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Pirate Fest, June 2014 - Put-in-Bay, OH
Epilogue: Of random weirdness at the event including various surprises inflicted upon the crew, a ride on the merry-go-round, Abhik and period medicine, a pop quiz and some other things that weren't in the main Journal. Obviously.
Photo: Jessica Bagley
Ed Rembert: Here Because He Doesn't
Appear Enough
Elsewhere in this Journal
Before moving into the usual material, I must first thank those who let me use their photographs in the Surgeon's Journal. I am grateful to everyone who takes the time to capture moments and then allows me to lift and bolster my material with them.
I used one image each from Becci Rollhaus and Harrison Pease and since my photographer template only gives me room for 5 images, I thought I'd give them credit here in the text. I will also be using a few images that were taken with Abhik Bawali's camera later on this page, so he deserves credit as well.
Jim Shipley  Photo: Jessica Bagley |
Jessica Bagley Photo: Tilted Pirate |
Michael Colosimo Photo: Jessica Bagley |
Mission Photo: Jessica Bagley |
SoS Boss Photo: Tilted Pirate |
Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography
Mission's Scale & Medicine Chest
This brings us to the epilogue portion of the epilogue, which contains photos that I didn't put elsewhere, but I wanted to put in this journal for one reason or another.
We begin with the one reason instead of the another. I think that the images you see in this section are the photographic equivalent of artistic still life paintings. Sometimes a photographer captures something I like in an image, giving it a richness and vibrancy that I myself rarely capture. (Even when I try to do so.)
The first one is a nice clear image of the scales on my table, which is amazing. My table is actually a cluttered jumble of surgical instruments set up so that I can explain things that are related to one another. There is order to the layout, but I have no gift (and less interest) in setting them out properly spaced like fine silver at a fancy dinner. My style is more oriented towards being able to find something when I want it, which means it must be located near some other things. (To heck with spacing and angle of placement.) Anyhow, I liked this image, so here it is.
The other two images are of Mary Diamond's writing table. Mary is actually a bit more concerned with spacing and placement, so her table makes for nice photos.
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Mary Diamond's Paper, Quills, Water and Sealing Implements |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Mary Diamond's Maps and Papers |
There
Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography
Look at All Those Fish Flies! Appetizing, Isn't It?
were a variety of surprises this weekend, a few of which have already been mentioned. For example, Mary Bear was my surprise for Mary Diamond. The evening on the Niagara with the local gentry was a surprise for the whole crew. Lob being allowed in public after three years of incessant misbehavior was a surprise for anyone who knows him. Not all the surprises got included in the main Journal, however, so I have gathered them up and stuck them here in the Epilogue.
The first surprise were the fish flies (also called May flies or annoying, yet persistent little docile insect pests.) We had not seen fish flies in such quantities since 2011. For whatever random reason, they chose 2014 for their Pirate Fest Comeback Tour. In fact, they seemed to be trying to make up for having missed us in 2012 and 13. You couldn't walk through any grassy area without winding up with dozens of them attached to your clothing. This particularly freaked out Clare Borrelli of the Harlot's Virtue Pirate Crew. (This confused me. Clare is supposed to be an animal person, but her concern doesn't seem to extend to the insect world. She couldn't stand having one on her skin and would jump around and holler in the most amusing fashion when one did.)
Photo: Jessica Bagley
Mary Surprises Mission By Sneaking Up on Him
The appearance of Mary Diamond was a surprise for me. While I hadn't been paying extensive attention to what was going on amongst the crew in the weeks leading up to the Put-in-Bay Pirate Fest, I did learn that Cheeky Actress had to forgo the trip because of a death in her family. The caused me concern because she and Mary always traveled to the event together. So I asked Michael two days before the event if Mary was coming and he said he didn't know and I should ask her. Which I did. No response.
I was starting to fear that this would be another time when the person I had had Trudi make a stuffed animal clothed in their likeness would not 
Photo: Jessica Bagley
Mary Surprising Mission 2
be present at the event where I was going to present it. (Trudi had specifically asked me to take photos of Mary's reaction to the gift. So, on top of everything else, I felt like I was letting her down because I know these things are a tremendous amount of work.) On top of all that, not having Mary at the event would diminish it for me.
I was among the first group scheduled to take the ferry across with Michael Bagley. I showed him Mary Bear and told him there was probably no reason to bring it over since it did not appear that Mary was going to be there to receive the rabbit. Now Michael had known all along that Mary was coming, but he had been sworn to secrecy for some reason. (Why? I honestly don't know. You people and your little surprises...)
This knowledge put Michael in a bad position - if I left Mary Bear locked in my truck on the mainland for the weekend, she couldn't be presented after the surprise of Mary's arrival had been sprung on me. So he advised me to bring her along so Mary was "there in spirit." (For some reason, I completely fell for this line of reasoning. Usually I am a bit more savvy than that...)
There was also an "Almost Winner" surprise for Shannon Gallatin. See Shannon had won second place in the Pirate Fest Adult Costume Contest in 2011, third place in 2012 and I believe he won second again in 2013. I am pretty sure I remember him being promised a free trip back to Put-in-Bay when he won in 2011, but to date Shannon had never received a single thing. Ty Winchester decided to make it up to Shannon by surprising him with a second banana prize package which included a cardboard treasure chest full of goodies, an event T-Shirt and a nice poster of the Niagara docked in Put-in-Bay created by a local photographer. So that was a nice surprise. (Certainly better than the fish flies.)
 Photo: Mission Ty Gives Shannon a Cardboard Treasure Chest |
 Photo: Mission Shannon & the Event T-Shirt |
 Photo: Mission Shannon's Poster of the Niagara in Port |
While they were bringing reenactors up on stage, Ty called on Michael Bagley. Ty then made a lovely speech about Michael's hard work in organizing the pirates for this event. He started by explaining how Michael had come out to the first Put-in-Bay Pirate Fest in 2010 to see what it looked like. As Ty reports, Michael said to him, "We can do better." Ty then shared how much he and Jessica had done to make the event what it was, bringing increasing numbers of reenactors out and helping to make it into the family-friendly event it is now as well as the second most popular weekend on the island. (The first is Christmas in July, apparently.)
By way of appreciation, Ty gave Michael an event T-shirt and then presented him with an award that proclaimed that the next event - Put-in-Bay Pirate Fest 6 - would be called "Bagley's Bounty." (Jessica told me that Ty had originally wanted to call it "Bagley's Booty" but she put the kibosh on that one for some reason.) So we can be reasonably sure Michael will be around for next year's event. (Although, if it were me, I'd be a little self-conscious to have everyone running around with T-shirts with my name on them all weekend.)
 Photo: Mission Ty Praising Michael's Efforts |
 Photo: Mission Michael Receiving an Event T-Shirt |
 Photo: Mission Ty With the "Bagley's Bounty" Declaration |
There were a couple of staged photo-ops this year that came out nice. (Well, one came out nice and the other came out not so nice, albeit appropriately so.)
The first was the merry-go-round shots. Several folks managed to finagle their way onto the merry-go-round last year so they could pose for photos, some of which appeared in the 2013 Surgeon's Journal. The Chamber of Commerce seems to have liked the results because this year they actually arranged for us to ride the merry-go-round so that they could take photos. So I am including some of the images here because... Pirates! On a merry-go-round! How cool is that?
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Tim Clark (Fish!) & Sarah Miller |
 Photo: Mission's Camera Mission Plying the Veterinary Trade |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Shannon & Jeremy Nichols |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Darin Fisher - Triumphant |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Jennie and Mark Gist. (Bet Jennie chose the dog on purpose.) |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Dan Needham Falling Off A Horse |
Photo: Abhik's Camera
Mission Trepanning Abhik With Vinnie Mendicino Assisting
The second photo op was of some mock surgical stuff. Staged surgical photos are nice to have when I write
my serious surgical articles. (For those who aren't aware, I also write procedural articles on period tools and surgery. People either seem to read
Photo: Abhik's Camera
Mission Bandaging Abhik
these silly Journals or those serious research articles, but rarely both. In my mind they are connected.) (Counseling has been recommended to me.)
Because these photos are so useful, you'd think I'd be ready and willing to do them when Abhik appeared at my table on Sunday afternoon and wanted to do this. I guess he caught me off guard, because I wasn't quite sure which surgeries to do. So we used some of the standard tools. He later told me that anytime I wanted to do mock surgery images, he would be happy to pose. As he put it, "I'm up for anything, even painful and lasting stuff, just nothing that's truly permanent." Whoa! Even I'm not that brave.
 Photo: Abhik's Camera Darin Fisher & Vinnie Mendicino Help Mission Amputate Abhik's Arm |
 Photo: Mission's Camera An Action Shot of the Amputation of Abhik's Arm |
Let's talk about pop culture a bit, since it is an integral part of these Journals. If you scroll down, you will find some photos of Richard Conroy which were taken by Jessica Bagley on the Niagara. In the first photo, Richard looks very serious, while in the second he is smiling. Now, I wasn't there, but I can just hear Jessica saying to Richard,
Seriously Cool. (But Only if You're Clint)
"Smile, darn ya'!" Naturally this reminds me of the end number from the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit? which I am including here to make sure that 1) I have tied this into pop culture and 2) there is some kind of Warner Brother's Cartoon reference in this Journal. (I believe there's one in every Journal. Feel free to prove me wrong. And while you're doing that, let me know if you see any typos.)
Now, there is a greater point here to be made, one that I learned from my mom's hairdresser (of all people) when I was a Junior in high school. At the time, I was a fan of cinema, gobbling up things like spaghetti westerns, samurai flicks and spy movies. From these, I learned that to be cool you had to be stoic and serious, particularly when being filmed. So I was stoic and serious.
This changed after that visit to my mom's hairdresser (whose name I don't remember). I was getting my hair cut for a school dance or something and when she got done, I looked in the mirror and pulled my best Clint Eastwood grimace out to make sure I was still cool. "You should smile. You have a nice smile. Girls like that."
Somehow this advice took root. I tentatively tried the smiling thing and, to my astonishment, my mom's hairdresser was right! I had a great time my senior year smiling and learning to take a more humorous look at myself.
See, I figure Hollywood, being what it was, had created the stoic character because they knew that suave earthy spies, morally ambiguous cowboys and curt edgy samurais had to look the part. However, I determined that while Connery, Eastwood, Mifune and company can do it and appeal to the girls, it doesn't work because they are stoic, it works in spite of that. We regular-looking guys lose our thin edge by not smiling. This allows subpar-looking Hollywood writers, directors and production managers to grin like idiots and get all the girls who are tired of the regular guys scowling. (Well, that's my theory anyhow.)
 Photo: Jessica Bagley Richard Conroy Serious |
 Photo: Jessica Bagley Richard Conroy Smiling |
 Photo: The Imagineers of Disney Roger Rabbit Cast Singing "Smile, Darn Ya'" (Note: Bugs Bunny) |
While we're talking about pop culture, (we were, honest) it's time for a Pop Culture Reference Quiz! See, I embed all these pop-culture references in the Journal, usually because they amuse me. While amusing myself is fun, I also want to be able to share this ability with you all and pretend I have a valuable skill. (I do not.) Thus, the pop culture quiz! To play, you basically click on the image and you will be magically transported into a new window will you were that scene (or something very much related) was used in the text by yours truly.
 Jack Explaining the Opportune Moment |
 Jack and Elwood Enjoying Fine Dining |
 "...try, try again Mr. Kidd!" |
 "And that's how you want to live your life, is it?" |
 Unprepared and Unawares Indeed! |
 "Windgardium Laviosa!" |
This brings us to the Other Pictures category which is a category containing... other pictures. (OK, so that's not my most artistic writing. I'm almost finished with this thing, what do you want?)
Peter Monomy Painting (1730)
Mission Posing (2014)
First up we have a picture I wanted to pose for to put up against a painting from 1730. I found the 1730 image while writing my most recent article on the Patrick Hand Original Planter's Hat. I was looking for hats similar to the planter's hat and I found something better: an outfit that was very much like my own, including the blue shirt. This detail was in Peter Monomy's painting An English Royal Yacht Standing Offshore in a Calm.
Oddly enough, I didn't even notice it until I had put the image into my article - I was focused on two other chaps in a boat not seen in this detail. Once I saw this guy, I laughed out loud and decided to end the article with a comparison. That's when it occurred to me to pose for a mirror image, which you see at right. Unfortunately, I don't have brown socks, but I think it gets the point across for now. (I'm on on the lookout for medium brown socks now.)
Speaking of fashion, let's speak of fashion. First off, we have me lacing Mary Diamond's stays. Now, I have unlaced stays (in the most gentlemanly fashion - no comments from the peanut gallery) and I have laced them and I must say that lacing them is a big pain in the neck. The second image of of Becci Rollhaus' new leather corset, custom-made by our own Trish of Shananigen's in Leather. Becci was most pleased with them. Our last fashion statement is a practical one - Michael Colosimo with a lantern mounted to the peak of his tricorn. That way he doesn't trip over anything on his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. On the downside, any light in the field where Site A was located during the night attracts 5000 fish flies to the person holding it, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea.
 Photo: Mission's Camera Mission Lacing Mary Diamond's Corset |
 Photo: Tilted Pirate Photography Becci in Her New Trish-Made Corset |
 Photo: Jessica Bagley Michael Colosimo's Hat With Lantern |
Usually there are a lot of recip photos at this event (recip photos are where pirates will only pose for a photo with tourists provided they will take a photo with one of our cameras by way of payment. Recip = reciprocity.) There were actually several opportunities for such, but I was being shy this year. What we lost in quantity, we made up for in sheer bulk of numbers. (But not necessarily quality.)
 Two Girls Trying to Make This Lot Look Better (Well, Except Clare) |
 Two Other Girls Failing to Make This Lot Look Better |
Next are two fairly random pictures. (Look at me talking as if the whole Journal isn't sort of random...) The first is of the (actually Scottish) Scottish pirate who won third place in the Adult Costume Contest by wearing tartan and such. I wanted to make sure you all got a chance to see that. The second is of Michael Colosimo with the words 'Furious Pooch' and 'Angry Puppy' written on the dirt of his back windshield by Michael Bagley. Michael B. wrote that there because Michael was channeling his inner M.A. d'Dogge by standing on his car roof on the ferry and getting everyone to hold their hands up as if we were taking over the ferry.
 Mary and the Scottish Pirate. (Look at that material.) |
 Michael as the Furious Pooch |
Last but not least is an image taken after the Sunday battle with event organizer Ty Winchester. I'd have put a really funny end joke photo here, but I couldn't find a good one. So you get a sappy sentimentalish group photo instead.
 Photo: Jessica Bagley - The Sunday Battle Crew and Ty. (No, I'm not going to name everyone. Go see the Niagara Group Photo for that.) |