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Mission Visits the UK - England & Wales, May 2013
Epilogue - The Parthenion Shot(s)
Epilogue:
Containing the things not put into the main journal for whatever reason, mostly photos and thank-you comments. Some of the photos just strike me as funny, but they didn't fit the main narrative and some are more shots of places you've already seen, but maybe not in this way. (I figure by now you won't remember that you've seen, so I can bring it up again without you realizing it and entertain you with the same stuff.)
- Number Two: What were you looking at?
- Number Six: A light.
- Number Two: A star.
- Number Six: A boat.
- Number Two: An insect.
- Number Six: A plane.
- Number Two: A flying fish.
- Number Six: Somebody who belongs to my world.
- Number Two: This is your world. I am your world. If you insist on living a dream you may be taken for mad.
- Number Six: I like my dream.
- Number Two: Then you are mad.
From the Prisoner episode Dance of the Dead
I can't thank enough the people who made this trip both enjoyable and, in many ways, possible. They opened their houses and their worlds to me and I am grateful for this. It always amazes me how so many pirate reenactors can instantly become your friend and remain so in a meaningful way which for most people takes years. To the folks below: Thanks ever so much. You made my trip wonderful.
 Lee and Jules |
 Gareth and Elizabeth |
 Tam and Ed |
 Er... |
Lee Giving Me the Replica Fleam He Made for Me
One 'serious' sort of story and we'll move on. I had been talking about making the voyage across the pond for several years and was thinking seriously of going in 2011. Lee was one of the people I really wanted to meet.
Things happened, as things will do, and I ended up not being able to make the trip in 2011for various reasons. Unbeknownst to me when I cancelled, Lee had made a replica of an old iron fleam (a tool used in bloodletting) like one he had seen on the (amazing) antiques website Fleagrass.com.
Photo: Stolen
The Original Early Iron Fleam Image
I kind of felt bad about not being to go over and admire his work and show my appreciation. I eventually forgot about it, but when I arrived at his door two years later, he presented me with that iron fleam, which I thought was wonderful. It now has a permanent place in my pocket surgeon's kit.
Photo: Stolen
OK, on to the nonsense! Now, I warned you all that there would be a test on the city street scene photos since I took so many of them and HERE IT IS! (Yes I did too warn you. It was in Chapter 2. Go back and look if you don't believe me; it will be good review.) This test is important because 1) You must pass it to move onto the next Journal and 2) It contains a bunch of 'not quite as good as the ones used in the Journal' city photos that I wanted to stick in here somewhere.
Your test is to identify the places from this Surgeon's Journal in the photos which appear below. If you don't know the answer (and you still care at that point), you can mouse over the image and the place name will magically appear. (I love mouse over stuff. I do.) OK, off with you. Big money, no whammies...
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Well wasn't that fun? Let's do that again, say, never.
Chantry Row 2 Shower. Yup.
This is a picture of the shower/bathtub in my first room at Portmeirion - Chantry Row 2. It is lovely, but really not what you generally expect from a Surgeon's Journal. (Or maybe it is. If so, please contact me on my Facebook page and tell why you expect such things in the Surgeon's Journal because I am clearly doing something wrong.)
Anyhow, if you are wondering why it is here, let me explain. I noticed that every single bathroom in the UK was different. They all had different ways of delivering shower water. Not just different shower heads or tap fixtures, but completely differently engineered systems.
Some of these were like the US, some had corded shower heads, some had strange plastic boxes that required you to dial the settings and so on and so forth. I thought it would be neat to do a series of photos of this except, of course, I didn't take photos of the shower fixtures because it's not what I generally expect from a Surgeon's Journal. But I thought I'd mention it and put this photo here because it was sort of neat.
Naturally, this Journal would be lacking if I did not foist a couple more Portmeirion photos on you. (I have so many and I like most of them, so I have to stick them in whereever I can. Deal with it.)
 Looking in at the Hercules Statue |
 Looking out from Salutation - Note the Chess Board |
 The Belltower Imposing |
Since we've gone down this road, we must continue along it and look through a few more shots of the walking paths in Portmeirion.
 Stairs On One of the Paths |
 Trees Overgrowing a Path in Portmeirion |
 A Cannon at the Ruined Fort! (Piratey) |
The Portmeirion shots usually come in threes, with the last third being Prisoner Shots of No. 5-3/4. So here we have that. (This is it for the Portmeirion shots. I promise. I think.)
 Mission as Prisoner 5-3/4 on the Gloriette - Used in episode Free For All |
 A Close-Up of Prisoner 5-3/4 on the Gloriette |
There were also a number of English-based pop-culture references I had hoped to incorporate into this Journal. Unfortunately they didn't quite fit so I decided not to put them in the main journal in a rare show of restraint. Nevertheless, they were always in the back of my mind, so I now throw the restraints off and pop them all in here at once where they make no sense whatsoever. First a couple of human characters...
 Photo: Begged Baldric - From Blackadder Unrecognizability Rating: 23% |
 Photo: Borrowed Sir Unrecognizability Rating: 78% |
 Photo: Stolen Jason King - From the 70s (Clearly) Unrecognizability Rating: 96% |
Let's follow the humans with some animal characters. (Or, at least, in some cases, animal-like characters...)
 Photo: Bagged K-9 & the Doctor (and scotch) - From Doctor Who Unrecognizability Rating: 0.1% |
 Photo: Burrowed Mimi the Mouse - From The Saint Unrecognizability Rating: 95% |
 Photo: Stoolie Lob, From Having Other Plans Unrecognizability Rating: 0% |
This brings us to the remnants of the photos. These are things that didn't quite fit into the text or were left out because a page was running too long. So I saved them for the end. These first lot are some images loosely related to piracy or, at least, pirate-oriented things.
 Lee and Mission in Conwy |
 Ed Fox with a Copy of Drake's Crew That He Made for the Ship |
 Mission Insulting Brixham |
Next we have a selection of meat-based photos, which is odd given that your author is a vegetarian. Luckily, odd is my forte. We begin with something I saw in front of a restaurant in the New Jersey Airport where I was making a connection. It isn't quite as grisly-looking here as it actually was in real life, but those are basically sides of meat in a refrigerated window. Not appetizing. I took this 1) because it looked like something a pirate surgeon might cut away from a wounded body and 2) the sheer weirdness of this as an advertisement made me laugh. The next shot is of one of Gareth's Sheep Pens. If you look in front of the mountain in the background, you will see a rainbow. Yes, folks, the pot of gold is in Gareth's sheep enclosures. (It reminds me of the joke where a kid has been given the gift of a room filled with horse dung, so he starts digging through it all saying, "There has to be a pony in here somewhere!") The last is a van I saw at the Conwy Pirate Festival. It speaks for itself.
 A Window in the New Jersey Airport |
 One of Gareth's Pen Y Parc Sheep Pens |
 Indeed... |
Next we have interesting English contraptions. Or maybe odd English contraptions would be the better way to put it.
Oh, the trouble you can get into when you go to reach for a light
switch in the dark.
(Unrecognizability Rating: 67%)
Below left we have a rather elaborate rolling gun mounting. You can get an idea of how big the thing was by looking at the people behind it. "You call that a gun? This is a gun!" (Unrecognizability Rating: 27%)
Below center is a photo of the light switch outside of a bathroom. The English have an idiot law (that's my opinion) (and two other people's opinion I asked about this) that a light switch can't be mounted on the inside wall of the bathroom. So they are placed outside the door where any random prankster can plunge you into the instant darkness while you're using the facilities. (I call this Fawlty Light switch Law.)
Last are some things I saw on the Portmeirion paths. (OK, this is the last Portmeirion photo. Probably.) There were these odd rubber things with handles. I have no idea what they do. They looked beaver tails, so I'm going to guess they were used to beat the path when it got muddy. Or possibly to build dams along the estuary.
 The Mobile Giant Gun Mount |
 The Exterior Bathroom Switch |
 The 'I Am Really Not Sure What These Are' Tools |
There were a few other location images I shot which seemed worth sticking in here.
 Kington in the Evening. Ghostly! (Or Maybe Just Light Reflecting Off a Wet Window.) |
 A Commune Near Gareth's House - Note the Citroën 2CV from For Your Eyes Only |
 The End of the Portmeirion Path... (This may be the Last Portmeirion Shot) |
 The Baskerville Arms Hotel in Hay on Wye. Not to be Confused With the Baskerville Hall Hotel in Hay on Wye. |
 Boats in Barmouth Beach. Or Perhaps Beached Boats in Barmouth Or Maybe the Original Land Yachts. |
I thought I'd finish with some animal photos because regular readers know how much I like animals, even when they are not goats.
 Photo: Gareth Mission & Henry Morgan |
 Mission & Ed's Dog (Down) |
 Mission and Ed's Dog (Up) [He's Getting A Closer Look] |
 Prisoner No. 434 (This IS the Last Portmeirion Shot) |