(Photo: Poppa Ratsy) Shipboard, the evening officially began with a ceremonial firing of Shannon's cannons. (I tell ya', I just can't get enough of that one. Shannon's cannons, Shannon's cannons, Shannon's cannons). As I noted on the previous page, Shannon (looking dapper in his Persian rug in the rigging at right) has a bunch of firecracker firing mini-cannons which he brings to events. Like the mini-mortar, below left. Well, it's either a mini-mortar or someone has gone to a lot of trouble to create a giant hand to fool everyone. He fires them for many reasons: birthdays, to salute the sunset, or to celebrate the fact that he has a bunch of mini-cannons. Saturday evening, he lined them up on the ship's rail rail to give a seven gun salute (below right.) Each of the cannons was to be lit by a tiny cannon crew of mice in period correct outfits hand (sewn by Michael Bagley, of course), following proper tiny cannon firing procedures like those used when I was on a cannon crew. Then someone released the ship's cat and that plan went all to hell. So Shannon just lit them with a cigarette lighter. The blowback on two of them was enough to send the little things careening off the rail onto the deck. It was all very exciting and the perfect start for a Saturday night on the Santa Maria.

(Photo: Rosabella)

(Photo: Mission)

(Photo: Trish) With the official mini-cannon ceremony completed, people started breaking out the rum. As I've noted from the very beginning in these journals, it's not a proper pirate re-enactment activity unless there's rum available. Michael had even hung on to a bottle of Pirates Choice Molasses Flavored rum from Pirates in Paradise last year. Pirates Choice has been the official unofficial rum of the Surgeon's Journals since the Blackbeard Festival in Hampton, Virginia. I'm pretty sure I couldn't hang on to a bottle of that for six months, so kudos to Michael for bringing it forth and sharing. Trish also broke out two splendid fruit wines from Heritage Wine Cellars: Almonderia and Dark Cherry. They had to be tasted to be believed.

Of course, as soon as the alcohol was out, so was Lob - in fact he was right in the middle of things (at left). You haven't seen anything until you've seen a drunk stuffed monkey. Well, maybe you have, but I haven't.) Incidentally, Lob had his own Facebook page, in case your need for poop-flinging jokes wasn't fulfilled. (And who's has?)

It was somewhere about this time that Ivan Henry, Chris and your author decided to head out in search of nightlife in the fair city of Columbus. However, they will have to wait for their bit of narrative because most of the pirate coterie stayed on the ship and partied with Lob, who by now was telling naughty stories about Lobette. (Whatever became of her anyway? One minute she arrives on the Santa Maria and Lob is nattering on about marrying her on his Facebook page and the next she's up and gone. I mean, what gives?) Lob aside, Nathanael Logsdon broke out his acoustic guitar and Mark Gist got out his fiddle and the pair apparently played a duet ( below.) I am sorry I missed it.

Count d'Booty)

(Photo: Count d'Booty)

Some of the pirates couldn't resist leaving the ship to heed the siren's call (below.) As you can clearly see from their eyes in the photos below, all of these young escapees from the undead prom are possessed and on the prowl for unwitting sailors. Just like the tails of old, they call to the sailors on the ship to get them to sail into their rocks and crash. Then they can make heaps of corpses in their flowery meadows. (Well that's what I read that they do.) Our sailors were apparently not very discerning when it came to sirens and they joined right in, posing for photos and even giving them their coats and weapons.

(Photo: Count d'Booty)

(Photo: Count d'Booty)

(Photo: Count d'Booty)

('Borrowed' from a Spiritual Site )
('Borrowed' from a Wedding Site.) Now, as I keep mentioning, Ivan Henry, Chris and I left to wander Columbus in search of a bar. Actually, they already picked a bar near their hotel called the Elevator (or, more formally, Elevator Brewery and Draught Haus, although I don't recall seeing their full name spelled out). So we headed in that direction. On the way, I started singing the song "Country Roads" which Chris and Ivan picked up not only immediately, but loudly. They knew all the words because, as Ivan explained to me, it was the national anthem of West Virginia. He also said John Denver was a great underrated artist, although I seem to recall him being pretty popular in his day. He appears to have had very curious taste in clothing. (He also sort of reminds me of the bad caricatures of Japanese soldiers used in cartoon propaganda in the US during WWII. Well, except for the shirt, of course. But I digress again...)

(Photo: Elevator Brewery & Draught Haus, Inc, Pat. Pend) Now, Mr. Henry claimed he had been here before (which I don't doubt), but he must have been there when it was not quite so crowded. The wee slip of a girl at the lectern in the doorway officiously informed us that there was no table. We said that was ok, we'd take a bathroom for 3 and trooped past her in the direction of the rest room.

After completing that task (and repeatedly answering the question " Why are you dressed like that?" with a variety of wry responses, none of which I recall), we headed back to the officious slip of a girl at the lectern. Ivan asked if we could sit a little bar table off to the side, which she allowed. Then two people got a table leaving the stools closest to you in the pic (at right) free, which Ivan an Chris slid over and took. This left me by my lonesome at the little bar table off to the side (which cannot be seen in this photo. Sorry.) I invited the officious slip of a girl to sit with me, but she said she wasn't allowed. (A real rule follower, this one.) Ivan suggested I drag my chair over to the corner of the bar near he and Chris, which she would allow, so I did that.

(Photo: Mission) It wasn't long before the ubiquitous Columbus bachelorette parties started gathering 'round. Goofy guys in pirate costumes seem to appeal to them. We posed for some more reciprocal pics. Ivan asked some of the girls if I looked like Bill Murray and some of them said that I did. "Young or old Bill?" I asked. "Young Bill," replied that girl standing next to me (left), "In a good way." I probably should have asked her to marry me. (I did let her wear my hat.)

Speaking of me and the young ladies, there was lots of fascination and indirect questions from various people this weekend about Shay of the Keys using my shower at Searle's and what had transpired there that I didn't explain in the Journal. While I'm sorry to disappoint my audience, it went pretty much the way I described. Despite this, feel free to try and ply me with free drinks at upcoming events to try to learn more. (For the record, I like single malt scotches.)

(Photo: Courtyard by Marriot Columbus Downtown) After ordering several beers, Ivan Henry ordered plates of fatty foods, which we consumed with relish...or at least with catsup. A few beers and bachelorette party photos later, we put the Elevator behind us and rambled in the direction of their hotel to have a drink at the hotel bar. We were just in time for the closing bell so I had a shot of 12 yo. Glenfiddich. Took a sip, set it on the little black side table (like the one at right) and it promptly fell on the floor. (Ivan and Chris thought this was tremendously funny.) I recall thinking if I am so imbued with alcohol that I can't get a glass of single malt on a little table, it's best to just quit. The bar emptied and the barkeep came over to collect our glasses. Ivan Henry explained what happened to my drink and convinced her to get me another. (He's like that.) That one also fell on the floor. Examining the table, I noticed that it had a large bevel on the edge, which I must say is a damned fool thing to put on a small bar table IMHO. Taking this as a sign, we broke up the party and I stumbled back to my hotel - which I found with great alacrity.

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