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Pirate Fest, June 2011 - Put-in-Bay, OH
Photo: Mission
Now you know why parrots were
so popular with pirates
Chapter 6th. Of Saturday afternoon and evening and the things that took place around about then. Among other things included the rather elaborate costume contest and how the crew was surprised...more by the selection of judges than the winner; dinner; the evening festivities which were considerably more muted than Friday night and other oddments that were stored in the 'Saturday picture folder.
The parade in the previous chapter ended at the site of the contest. If it was meant to draw a crowd, it seems
Photo: Mission
A wagon ship in the crowd..
to have worked as you can see in the photo at right. I would estimate that there were at least a hundred or so people. (This is not based on any real facts, I'm completely guessing here. There were quite a few people there, though.)
Of course, the real shocker of this contest wasn't the contest itself (although there were certainly some interesting things going on there as you will soon discover.) No, the real shocking development was that last year's winner, our own M.A. d'Dogge, was not only not allowed to be in the contest this year, he had been made a contest judge! Can you imagine how many distilled spirits in making that sort of decision? Still, Mr. d'Dogge can pretend to ponder with the best of them as you can see in the photo below left.
 Photo: Mission Costume Contest judges observe and consider the contestants - while death hovers. |
 Photo: Mission Do you really want this man as your judge?. |
Photo: Mission.
pirate & parrot 1 
Photo: Mission
pirate & parrot 2
The Costume Contest itself had 32 entries. Now don't go worrying, I am not going to put photos of all of them in the Journal. The truth is, I don't remember the names of any of them except those from our group... OK, so I only remember some of those from our group. At any rate, I'm just going to put photos of 1) the goofy ones 2) the ones I can think of funny names for 3) a woman who said very nice things when she visited my surgeon's display and 4) the parrot. I actually ran into the parrot and pirate duo earlier in the day. I knew I had to take a photo of them because I thought it was so clever. Plus the parrot makes for good Journal photos. The pirate actually walked up to the stage with her on his shoulders, managing to climb onto and get off of the stage with her remaining there. I doubt I could have done that - the parrot would have been beak-planted into the ground.
You can see some of the others below being interviewed by Ty. We begin with the girl carrying an inflatable pirate doll around with her. We'll call him Mr. Man. I don't exactly recall her comments about Mr. Man, but you can probably imagine the direction they ran in. Still, many sailors may not have been able to swim during the Golden Age of Piracy, so if she'd gone overboard it may have been convenient for her to be able to climb atop Mr. Man and...oh, never mind. Then there was Captain Santa who brought his flag-bearer elf with him. Next is the friendly woman who said very complimentary things about your surgeon's instrument collection. I was naturally rooting for her. After that is the pirate Dude. He definitely seemed to be in the Pirate Fest Festivities spirit. (By which I mean he had visited the local establishments. In fact, I suspect he bought his entire outfit from local vendors. Or perhaps from garage sales) The last photo below is of the Power Puff Pink Pirate Brigade. Ty asked the woman if she wanted to bring her daughters up, but only one of the three were brave (or foolish) enough to actually speak when Ty questioned her.
 Photo: Mission He's a life preserver. |
 Photo: Mission Captain Santa |
 Photo: Mission A wonderful woman |
 Photo: Mission The Dude abides |
 Photo: Mission Pink Pirate Brigade |
Among the other entrants were a man who got up on the stage and, when asked his name, explained that he was 88 years old. I guess that sort of says it all. He and his granddaughter had been standing in front of me before he was called. She kept encouraging him and telling him he would do fine. (Clearly she wanted that trip to the Cayman Islands that was for first prize.) A late entrant was the 2009 winner, the Captain Jack imitator. He was as flamboyant as last year (and this is presumably what got him the gold ring in 2009.) His girlfriend, whom I'll just refer to as Elizabeth also got in under the wire. Last, but certainly not least in this crowd, was the skeleton pirate. You know what a sucker I am for skeletons, so I started rooting for him too. Maybe even more than for the lady who said nice things about my surgical display. (It was a tough decision to make.) He and his girlfriend (who wasn't dressed as a skeleton so she doesn't get Journal space) were both promoting a haunted attraction and costume store in Columbus. It may have been called the Scare-a-torium, but since I didn't write it down, I'm just guessing. Of course, our favorite Columbus haunted attraction is the HAuNtED SHiP (it's written that way on purpose) which takes place aboard the Santa Maria the weekend before Halloween.
 Photo: Mission He's only 88 and a half years old |
 Photo: Mission Captain Jack admires his hat |
 Photo: Mission The lovely Elizabeth (or not) |
 Photo: Mission The skeleton pirate |
Photo: Thatchers
A shocking red-pink turn by Ty
We now come to the part of costume contest that featured folks from our group. This is fortunate for all you readers because other people took lots of pictures of this. As you may have noticed, my photos of the costume contest could be called a lot of things, but 'good' really isn't one of them. Neither are 'sharp', 'well-lit' or 'well-planned.' This is because my organizing concept for photography is "get it over with so I can see what's going on for my story.' Aperture? Focus? A pirate surgeon needs not these things. I do try to take reasonable photos, but I don't think about it overmuch. In places like the stage in DeRivera Park, this becomes very obvious.
We start with our own Shannon (at right). Shannon gave a nice in-character interview most of which I've forgotten. If you're like me, the first thing you'll probably notice in this photo isn't Shannon - it's Ty's pirate garb.
Photo: Thatchers
Mary Diamond showing from whence she hails
I shudder to think what might have happened to the poor guy during the Golden Age of Piracy if he had showed up on the ship wearing that.
A number of women from our group entered in the contest. Among them were Mary Diamond who brought a map with her so that she could explain where she was from. (So long as she didn't say anything about 'Canadia,' I was good with this prop.) Ty commented that her outfit reminded him of Mary Poppins, which I thought sort of funny. Although, in her defense, it is a period traveling outfit, which would actually be similar to what Mary Poppins wore when traveling to the house (if her story were set 200 years prior.)
Carol entered the contest, which impressed me. (Below left.) Carol is a little quiet like me when it comes to this sort of stuff and I wouldn't have guessed she'd have plunged in and joined a thing like this. If I had to guess, I'd say she was probably pressed into Costume Contest service by Hurricane Connie. As you can see in the picture below center left, Connie is the sort of woman who does things her way. And sometimes you also get to do things her way. I also stuck Richard in amongst the women, mostly because Richard likes to being amongst woman. Well, that and his photo fit nicely into the row of photos. Last in the photos is Lisa/Cheeky Actress with her lovely smile and her not-so-shiny bracelets. I missed her presentation, but knowing Cheeky it was the sort of thing that could give M.A. d'Dogge a run for his costume-entry money.
 Photo: Thatchers Carol smiles nervously |
 Photo: Mission Hurricane Connie |
 Photo: Mission Richard doffing his chapeau |
 Photo: Thatchers Our charming & lovely Lisa |
Photo: Thatchers
The crew of the Blitzen: Jay Babcock, Ed Rembert, Thomas
Alleman, announcer Ty and Sam Stein
In addition to Shannon and Richard, there were a number of other guys in the contest from our group. We begin with the Blitzen crew. In a move that I think may have gotten them disqualified from any chance of winning, Jay, Ed and Sam joined Thomas Alleman on the stage when his number was called. They all claimed to be members of the crew of the Blitzen, something they had never mentioned to the rest of us. When asked why their ship was called the Blizten.Jay explained that that they had already had ships with the other names. "You know, Dasher and Dancer and Donner..." If the group takeover of Thomas' slot didn't kill them, I suspect that joke may have.
After their group debut, Jay and Sam both re-appeared as individual contestants. Jay claimed he had no idea what the Blitzen was (which was probably a good choice, although I think it was too late.) Sam was going for an earlier period outift, so he had donned what looked to me like a ridge-backed salad bowl and pumpkin pants for his turn on the stage. You can see him making excuses for his baggy pumpkin pants below center right. Mark Gist also got up on the stage and explained clothing, explaining particularly about the true types of clothing Golden Age pirates wore. I think Mark sensed that this confused Ty, so he just threatened him with his pistol as you see below right.
 Photo: Thatchers Jay Babcock taken aback by a question. (Blitzen? Never heard of it, sir!) |
 Photo: Mission Sam being questioned about his colander hat. |
 Photo: Sam Sam making excuses |
 Photo: Mission Mark Gist threatens Ty. (This may NOT be the way to win...) |
Photo: Mission
The children's costume contest. I'm not sure
what the red arrow is pointing at. It may be a
muppet. Or a shambling mound. Hard to say.
After all the contestants had been up, there was an intermission in the adult contest. A children's costume contest was started at this point, which was cute. When called, several costumed kids trooped up to the stage. Included were two charming wagons converted into sail boats, the Pink Pirate Brigade and a hyper-kinetic lad who didn't seem to be up there so much to show off his costume as to sword-fight with anyone who was willing to stand in front of him for more than a few seconds.
As I have noted previously, the people on Put-in-Bay are as interesting to me as I am to them. Maybe more so. Rather than watch the children's contest, I thought I'd wander
Photo: Mission
Georgia drawing at the costume contest.
off and watch what was going on in the crowd. We start with Georgia, who had brought her drawing pad over and was continuing to work on her mermaid drawing during the contest.
While she was drawing, Thomas Alleman decided to launch a carefully crafted take-down plan (Georgia is his girlfriend. Attacking his girlfriend makes as much sense to me as threatening the costume judge with your pistol, but then I can't even claim to begin to understand romance.) As you can see below left, Thomas is crouched on his haunches, chatting with Georgia amicably when he suddenly leaps up and attacks her, pinning her to the ground. Even though I photographed this, I can't say what was going on. I can tell you what it looks like to me. I suspect I may be wrong, however, because you'll notice that the woman in pink holding a child. She seems to think this is perfectly fine entertainment for her offspring.
 Photo: Mission Thomas lying in wait for Georgia |
 Photo: Mission With a sudden springing jump... |
 Photo: Mission ...he pins her for two points. |
Photo: Mission
Woman talking to a pirate...
Photo: Mission
...in a very animated way. Something else I saw was a woman talking with a guy dressed in a pirate costume off to the side of the contest. I have the vague impression these folks were locals or at least regular visitors to the island, although I can't say why. What fascinated me was the body language here.
This woman was one of the most animated speakers I have ever seen. I could not hear these people - from the blurriness of the photos, you'll probably realize that I was using my zoom lens - and yet I somehow felt a part of this conversation. I didn't know the topic, obviously, but I felt like I knew how it was going. See what I mean? And you're only getting a glimpse of this! She brushed her hair, leaned in and out, threw her arms in the air and so forth at least five or six times in period of their five minute discussion. They say body language makes up about two-thirds of a conversation. Based on that, I suspect this woman is one heckuva communicator.
 Photo: Mission No, really?! |
 Photo: Mission You don't say. |
 Photo: Mission That is funny... |
 Photo: Mission But it's just how things go! |
Photo: Thatchers
The contest finalists waiting
We now return to the costume contest, already in progress. I had actually gone over to the site for a bit to see how Jennie was doing. I returned to the contest a bit late. Fortunately other people had taken photos of what I missed. The contest finalists are shown at left. They included Captain Santa, Lisa/Cheeky Actress, Shannon and the 88 year-old man. Since there were only three prizes, something didn't seem quite right here. Maybe they had miscounted or something. But no! As it turns out, the 88 year old man was given honorable mention. Captain Santa was awarded third prize. (I have no idea what third prize was. Perhaps a case of Hostess Cupcakes.
Photo: Elsewhere
Does anyone else remember
him? He's sorta' creepy, eh?
The popular conception of Santa is big and jolly, after all.)
This left us with two potential winners, both from our camp: Lisa/Cheeky Actress and Shannon Gallatin. One would win a trip back to Put-in-Bay and the other would win a trip to the Cayman Islands. The tension was palpable. The contestants were nervous and one of them was licking tooth black from her teeth. The announcement came... Lisa had won! She was quite excited and jumped up and down as you can see. She also kissed Shannon for reasons I cannot even imagine. (I wonder if he got tooth black on him?) Then the guy from the Cayman Islands, who comes up to Put-in-Bay to vacation, presented Lisa with some a black thing that apparently represented her free trip. Of course, you realize what this means? Lisa will be a judge at next year's contest! Can you even imagine?
 Photo: Mission A surprised cheeky wins! |
 Photo: Mission And kisses Shannon for some reason (Notice Ty!) |
 Photo: Mary Diamond The Caymans guy presents the prize |
Photo: Thatchers
Capt'n Willie Telling the kids stories
After the contest, Capt'n Willie took the stage to present his "One World, Many Stories" to the kids. While this once again had great potential to qualify as something cute, it's
Photo: Mission
What could the boys be up to?
not the sort of high-quality narrative you expect from your surgeon. (Well, maybe 'high quality' is the wrong descriptor, but I wasn't about to sit there and listen to kids stories just so you could get some shots of adorable moppets. No sir.. No offence to Capt'n Willie, of course.)
I went back to the campsite to see what was going on and if anyone who wanted to hear about 17th/18th century medical tools and procedures. When I got there, I found the boys huddled around the edge of the Green Black Sheep. 'Now what could this be about?' I wondered to myself. As you can see below left, Michael, Thomas, Ed and Jay were all playing at dice. How piratey! I almost used one of these photos in the title graphic, but decided that the big, stupid grin on my face showed up a little better. Several other curious things going on as you can see below.
 Photo: Mission The boys do what sailors have always done - gamble. (Boat-owner Mark wondered how the seat board got there.) |
 Photo: Trish Shannon roasts a marshmallow on his hook. |
 Photo: Mission Mark out walking his cannon. I think Kate Bagley has the cannon-scooper. |
The cannon barge went out again on Saturday evening; Mark Gist was eager to go and go he did as you can see at left. While I didn't actually witness the barge visually,
Photo: Trish
Mark Gist on the Cannon Barge
I definitely witnessed it aurally. From the volume of the noise,
Photo: Trish
The Mosquito and its crew
it appeared that Bob Gillmor had decided, based on the noise generated by yesterday's double charges, that more charges was definitely better. He may have been using three on Saturday for all I know.
Trish Gallatin got some nice photos of the Saturday barge trip, most of which seem to me to be better than the ones I got on Friday, so I thought I'd better stick them in here. Her shot of the Mosquito (right) is a marked improvement over mine. (For example, using Trish's picture I noticed the boat actually has 'Iron Maiden' hand lettered on it, although that doesn't sound like a very good ship name to me. I'm going to continue to call it the Mosquito.)
I don't know about Saturday, but the two guys you see manning the Mosquito appeared to love the idea that the cannon fire would somehow pitch them into the water. As a result one or the other of them dove into the water headlong after we fired near them from the cannon barge. I thought about explaining what it would actually look like if they had been hit by real cannon fire, but why spoil their (period inaccurate) fun?
Even while all this was going on,
Photo: Mission
You can tell evening is here when girls
show up in short skirts & buckets on their head
Photo: MIssion
Usually alcohol goes on the spot a syringe
goes in, not in the syringe
Kate was busy putting the finishing touches on dinner back at the display site. You could tell evening was approaching by the people who were showing up. Most of them wanted photos of us with them and had little interest for period explanations. Back in my wild youth (hah), I went to Daytona Beach during Spring Break. A female friend had advised me to 'lay out in the sun all day, get up, shower, grab a bite and go out drinking and dancing all night. Then do it all again the next day." (She clearly didn't know me very well. I did none of those things) On Put-in-Bay, the recipe seem to be a little different. "Sleep until three or four, get up, shower and go find somewhere that will sell you a bucket that you can put on your head and a giant alcohol-delivering syringe that you can carry around with you until you forget it in some bar."
Photo: Mission
George and Mission: The Transporters
Connie insisted I photograph the giant plastic alcohol-delivering syringe and told me I needed to get one for my surgical gear. It does sort of remind you of the Clyster Syringe, doesn't it? I wonder what those girls in the photo above would have thought of their giant syringe if I had explained that to them.) However, since your surgeon had had more than enough alcohol the previous night, he was in no mood for more whether it came in a giant plastic syringe or not.
After dinner, everyone decided they wanted to get a shower. Our friend and mentor Ty had gotten everyone camping free passes to the public showers. He really takes care of us. I didn't need a free pass, because I had my own community shower at the Park Hotel, but I know this was a blessed relief for those who were camping. Since I didn't need the shower, I spent my time hanging around with George who ferried people from the camp to the showers in back in the golf cart. Soon everyone was clean and ready. The night was ahead of us.
Photo: Mission
Our new best friend with Lisa. Note her expression.
Those who had taken showers (plus George and I, who hadn't) were supposed to rendezvous with the rest of the crew who had skipped showers in favor of going over to the Pirate's Ball. This happened to be across the street from our display site, so M.A. d'Dogge and some of the others had gone directly over there after eating dinner to join the festivities.
On one of our trips back and forth to ferry the crew, we also picked up a hitchhiker who had attached himself to our group: Matt. Matt had staggered happily (by which I definitely mean 'quite drunkenly') into our campsite and planted himself under the Thatcher's canvas fly. When he saw Lisa get into the golf cart while and save a space for Mary Diamond, he decided such a space must be for him so clambered in. We tried to explain to Matt that he was taking someone's spot, but Matt proved to be all mouth and no ears.
Photo: Mission
The Boathouse. See the cool boat on the sign?
On the way over to town, Matt shared his philosophy on life, which he claimed to have been practising for eight years. "I enjoy everything I do. I don't do anything that I don't enjoy." (By which he must have at least partially meant drinking, because this boy was blotto.) When I asked him how old he was, he said, "Twenty-two." By my reckoning, he's been living with that operating principle since he was 14. It sounds like a good example of the old phrase "a short life and a merry one." We apparently weren't quite enough fun for him, because he wandered off when we arrived in town.
By the time we arrived at The Boathouse, our crew had been and gone. It looked like a nice place, but it was packed, hot and noisy when we got there. Thank God we were wearing our pirate togs, because we were able to get in for free and skate right back out when we couldn't find our crew.
Outside, the fireworks were going on. (What do you mean, "What fireworks?" The ones in the pictures of down there. I don't know what they were for or anything. They were just fireworks.) Mary Diamond and I stopped to take photos of them. You'll note how much better hers are than mine. Some day I really must learn how to take good photos. After that ended, we all headed directly for the other side of town as we always do - right for Hooligans.
 Photo: Mission Firework photographed by me |
 Photo: Mary Diamond Firework photographed by Mary |
 Photo: Mary Diamond Firework photographed by Jerry Bruckheimer (note the lamp) |
On arriving at Hooligans, we found our now 
Photo: C. Jonzi
Gossamer in high tops
dear friends the Bastard Bearded Irishmen performing on stage. The lead singer and one of the band members had come over to our display this afternoon on their way to pick up the lead singer's son and wife (they were coming into town for the day.) The band members were very friendly and even interested in what we were doing. The asked us some good questions and said nice things about the setup.
Being rather sober this evening, I happened to notice their shoes. If you look at the photos below, you may notice them too. For some reason the footwear choices that had made seemed a trifle odd to me given their band's name. (I'll bet you thought I noticed more normal things when I was sober. Ha ha! Being tipsy makes me more normal. Well... OK, as you have already seen, that is also a complete lie. But I digress...) I was particularly fascinated with the several pairs of high tops the band favored because this somehow reminded me of Gossamer the monster. (The shoes, not the band.) They are a fun group and we enjoyed hanging around with them as you can see.
 Photo: Mission The Bastard Bearded Irishmen and some of their shoes |
 Photo: Mission The same thing, only with pink mood lighting. |
Several of our group settled inside to stay, getting drinks and hanging around the stage again like we had the previous night. You'll note that our period garb attracted a coterie of wanna-bes. Lisa was in rare form on Saturday evening playing Lillian Mae McKinney, her courtesan character. (From the pictures below, you can probably guess what that means.) She met some guy who sort of looked like Tom Cruise, only younger and goofier. We'll call him "Blues" for no reason other than it rhymes and I think "Blues Cruise" is funny. (OK, it is stupid, but I like it. Blues Cruise. Blues Cruise. Ha ha ha!) Lisa had also brought a little metal cup with her for the Saturday night celebrations. She would occasionally place this in her cleavage and pop coins into, presumably to get guys like Blues Cruise to try and retrieve them with his mouth. At least I think that's what's going on in that last photo below. Even if it's not, I don't want to know any more.
 Photo: Mary Diamond The inside crew with a bunch of posers |
 Photo: Mary Diamond Lisa and 'Blues' Cruise |
 Photo: Mary Diamond Blues is apparently naughty |
Since Hooligans proved to be hot, noisy and crowded like the Boathouse, another group of us decided to hang out on the outside porch. There I spotted a flashing sign that I decided to film. Yes, another Surgeon's Journal first! I originally included that bit of film to help give you a feel for what it must have been like on Saturday night if you were at Hooligans with us, but YouTube now says it's private and I can't look at my own video. Oh well. It looded sort of like if you had been at Hooligans on Saturday night with us and had gone into a catatonic state on the porch leaving you staring vacantly at a flashing sign down the street.
There were a lot of insects hanging around that flashing light. We had to share our porch space with the fish flies. There weren't a lot of them on the porch because most of them were clustering around any light they could happen to find. It was only those fish flies who had tired of the rat (or fish fly) race that were hanging with us. As a result, if you wanted to sit down on the porch, you had to either brush off the flies who stayed away from the lights or squash a dozen or so of them.
Photo: C. Jonzi
Put-in-Bay on Saturday Night. Eerie, isn't it?
The flies were far surpassing any efforts they had put forth up until now. The lights seemed to excite them quite a bit. Usually fish flies are the most useless, sitting-around insect you have ever seen. I guess when night falls and the neon lights come on - it's party time! (See, they really are the perfect Put-in-Bay insects.)
The real story of the night-time fish flies became apparent when Michael, Kate and I had decided we'd had enough fun and headed back through town towards home. The entire street was dark. Yes, the main drag of Put-in-Bay, normally awash in garish, lurid lights featuring neon palm trees (and a monkey) were turned off on a Saturday Night! The Fish Flies had won the evening! (It's a good thing their lifespan is only about 24 hours. Imagine all the financial damage they would otherwise cause to the electric companies who supplied Put-in-Bay!) We also discovered that when you have thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, of fish flies on the road and the cars run them over they sound sort of like popcorn being popped. So with that lovely thought, we come to the end of this chapter.