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Michigan Pirate Fest, August 2012 - Grand Haven, MI
Photo: Mary Diamond
Mission's burnt feet that you can't see.
(I look really devious in this photo.)
Chapter 5th: Of Sunday morning, focusing particularly on Mission's feet as well as the things going on at the Festival outside of the period correct pirate's corner. Including a look at some PC-oriented campsites from other eras; A troop of acrobats; The Fire Dancers; RootJack, a patent nostrum that cures the scurvy; various other vendors and displays and some thoughts about letter writing during period.
I woke up on Sunday morning in pain. To be more specific, my feet were in pain. As I mentioned in a previous chapter, I had forgotten my socks and had not put on suntan lotion on Saturday. This, combined with the fact that the only non-sock appropriate footwear I had were my sandals, meant my feet tops got pretty badly burnt.
Photo: Mission
You can almost see the pattern here.
(Hopefully you didn't eat right before
looking at this photo.)
In fact, they were actually starting to blister on Sunday morning.
The stupid thing is that I had actually thought about putting on suntan lotion on Saturday morning but figured I wouldn't need it because it was overcast. Still, at least the rope sandals had left a weird-looking pattern on my feet. Every cloud has a silver lining!
M.A. d'Dogge hadn't asked for his socks back, so I put them back on and made the best of it with my buckle shoes. I set up the surgeon's table for another day of explaining period surgery, but I must confess I was aching to get out and look around so that I could find some good photos of the Faire parts of the event for you guys. When I found myself snapping at some of the kids for reaching for the razor sharp tools, I decided to get Carla to take my place again and journey. (She was very nice and most willing to fill in every time I asked her. Kudos to her for being such a good surgeon's assistant. Look for an extra amputated finger or toe in your next pay envelope, Carla.)
 Photo: Dolphin Danie The grumpy, burnt surgeon manning his table on Sunday morning. |
 Photo: Dolphin Danie Hey kid! Don't touch that, it's sharp! |
The first place I wanted to see was a few tents down from our display on the historical 
Photo: Mission
A really elaborate period layout
row. Carla told me it was really neat, so I made a beeline for it. It was indeed really neat in that 'ready for anything, living in luxury' style of encampment. It reminded me of some of the interesting encampments at Paynetown that were filled with carpets and items which made a tent look more like a palace.
I shot some photos of one of the owners making up the bed. When she spotted me, she said she really should pose better for such a moment and sat herself on the bed. I dutifully snapped a photo, but I like the one of her fixing the place up better.
I also really liked a slatted wood cabinet they had set up along one side of the fly-covered area. I can't imagine having to haul such a thing to a site. I certainly can't see a bunch of sailors making their shore camp with such rich appointments and certainly not checkered table cloths, but it was neat nonetheless. I'm guessing they were representing a later period than the golden age of piracy, although I don't know enough to say which period that might be.
 Photo: Mission |
 Photo: Mission |
From there I wandered out into the greater event site. As I mentioned before, it was about two football fields or so in size. There were vendors and displays along the perimeter of the place. There was also an inside area with a stage. You can see a hand-drawn map of the location here if you are curious. (Although the emphasis is on "hand drawn" and not quite so much on "map.")
 Photo: Mission A Vendor with skulls... AND a funny sign! |
 Photo: Dolphin Danie A row of vendors along one side of the edge of the event site. |
Photo: Mission
Hook and Jill Author Andrea Jones
I decided to make my way around the perimeter path. It contained dozens of vendors. Most of the things they were selling proved to be primarily aimed at kids, so I didn't spend a lot of time there.
The first one I saw that interested me enough to approach was an author's tent. Andrea Jones is the author of the book series Hook & Jill. Thinking of myself as an author too (What do you mean of what? Of these Journals!), I hung around for a bit and learned that she had just published the follow-up book to Hook and Jill. It is called Other Oceans.
An online search turned up a press release which gushed that the first book "reveals the dark side of innocence at which Barrie hinted in the figure of Peter Pan."
Photo: Dolphin Danie
Andrea Jones signing a book for a fan
That sounded a bit too breathless for me, but further research turned up the book publisher's web page for the series which presented the books in a way that seemed a little more promising.
"Wendy intends to live happily ever after with Peter Pan. But Time, like this tale, behaves in a most unsettling way. As Wendy mothers the Lost Boys in Neverland, they thrive on adventure. She struggles to keep her boys safe from the Island's many hazards, but she finds a more subtle threat encroaching from an unexpected quarter."
I also learned that Andrea was a member of the Brethren of the Great lakes and that she went under the name Capitana Red-Hand in an on-line pirate group.
On the inside of the event site I found some interesting Faire-style activities.
Photo: Rootjack
Face painting a mustachio on a little girl. (Why not?)
A lot of these things were also geared towards kids, which makes sense. (Most people probably wouldn't go to a pirate event event unless they had kids, which extraordinarily ironic when you look into the behavior of the actual subjects.) Several of the kid-oriented activities seemed to be located in the middle, like the face-painting tent you see at left. This explained where all those little girls with drawn-on facial hair were coming from. (It did not explain my unmet profile subject Amanda, however.)
There was also a strong ties between this event and the local library, which I thought was an incredibly good idea. I am all for encouraging the use of public libraries. (A lot of the factual articles you find on my website are thanks in large part to help from various public libraries.) There had been other pirate-kid-oriented events at the local library the week before the Festival, further cementing the connection. During the day, the library was giving a book reading in the their tent, as you see below left.
There were also kid-friendly shows going on at the main stage like the one you see below right. I didn't stick around to see the entire show, but it was the sort of thing that kids enjoy with enough sneaky adult jokes thrown in to keep the adults from wandering away. It reminded me a lot of the sort of thing you see at Renaissance festivals.
 Photo: Mission A reading for kids at the Library Tent |
 Photo: Dolphin Danie A comedic pirate skit on the main stage |
Also using the stage were the girls of Fiend Fyre Charmers, who put on several shows on Saturday and Sunday. Nothing about their show seemed very golden age of piracy-oriented, but it still was quite interesting to watch. You could always tell when they were beginning by the music they played. I really wanted to get a good photograph of the girl with the long red, fiery-looking silk wings, but I never got over there fast enough when the music started. (Fortunately Sergio Mazzotta got several good ones like the one below left.)
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Jennifer Whitis and her firey-looking wings |
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Rebecca Potts Vogel's sword afire |
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Mikayla Vogal with swinging fireballs |
Photo: Dolphin Danie
"To master it... you have to love it a little."
When I was looking through Sergio's voluminous photo albums of the event, I noticed that the girls looked like they had burns on their arms in some of the photos. When I had managed to catch their show, it had appeared to be so seamless and practiced that I couldn't imagine this being true.
In fact, it wasn't! Not having enough fire in their lives from doing several shows a day with burning objects, some of them had decided to get henna tattoos of fire on their arms and chests. That is some dedication to the object of you shows! But then I suppose if you're doing fire shows every weekend for fun, you have to love fire.
After all, isn't that the sort of thing that Robert De Niro would say? (OK, he didn't quite say that. But you get the idea.)
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta The entire Fiend Fyre entertainment crew |
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Not burns on their arms |
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Mikayla being henna tattooed |
Something I did not actually see actually happening, but of which I found photographs was the Notty Bits Side Show. (As you know, your author is never afraid to explain things he didn't see and doesn't understand.) Looking at their web site, I learned that, true to their name, they do side show type stunts. Among the various advertised shows were things you might expect like bed of nails and snake charming as well as some you might not expect (or even necessarily comprehend) like the human blockhead, the box of extreme discomfort and ribbon poi spinners. (Isn't poi a type of food?)
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Gwyd T. Unusual and his mousetrap |
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Sylvyr Fyre tugs on Gwyd's mousetrap |
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Sylvyr Fyre doing acrobatics |
Photo: Sergio Mazzotta
Sylvyr Fyre doing something it hurts to contemplate
Whatever poi is, it all looked most entertaining. It included a guy by the name of Gwyd T. Unusual putting his tongue into a mousetrap. His assistant or companion Sylvyr Fyre helped by pulling on the mousetrap. She also performed aerobatic stunts seen in the photos above and at left. Another girl called Jess Miller did similar air acrobatics. (Clearly Jess didn't understand the naming convention required by Notty Bits. I'm surprised they let her perform at all with a stage name like that.)
I had actually noticed the acrobats wandering around the event site and wondered what tight red shorts represented in the world of fantasy pirates. Had I seen the show, it would have all made sense. I also happened to notice while looking at photos of Jess that she could do a really keen cosplay imitation of Harley Quinn, the Joker's sidekick in Batman: The Animated Series. Between her pony tails, her white blonde hair and that mouth, she would really have a leg up. (So to speak.)
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta Jess Miller enjoying her time spinning on the cables |
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta It's the Harley look... |
 Photo: Er, borrowed Jess's alter-ego? |
 Photo: Swiped "I ain't seein' it, Mr. J.." |
Health Commentator Thomas Tryon
Directly around the corner from the acrobat set-up was RootJack, maker of something called a 'Pirate Energy Drink.' Curiously, in all the period medical literature I have read to date, I have never found a reference to an 'energy drink,' but I suppose the people at RootJack may have found a source that I haven't seen yet.
I do have a bunch of pdfs of material written by Thomas Tryon, who has written several books about day-to-day life during this time period including A Discourse of Waters (1696) and The Way to Health, Long Life and Happiness (1697) which I have not yet read. No doubt the folks at RootJack have read them and scooped me on the pirate energy drink information.
RootJack do have a section on their website called "The Arguably Plausible Tale of RootJack" which contains an account of a pirate I've never heard of, but I didn't have time to read to find out if there was reference to Tryon's works.
 Photo: Dolphin Danie The Captain, ever watchful for customers |
 Photo: Mission Bartholomew Blackheart buys a bottle |
 Photo: Mission The support crew resting |
I had first come across the orange-flavored root beer at the Dufrenses where Zach was explaining loudly why he liked it to a doubter.
Scurvy Commentator John Woodall
Being diabetic, I always have to be cautious of such things because of their sugar content, but I decided to throw caution to the wind (and start my period-correct insulin pump pumping) and try the stuff. It
does say that it fights scurvy, after all. This would be a perfectly plausible claim during the golden age of piracy because everyone had a theory about what cured scurvy.
John Woodall lists dozens of different things that can be consumed to fight it and two of them are actually right. (Which led some modern writers to suggest Woodall was one of the first people to find the cure scurvy. Actually, with the list of potential palliatives he gave, he could hardly have missed the target.)
Anyhow... I tried the RootJack and, just as the Captain of the RootJack warned me, it did not taste at all like root beer. It was quite good, though. He said the orange flavor was a plus because people who did not normally like root beer liked his soda once he cajoled them into trying it. (I wondered what people who did like root beer thought, but the Captain didn't seem to want to discuss that much.) Since it does contain orange, it should also be a good source of vitamin C, which we now know does actually fight scurvy. So I'm thinking of endorsing this product by giving it the Pirate Surgeon's Journal Officious Seal of Approval. All they have to do is send me a truckload of money and I'll give them the endorsement.
 Photo: Mission A cool mug found at RJ's |
 Photo: Rootjack Dennis Dufrense enjoying a bottle of scurvy-relieving energy drink |
 Photo: Sergio Mazzotta A possible endorsement? |
Photo: Sos Boss
Carla's trick on Becci: Scooby Doo masks on the table
I eventually had to get back to my table - it wasn't fair to leave Carla there. Except I don't think she actually was there when I got back. But it's best not to leave it empty either. So I spent the balance of the morning working the surgeon's table, doing my shtick.
Carla had other things on her mind. Apparently it was fellow Collective member Becci's birthday. (Wouldn't they all have the same birthday? Isn't that part of the assimilation process? I guess not.) Carla had decided it would be fun to play a trick on Becci.
While Becci was out, Carla put Scooby Doo masks on some the things on the Kid's Tent table (including Flapjack the monkey. She then went off and found Dennis Dufrense, convincing him to go and reprimand Becci because her table wasn't up to the event standards. He led Becci back to the table and pointed out the Scooby Doo masks. (Becci is a huge fan of Scooby Doo according to Carla.) After they got her, Dennis fessed up and they all had a good laugh, I suppose. (What is it about our group and treating people badly on their birthday? More on that in few chapters.)
 Photo: Sos Boss Becci holding a Scooby mask with conspirators Dave, Dennis and Shannon |
 Photo: Sos Boss Becci with event organizer Dennis Dufrense |
Photo: Mission
A moppet with a missive
Sometime in the early afternoon Carla reappeared and invited me to leave so I could have lunch across the way at Shananigens. She promised to watch the surgical table. While I was sitting there munching, a moppet appeared and handed me a little scrap of paper, telling me that the lady told her to give it to me. It was clearly another letter to me from Mary Diamond. I read it and it was like the last one she had sent me. It asked after my health, hoped I was well, talked about Stinky Bob... who the heck was Stinky Bob?
I later inquired after Stinky Bob. He turned out to be one of the members of the Forsaken crew whom I have already mentioned by name in this Journal. Right here would be a great place to write up a profile of Stinky Bob. He
seemed like a nice guy.
Photo: Mission
Stinky Bob, loaded for bear
I would expand upon that, but I don't know anything more about him, having not really talked with him very much.
While I was asking Mary about things, I asked her why she kept sending me letters. She said that people used to write each other regularly and that sailors would carry letters like this on them all the time and read and re-read them, until they became quite faded and careworn. She advised me to keep in my my garb pocket, which I did.
Alas, technology has given us the washing machine in the intervening years and my letter is now careworn to the point that all that remains is the wax seal the few bits of paper that didn't wash off stuck to the back of it. The rest of the letter is distributed rather uniformly over all of my period garb. Look for little bits of white on me in the upcoming Santa Maria Talk Like a Pirate Weekend photos. (I still have the one from Put-in-Bay, Mary! I think I'll leave it in the dresser with my other prized objects from events!)
 Photo: Mission Mary writing letters at her table |
 Photo: Mission Mission's letter from Mary Diamond |
 Photo: Marci Kroska Pa readin' letters in his den |