly and the musician. I tried to get that car to move out of the way so I could get the shot, but it wouldn't budge. (Ever notice some pics look fine while taking them, but awful when you see the result?)
Michael Bagley suggested we go to the historic tavern called the Taberna del Gallo (which is Spanish for 'Chili's'.) It was a nice historic-oriented site with a 1730s atmosphere, so off we went. Everything inside was most periodish. Apparently they had no electricity, although I didn't get a good look at the cash register. The barmaid was friendly, offering us samples of her wares. In the sampling process, Shay found a new favorite beverage: Woodchuck Cider, Apple flavor. She was quite taken with it. Having long been a fan of the stuff, our group proceeded to have a few glasses. We were the center of attention. (We were seated by the window, so people kept coming in and asking if they could take photos of us. I told one group they could only take the picture if I could take one of them. And they let me! People who play tourists are so nice.)
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) |
(Photo: Mission)
Kelly and Ivan Henry "Mooseworth" at the Mill Top.
(He is talking in every pic taken.)
(Photo: Mission)
Your author and the Fort. (That brown wall you
can barely see is the fort.)
From there, we went to the bar that Ivan and Kelly had originally set out
for - the Mill Top
Tavern. This turned out to be in the upstairs of a building with a paddle
wheel, I believe. (I had had several ciders at this point.) The first thing
I spotted from the veranda was the Spanish fort and I stupidly asked "What
is that?" which everyone else seemed to find hilariously funny. We ordered
nachos and a round of beers and continued our discussion.
(Photo: Mission)
It happens that Kelly Elizabeth is from Flint, Michigan, which is about
two hours from where I live. She had left when she was 17 and was quite
happy to have done so. I can't say I blame her as Flint is many things,
but charming is not really one of them. (If you're from the Flint Chamber
of Commerce and you're reading this – I would like to note that I do accept
bribes to change the content of my text.) She spotted Ivan Henry in a bar
in Key West, standing next to what she called "a pretty boy." Kelly decided
Ivan was for her, so she went up to him and asked him something like "Are
you two (Mooseworth and the pretty boy) together?" I guess being this was
just the right pick-up line for our heroine because it led to nine years
of wedded bliss and odd hobbies.
Right: Your author and Kelly Elizabeth. (Is that the silliest grin you have ever seen or what?)
By this point, things were becoming pleasantly fuzzy, which is about where I generally like to keep them unless I am at PiP on a Sunday night. The waitress came around offering another round, but Michael and I begged off. She returned shortly with a full round, which Mooseworth had requested on the sly. (Shay, who had apparently already seen this coming, declared herself a lightweight upon arrival, and was wisely drinking water.) While I knew it was a bad idea, the atmosphere was pleasant, the company enjoyable and the drink good, so I plunged ahead.
(Photo: Michelle Murillo)
Diosa and Mr. Chin. (Seriously, that's his name!) Mr. Chin seems
to have
life pretty good if you ask me...
On the walk back to the car, I noticed that a lot of people on the streets
had dogs on leashes. This seemed to be a theme for the weekend because
several people back at the camp also had dogs. Being drunk (and thus stupid),
every time we came across a dog on a leash, I asked someone in our group "Do
we know this one?" Yeah, I don't really get it either, and I was the one who
came up with it. I'd blame it entirely on drunkeness except I started doing
the same thing later when I was sober. Go fig.
This leads us to yet another hopelessly irrelevant photo aside featuring some of the multi-various dogs that your ship's surgeon spotted throughout the weekend. It establishes scene...or something.
 (Photo: Mission) Doug and Sgt. Jeff's dog. He's going to break into "If I Were a Rich Man." (Doug, that is.) |
 (Photo: Mission) The scared Chihuahua in your author's arms. (The Chihuahua e is important, appearing several times in this narrative.) |
 (Photo: Mission) THE Wench's dog, complete with saddlebags, and trainer, Lob. He is a really nice dog.< |
(Photo: Mission)
During the walk back, Ivan Henry aka Mooseworth found a pink winter hat
on the street which he cleverly named "Random Street Hat" or RSH.
Naturally I immediately put it on. I cannot resist a silly hat in even
my most sober pirate reenacting moments, which this was not. We even
offered it to other people to try. I only know this because of
the picture you see at right of the girl in the chocolate/fudge shop
wearing it. (I do recall getting a sudden urge for candy, so we stopped
in there and got a bear claw or something like that.) The RSH was
clearly a treasure to be kept, so we brought it back to the site with
us.
Right:The sweets shop worker gives in to the drunken surgeon and tries the silly RSH.
(Photo: Mission)
We stopped at a liquor store to stock up. (For some reason I had the
idea that I was sober at this point, although I'm quite sure that wasn't
even remotely possible.) They had precisely one bottle of
Auchentoshan single malt scotch, something I had discovered in a
wonderful little scotch bar in Baltimore a few months ago. I had promised
myself to buy a bottle when I had the opportunity. This appeared to be the
opportunity, although in retrospect think waiting might have been wiser.
Mooseworth also took us to a shop imaginatively named "The Pirate Shop" which contained all sorts of kitschy pirate paraphernalia. They had a bat-winged skull that I was quite taken with, but the lady refused to sell it, explaining it was a Halloween decoration. (Well, I knew THAT; I wanted to buy it!)
(Photo: Mission)
Back at camp, I had a nip of my new found treasure which I shared with Callenish
(right), who is actually Scottish. He pronounced it good smooth
scotch and we were both pleased.
At this point, I would like to state for the record that I can usually hold my scotch pretty well. But when you pile it on top of hard cider and ale...well, let's just say I have made better choices in my life. There were several escapades involving the pink hat and I recall giving poor Red Jessi an absolutely impassioned harangue about being an emotional F for some reason. (Which she took with great stoicism, which makes the whole thing ironic.) No doubt I thought I was the life of the party. I've done my best to piece this part together using the photos on my camera, but I'm actually just winging the narrative at this point.
Below: Friday Night Festivities, as Remembered By My Camera, Even if Not By Me
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) |
(Photo: Mission)
(Photo: Mission)
Clockwise from left: The Random Street Hat (RSH) Chronicles.
We begin with Mooseworth -the guy who started all this nonsense- and the RSH telling a fish story; Mission, the RSH and the PHH; Red Jessi sporting the RSH; THE Wench, who almost makes the dopey RSH look decent; the invisible RSH wearer and Lid aka Daniel; Patrick Hand (PH), Mission and the RSH; a very drunk Michael Bagley and the RSH and, finally, Lob adopts the RSH - "My own counsel I will keep on who is to wear the RSH."
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) |
 (Photo: Mission) Salty, Callenish and Red Jessi enjoying Friday |
 (Photo: Mission) Jill-Handed Red and husband Michael |
(Photo: Mission)
The evening ended in a blur that involved Shay hauling me and my luggage to
the Ramada Inn. Both Kate and Diosa had offered to take me earlier, but because
all my reservation info was wrapped around my passport in Beverly's locker in
Detroit, I didn't know what the name of the hotel. Fortunately Shay knew...
I guess I had told her earlier when my mind was a little more... clear... and
she took me there in her snazzy green BMW Z3. Not that I appreciated the car
at this point. She helped me check in and get my luggage and carcass to the
room. (Thanks Shay!)
Right: Captain William Searle and the dread Surgeon Mission...two guys who were clearly not feeling any pain at all.