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Pirate Fest, June 2014 - Put-in-Bay, OH
Chapter 4th: Of the stuffed animals at the event, focusing particularly on Mary Bear, bringing up Flapjack -the SoS Boss mascot and closing with Lob the irascible monkey.
In addition to attracting
a lot of pirate reenactors every year, the Put-in-Bay Pirate Fest seems to attract a lot of stuffed animals. Focus on this facet of the event began in 2011 with a small feature on Lob, who is a fixture at pirate events. ("Lob no fixer! Lob is breaker!") It was dramatically expanded into an entire page featuring Snoopy as co-narrator because of the explosion of animals brought to the event in 2012. (You should really go read that one, if only for my sake. It took me as long to assemble that page as it did to put together three normal pages. I read through five Peanuts anthologies to come up with the Snoopy material.) The P-i-B/stuffed animal link became a bit more diffuse in the 2013 Journal, with bits on Mission Bear, the Kraken and Lob appearing throughout one of the chapters. Still, there is a strong tradition of stuffed pirate animals at Put-in-Bay, at least according to this journalist. This year was no exception.
We begin with Mary Bear, who is actually a rabbit and not a bear all, but ' Mary Bear' sounds better than 'Mary Rabbit'. (And 'Mary Rabbit' sounds better than Merry Brandybuck. But than anything sounds better than that.) Mary Bear was a gift which I commissioned Trudi Dufrense to make for Mary Diamond. I suppose this requires some further explanation...
I learned that Trudi made bears in custom reenactment clothes when I wrote a profile of her in 2012.
The Three Twins and Their Bears (FTPI, 2012)
The first bears I had made were the twin bears, which I presented at the Fort Taylor Pyrate Invasion to my twins in 2012. It was a sort of joke based on a comment from the 2011 FTPI Surgeon's Journal as well as a way of saying 'Thanks!' for all the help the twins give me with these Journals.
Unbeknownst to me, Trudi also made a third twin bear (because I am the third twin) which is now known as Mission Bear.
Those bears came out so well, that I had Trudi make me bears for British soldier reenactors Elizabeth and Gareth Pugh which I gave to them when I visited them in Wales to thank them for their hospitality while I stayed with them.
I also had one made for Stynky Tudor (although that one was (appropriately) a dog, not a bear), who has been a reenacting pal, confidante and pain-in-the-neck since my first reenactment. I did not give to him at Fort Taylor in 2013 because he wasn't there. The bastid. And this brings us to Mary Bear. (Bet you were beginning to wonder if we'd ever get here.)
I
Mary and Her Bear/Bunny
made Mary a bear because Mary Diamond has been helping me with my pirate reenacting persona since the very beginning. She found and suggested to me my first book on the topic of sea surgery. (Rough Medicine by Joan Druett). Her father made my little medicine chest using a bunch of bottles which I had almost blindly purchased off eBay. She had even sold me my first pair of shoes which lasted far longer than they had any right to. If that wasn't enough, she was a sounding board for me in the year leading up to my first reenactment at Fort Taylor, offering me ideas and advice. Plus I love hanging around with her on the rare opportunities we get to see one another. Besides, her traveling outfit looks great and I knew it make an awesome bear/bunny outfit.
When I first ran into her on Friday, she wasn't dressed in her garb (having only just put her tent up). Should I give her it to her now? The prudent answer seemed to be 'No.' So I decided to wait until she was dressed before presenting Mary Bear.
Yeah, right. That lasted about 10 seconds. There are some people who can keep surprises to themselves until the opportune moment presents itself. I am not one of them. So I trotted off and got the box containing Mary Bear and gave it to My Diamond. Creator Trudi had been most anxious to see Mary's reaction to the Mary Bear (probably because she had been robbed of seeing Stynky's reaction last year because the bastid didn't show up to receive it.) Mary paid off big time as you see below.
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Photo: Jessica Bagley
Mary Bear's Stays Revealed!
The girls were fascinated by Mary Bear, probably because this is the first time this group had seen one of female animals made by Trudi. (They had seen Mission Bear at the last Put-in-Bay, but that was just Mission and who cares about him?) Mary loved the fact that the bunny's cartridge pouch contained small paper cartridges, Jessica was delighted to discover that the rabbit's corset was actually boned. (So fascinated that she took the photo you see here) Everyone admired the terrific job Trudi had done matching the color of Mary's outfit to the hare's, even including the lace cravat and silky golden scarf Mary uses as a belt for her traveling garb. (I'm not even sure how Trudi figured out that the scarf was silk! I just sent her a bunch of photos to work from and let her figure out the rest of it. She really does do amazing work.)
Mary Bear took her place at Mary Diamond's writing display for the bulk of the weekend. Across the way, the SoS Boss stuffed mascot, Flapjack, espied her. He apparently made his way across the sidewalk to
Henry
get a better look as you see below. Flapjack, being the lady's monkey that he is, decided to...
"Lob is! Him got one mighty big mojo which he'll reveal to you right now by..."
Yes, we'll get to you, never fear. But we're talking about Flapjack right now.
"Flapjack is no kind of party animal! Lob can smoke rings around him!"
In fact, I can't even imagine a voice for Flapjack. Lob's voice is as sharp as a stiletto in my mind, but for Flapjack, I got nothing. ("That's cuz' Lob is one sharp monkey. Him sharpest tool in all drawer!" You're a tool, all right.) Possibly because of this lack of voice thing, Flapjack sort of reminds me of the old comic book character Henry, who is notable for having no mouth and was thus forced to communicate by scratching his head, raising his eyebrows, popping his eyes and having punctuation marks appear over his head. Henry was forever getting involved in the sort of innocuous sight gags and corny jokes you found in comics from the 30s and 40s.
 Photo: SoS Boss Flapjack Eyeing Mary Bear at Her Writing Table |
 Photo: SoS Boss Flapjack Gives the Camera a Knowing Look & Wink (Although He Can't Really Wink) |
The Only Photo I have of Mary at Dinner on Saturday
Mary Bear's biggest adventure of the weekend (at least based on the number of pictures I found) was at the party on the Niagara. There is a story here...
Mary Diamond and me had gone out for dinner with some of the crew of the Medusa to Pasquale's Restaurant after Site B closed on Saturday afternoon. Mary and I went there mostly so she could get an order of Bosco Sticks, which I (and you, if you read it) learned last year are one of Mary's all-time favorite things to eat. I figured we had just about enough time to order, scarf down the food, and make our way over to the Niagara. Nice and neat.
Or not. While we were waiting for the food to come, Mary announced that she wanted to bring Mary Bear
Mary Bear on the Niagara
with her on the Niagara. I explained that we had just about enough time to order, scarf down the food, and make our way over to the Niagara. Nice and neat. She nodded. I thought I had her convinced. I was a fool.
The food arrived and I set down to scarfing. Mary nibbled at at Bosco stick and then said she really wanted to go back to the campsite and get Mary Bear.
"What about your food?" I asked, as a last resort.
"We can get it to go and you can bring it on the ship for me."
Oh boy! I was now bringing a take-out container of Bosco Sticks to a nice party where they were serving food and drinks! I should have quit while I was ahead.
So I showed up at the ship with said container and Mary showed up with Mary Bear. Actually, even though there was food on the Niagara (oh, that yummy garlic dip...), people still seemed to appreciate the presence of the Bosco Sticks. They were all gone by the end of the party. And, I'll admit, there were some really nice shots of Mary Bear shipboard as you see.
 Photo: Mission Mary Bear & Ty on the Niagara |
 Photo: Mission Mary Bear & Her Mom on the Niagara |
 Photo: Mission's Camera Mary Bear & Mission on the Niagara |
"There's also some not nice shots of Mary Bear on boat! Lob makes plenty good moves on hot chicka! Whoo hoo! Lob is mighty fine specimen!"
Specimen of what?
"Him hunka' hunka burnin' love!" Show hotsy-totsy chickie bird good times! Teach that Flapjack how a sailor handles a woman!"
If by 'handles', you mean 'gropes', I guess you have something there.
"Oh, no! Lob's not into groups. Lob is a one man woman!"
Do you mean...oh, never mind.
"Hey, baby! Is that fur real? Lob never seen a blonde fur that light. Did you dye it? It doesn't look real to Lob, but that's OK!"
Let's move on, shall we?
"Lob's movin' all right! Him gots the moves like Jagger!"
Now, honestly, what does that even mean?
 Photo: Mission Lob's Subtle Moves |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography "Hey, does you come here often? Lob is just roping in all fillies!" |
Photo: SoS Boss - Flapjack Visits the Sword Table
Flapjack had some other adventures other than his silent courting of Mary Bear. These were recorded by Carla of the SoS Boss Crew.
He stopped over at the sword table (which was convenient since it was right next to the SoS Booth). There Flapjack chopped his foot off. I'm kidding! But it sort of looks like that's what he's going to do in the photo they took.
Flapjack made his way around the display (say, that rhymes nice), stopping in to visit and pause for photos as you see below. He even appears to have given Abhik a neck rub, which seems like an awfully forward thing for Henry... I mean Flapjack... to do, but I guess he's just full of surprises!
"OK, enough about him, talk about Lob!"
Yes, you're next.
"What are you waiting for? Talk now!"
 Photo: SoS Boss Flapjack, Casual |
 Photo: SoS Boss Flapjack Checking Out Mary Diamond's Writing Table |
 Photo: SoS Boss FJ Massaging Abhik |
Since I'm out of other images for this chapter and I can't put it off any longer, let's get to Lob. "Finally! Best part of all Journal!" Yes, some readers do write me to say that. (But only the ones whose trick cyclists allow them to have crayons in their wards.)
Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography
Mary Bear and Lob with Sea Dog. (Squeeze Harder!)
Michael Colosimo seemed to have taken it upon himself to watch Lob. Michael did this by tying him to a belaying pin which he tucked into his waistband. (I'm not entirely sure why he did this. The simplest thing to do with Lob is to put him into your pocket and fasten the button. "That not stop Lob from getting out." And maybe add a few safety pins for good measure. "Hey! Lob knows how to undo them. Him no stupid monkey." And maybe a few vice grips attaching his head to your pocket for good measure. "I am going to start flinging poo at you soon!"
Michael took Lob around the island to see some of the sights of Put-in-Bay. "Lob hates seeing sights. Lob would rather have teeth pulled if Lob had any teeth." For example, Michael took Lob to visit the scenic concrete blocks located a the end of Columbus Avenue, the iron work gingerbread found at the top of the Perry Monument and Sea Dog. (OK, Sea Dog is not a typical Put-in-Bay sight. In fact, I have no idea what Sea Dog is. But he saw Lob.)
 Photo: Jessica Bagley Lob and Michael Not Giving Up the Ship |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Lob Atop Perry Monument |
Michael & Lob Play Jenga at Mojitos
(This can only end badly.)
Of course, Michael went with the rest of us to the bars and, while he tried, he couldn't always keep an eye on the wily monkey. As a result, Lob managed participate quite freely in one of the island's favorite sports: drinking at the many, many bars.
"That's cuz' Lob is a party animal!"
I suppose. Either that or Lob is a walking Id.
"Lob is no walking dead."
Id. As in Idiot.
"Lob is not that either."
Fortunately they charge for the drinks in bars which limited Lob's access a bit. But not that much, because Lob is well known for sneaking drinks out of other people's glasses when they aren't looking and Put-in-Bay bars are quite full of people drinking. They are also wonderful places for distractions. So Lob had an awful lot of access to booze. "You is snoozing, Lob is boozing! Whoo hoo!"
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Lob Sneaking Drinks |
 Photo: Mission's Camera "Chug! Chug! Chug!" |
 Photo: Becci Rollhaus Five Bad Decisions Later... |
Photo:Tilted Pirate Photography
Lob's Belaying Pin Secured
Things really came to a head on the Niagara.
"Things come into Lob's head all the time. Like right now; Lob thinks he would like a banana daiquiri."
Isn't that a bit cliche for you?
"Why?"
Monkey - banana.
"Lob will be just as happy with pineapple daiquiri or cherry daiquiri or avocado daiquiri!"
But of course you will.
The problem with Lob being on the Niagara is that, as you may recall from Chapter 1, they were serving free beer and wine during the party. Michael Colosimo, apparently not taking this fact into consideration, foolishly brought Lob shipboard. Possibly realizing his mistake, he made sure Lob was firmly tied to the belaying pin and then stuck the
Photo:Tilted Pirate Photography
Lob On the Ropes
belaying pin in amongst the others on the ship as you see at right.
That lasted about 2 minutes. As I've already explained, Lob is wily. Plus his arms are like pieces of furry wet noodles (seriously, they are). So he quickly managed to release himself and commenced imbibing. Once he had a snootful, Lob proceeded to terrorize the ladies of the ship.
OK, that's not really fair. Other than Mary Bear, the women didn't seem to mind Lob's presence. Or at least the two in the photos below put a on brave face when he inflicted himself upon them.
Of course, all that free booze and running around eventually caught up with the unruly monkey and he wound up in the position of everyone who indiscriminately mixes his alcohols, as you see at left. You probably think that was the end of him for the night, but Lob is made of sterner stuff. Once purged, he sallied into the bars that night and continued his binge.
"Never pass up good opportunity to be drunk and stupid, that Lob's motto!"
Particularly the 'stupid' part.
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Lob in the Life Ring With Becci Rollhaus |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Lob and One of the More Adventurous Crew of the Niagara |
Before finishing the main part of the Journal, I want to leave you with one last link. It's just something for those of you who were wondering.