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Santa Maria Pirate Weekend, September 2009 - Columbus, OH
(Photo: Mission)
Chapter 5th: Detailing journey through the wilds of Columbus to
the R Bar. Of what happened at
the R Bar, entailing selling raffle tickets to support the Santa
Maria, goofing around and drinking far too much. Also including details of
the locals and their primitive bachelorette customs.
Sensing we were not wanted by the Wedding Gang* several of the guys decided to leave for the bar (at right, from left: Sam, Andrew, Thomas, Silas and Michael). On the way, we encountered a car full of people looking for the wedding. Somehow they confused our gear with the wedding stuff and thought we were headed there. Michael straightened them out (below left). Arriving in front of some arena, we encountered the Vast Sea of People Waiting for Something (below right)
*See TSJftC,OHTLaPD #3 -Ed.
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We thought we could go around the mob until we determined that this was the line for the new roller coaster at Cedar Point, Shake You Viciously Until You Nearly Die. So Michael, summoning all his expert Viking training, battled our way through the lines. (Or maybe the comic-style reference above is just going to my head and we meandered through. Either way...) After getting through the line, we were shang hai'd by the parents of some poor girl waiting in front of a restaurant. Being men about town, we dutifully posed while she turned brighter and brighter shades of red (below left). Sensing a photo op and not wanting to waste it, some guy - I think he was a waiter - insisted we get a photo with him as well (below right).
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Upon arriving at our destination, Michael treated the intrepid walkers to a round. (Thanks, Michael!) Yes, we were going to the R Bar. Or the Arrrr! bar. (:roll eyes:) Michael and the crew had Molson, but I wanted to try Blue Moon Beer. The bartender promptly put an orange slice on my mug. Well! I don't think my mug has ever felt so royally treated. It almost makes up for the huge dent in it. (I blame Stynky for that too. Put him on tryal!) I asked the bartender about the orange slice and he said it was tradition to put it on Blue Moon Beer. Huh.
We then headed to the outside deck to watch the passers-by and hang out in the pleasant evening air. The bartender told us that one of the bar's owners, Natalie, had put 30 pirate songs on her iPod for our entertainment. It started with several selections of the POTC sound track which was so nice that we almost didn't notice the version of A Pirate's Life for Me being warbled by none other than Elmo. (Almost. Putting songs like this in your song mix for such an event is one of those ideas that sounds so funny when you're doing it, but never quite seems the same in real life. I once made a haunted house compilation for Movie-themed haunted house and couldn't resist putting a few "spooky" Bugs Bunny songs on there. I really, really should have resisted. It ruined the feng shui or something.)
Our generous hostess, Natalie, showed up awhile later (below center, with Michael). She informed us that after seeing her outfit, her husband had christened her 'Captain Hooker.' Soon after, the non-walking crowd arrived and we dominated the patio (below right). It was a fine night for sitting around, drinking al fresco. Even if Elmo came up more than once. (Four times, by my count.)
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(Photo: Thatchers)
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(Photo: Thatchers)
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Of course, in addition to being there to drink, we were there to sell
raffle tickets - one raffle for 50/50 and the other for prizes including
hockey tickets. (The R Bar is actually a hockey bar, not a Talk Like a
Pirate Day themed bar.) While the rest of us hung around drinking, Kate
started selling tickets (left). Sales picked up more as people drank more
(right). There were three ways to buy
them...an arm's length for $5, A treasure chest (wrapped around the chest
of the person chosen) for...was it $25? (See Capt. Hooker below left.
That's Linda Ketchum, the director of the Santa Maria is in the red vest behind her.)
A double treasure chest (2 people back to back with tickets wrapped around their chests) was
$35 (below center & right - with Rosabella and Kate serving as the
targets.)
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The raffle drawings were to take place later that night, which is when we'll get to that. Being a nice clement evening with lots of people coming and going and drinks flowing freely, we re-enactors had time to talk in between selling tickets. I was fascinated with the various oddments Count d'Booty and Rosabella had acquired for their costumes so I talked with them for a bit. I really liked his "hobbit pipe" (below left). Sensing he had a good audience, he broke out his treasure map of the Great Lakes area (below center). Apparently it's based on an old map of the area. It was laser etched into leather. Rosabella's leather bodice was similarly etched with some amusing names.
The good Count explained that he was one of four people who had started The Brethren of the Great Lakes, who are a for-profit group. He and Rosabella were actually taking some time off from the busy BotGL schedule to check out the Santa Maria fund-raising event. He had lots of fun stories about their adventures (like pulling their schooner into a dock with thousands of people stopping to enjoy the spectacle) and I was most entertained. I also learned that as a baby Rosabella was bald for the first year of her life. Tired of hearing her little girl called a boy, her mother decided to dress her almost exclusively in pink, which is why she won't wear pink to this day. (I don't remember the first year of my life, but she's younger than I am and maybe it's because she's closer to the event.)
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George showed up after the wedding party finished with the
ship. He tried to hide, even going so far as to turn black and white
so as not to be seen.(Left.)
He ruefully told me that he had been invited
to the reception, but since all the women were in their mid-30s he decided
not to go. (So what's wrong with younger women?)
Right: It's not me, it's the hat. (And the beer.)
The arrival of George meant that the ship's decks were now clear. This was welcome news to Andrew, who apparently didn't dig the whole bar scene.
(Photo: Mission)
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Of course, as important as drinking was, it wasn't our
only job in the place as pirates. We also wanted to entice people to
come into the bar so they could buy us drinks and purchase our raffle
tickets. Rosabella and the Count proved to be exceptionally good at
this, hanging around at the edges of the courtyard and eventually
outside of the courtyard convincing passers-by that the R Bar was the
place to be (left).
There were a lot of bachelorette parties passing by the place, which seemed extraordinary to me. A quick chat with the doorman (Right: Sorry, didn't get his name) revealed that the warm weekends were nearly always like this! (If you're fishing, you couldn't pick a better pond, me thinks.) Oh, and the doorman informed me that he had spent months gathering the materials for the TLaPD holiday. (Um...yeah...yeah, that is.)
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(Photo: Thatchers)
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Some (but not all) of the bachelorette photos. Pirates with groups of
girls, above left: George and Shannon with a group. At left: there is one
happy man - Callenish Gunner. Right: Count d'Booty chats with a bachelorette
and friend.
Below: Shannon in the middle of everything. One bride-to-be had him...ah, sign the articles. He also had some sort of lip vibration trick, the details of which he wouldn't reveal. He used it on any girl willing. (More than you might think.)
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But it wasn't all just bachelorettes posing with pirates! Some
lucky fellow got in with Kate Souris, Jenny Gist and
Linda Ketchum. (Left.) One last story and we'll move on. A gaggle of
girls appeared carrying pink shots (seen at right). These turned out to be
Swedish Fish, which fascinated me, so I got one. I offered it to everyone
and reactions were varied on the accuracy of taste. Amazingly,
Rosabella and C. d'Booty had never had real Swedish Fish, so we all agreed
they'd have to try them.
Finally, after an evening of carousing, encouraging patrons to come in and selling them tickets, it was time for the drawings. I don't remember exactly what the prizes were, but I'm know hockey tickets, sports-themed hats and some other sports stuff was mentioned. There other raffle was a 50/50 and I'm certain they announced how much it was for. Almost as certain as I am that I forgot how much it was for. Below left and center: Michael and Captain Hooker get up on the bar and pull the winner tickets from a pitcher for the drawings. Below right: A proud winner of a baseball cap.
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(Photo: Shannon)
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Here are a couple of last favorites of mine from the bar that I wanted to stick on this page. Below left is a picture of Captain Hooker that I really liked. (This almost surely means that she will hate it. I search and sift through photos to find my favorites and people always hate them. "My ears look to pink," and other such comments are the usual result. Of course, I would probably feel the same if someone else was picking their favorite photos of me, so there you are. Whereever that is, there you are.) Below center: Two people that look amusing, but like complete opposites to me - Count d'Booty with a charming lass wearing a prep sweater-vest. Below right: A little girl that was in the bar early who I really wanted to get to look at the camera. No dice - she just wasn't to sure about all these weird people dressed like pirates.
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After the drawing, we bid our kind host adieu (although we didn't actually say 'adieu' because then we would sound like Belloq) and we toddled back to the ship the way we'd come. The sea of people was gone, but we ran into some guys who were with the Army presentation group that the sea of people had been lined up to see (No, sorry, it wasn't really for Cedar Point. I lied.)
One of the guys wanted to get a photo with us, so he coerced his buddy into having one taken with the pirates. His buddy is at left with Count d'Booty, Rosabella, Trish, Michael Bagley and me. (BTW, this is a photo of me I hate. There is no other one for me to use, so I post it for all to see despite the fact that I look like a prized dork. Do me a huge favor and go back to the top of the page where the two girls are with me, one of whom is wearing my hat. I like that photo of me. Burn that in your memory and expunge the one below from your memory forever. Please.) Once that was over, the first Army presentation guy got rid of the male pirates so he could get a shot of what he really wanted - the pirate women with him. (Look at that expression. Says it all, doesn't it?)
(Photo: Mission)
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