Pirates in Paradise 2009 - Key West, Fl
(Photo: Jessica Bagley
Chapter 8th, 12/6 Night -Of the
challenges haunting the pub photo, dinner, why everyone should be
a vegetarian, Michael's mead, Stynky's Shite, the pub, drinking, and more drinking as well as a
cautionary note about exploring dark bathrooms.
The evening started off pretty slow. Kate Bagley took some glamour shots of me at sunset because Tony (Poppa Ratzi) had explained how to do it with her camera the previous night. Actually, the way she put it was that Tony had told her more about her camera in 10 minutes than she had figured out since she'd bought it several years ago.
(Photo: Jessica Bagley
(Photo: Jessica Bagley
We wandered down to the fort at 6pm
for the crew and pub photos. Unfortunately, no one else seemed to know
anything about this, so we decided to await dinner. It was a long await because, as
is tradition, they had other things to do first. It was also late
this year because the roast pig hadn't cooked fast
enough for the hungry pirates. So we all sat around in the fort and
chattered while we waited for Porky to catch up with the pirate's
stomachs. (Well, except for mine and Robyn's, which are vegetarian
stomachs. Although hers is much sleeker and more appealing than mine.)
Both sides of the Mercury table were waiting with empty plates and forced grins.
Photo: Mary Diamond
About five minutes before the pig was done, someone decided that it would
be a good idea to get the pub picture. This was utter madness, of course,
because it takes at least a half hour to get this shot set up. This
photo includes lots of people. We had one set of benches for people to stand on in the large
group shot, so I suggested we put the medium height people on the bench
because there were more of them than tall or short people. Then the tall
people could then stand in front medium height folks on the bench and still be shorter
than them. (Are you following this?) The upshot of all this was that I wound up on the bench which
quickly proved to be hard on my feet after a half-hour of plotting the
logistics of this photo.
Photo: Mission
On the plus side, I was standing next to Caribbean Pearl, a vivacious
young lady from Puerto Rico
whose speech rate has been clocked at 300 mph. She is a field partner with
Tiger Lee in the traveling version of his Pirate Fashions shop. She insisted I put my arm
around her and was most excited when she figured out we were positioned
directly under the skull on the banner painted
by William Red Wake and crew in 2007. She said we "were going to
make the picture." (Well, maybe she would…) However, the banner was
tilted and in the process of trying to straighten it out they managed to drop it on
our heads. Talking with Caribbean Pearl whilst under the canvas, I noted that, based
on our relative positions, we should be going steady. She
answered that I would have to get in line to go steady with her. She was a
real card
Photo: Mission
William and Paula, our cheesy heroes
During the photo set up the pig arrived and everyone not on the pub photo jumped
smartly into line. So we pubbers wound up at the back of bus, which is
really not all that surprising. I didn't even bother to get in the line it was
so long. I instead went back to the table the Mercury folks had staked out to find
William, Iron John and Paula
eating cheese. William had retrieved it from Iron John's camp before
getting shanghaied into the whole picture-taking debacle.
Paula is a charming lady from Brazil who wound up in the States after her first marriage ended. She liked it so much she decided to stay. She was lovely and soft-spoken and I was glad to have met her, especially since she sliced up all the cheese and kept feeding it to your ship's surgeon.
Photo: Mission
While we were sitting there waiting for the line to shrink, somewhere told
me that they had re-warmed the Mulligatawny soup and that I could go and get
some at any time. No line, excellent soup? You don't have to tell me twice.
Returning to the table I shared my newly received insight with the group,
who suddenly all became vegetarians. Paula, followed eventually by William
and well as me (for seconds) went over to get some. Did I mention before how good it was?
Left: QM William, showing us the real meaning of 'a dish of coffee.'
I was sitting across from Hawkins at dinner and we had a nice chat. He and his wife and her friend recently decided to make a full time career of selling authentic clothing and accouterments in their traveling shop At the Sign of the White Rose. He told me it looks very promising so far. He's an interesting guy to talk with once you get going. When you say something that is really wandering far off the PC farm (like my preference for hotels over tents), he sort of growls deep in his throat, but doesn't say anything more.
After dinner they opened the tavern up and most people quickly disappeared to enjoy the delightful conviviality contained therein. As nice at it is hanging out in the campsites with your crew, the communal area of the tavern is a great place to sit, sing, drink and mix with other people and crews.
I decided to stay under the dining tent for awhile with Micky, Kate, Mark and Jenny Gist because they had decided to remain there and chat while drinking Michael's homemade blueberry mead. Shay of the Keys appeared with her small electric organ so she could play a couple of selections that she had written during the weekend for the event. She has a truly lovely voice which eventually made you wonder if you weren't listening to a show tunes recording. Well, except that the lyrics to the songs were along the lines of "Life is a grand old cannonade..." or something like that. (That would be to the tune of Cabaret if she had actually done it instead of something infinitely more witty.)
Photo: Mission
Photo: Mission
Left: Michael: a man and his mead - a pretty good combination, if he says so himself.
Right: Shay played three tunes specially composed for the occasion. That's Crudbeard holding her music. (She said she wished her brother George were here...)
Photo: Mission
While Michael, Kate, Mark & Jenny and I were sitting there, Jill-Handed Red appeared on the next bench...
OK, she was actually there all along, but I didn't know who she was. She
had a bottle of home made wine which she shared with us. She is with the
Pyrates of the Coast and had started doing PiP in 2007 like me. Jill works
as a bank manager in mainland Florida and told me that the first thing she did when she started there was to
institute "fun" policies like allowing Halloween costumes.
Right: Jill-Handed Red opening her homemade wine. (She's shy.)
Her pub name came from a label she created for a bottle of wine. Apparently the PotC crew were making home-made wines which they gave cutesy names based on their pirate names. Her pirate name is Red Handed Jill, so the label was a play on that: Jill-Handed Red (You know, red wine). She definitely had the right humorous tilt for me. I had Kate take several shots of us, some of which I hope my mother never sees.
Boy, get a little alcohol in your ship's surgeon and who knows what will happen. (Although it's never been quite this before.) First Jill got the idea to get a photo of her kissing me. I thought it would be funny to play scared (below left), but when she looked at the camera screen, she didn't like that. So I gave the camera concupiscent instead. So now I'm drunk and I've got this idea for a gag in my head. Thus, I asked Cross to play scared while I kiss him. (This is the wrong person to ask; instead of 'scared' I got 'kewpie doll'.) On the plus side, if I ever lose my last remaining marbles and decide to run for public office, this picture will always be out there to haunt me and prevent that from happening.
Photo: Mission
|
Photo: Mission
|
Photo: Mission
|
Photo: Mission
Photo: Mission
Sometime after that Blood Thirsty Barbara (wife of
Crudbeard and keeper of
Oreo)
came and gave me a huge hug. The shocked me because I had no idea she
even knew who I was. (It's that hat.) She wears one of those
special contacts that makes her eye black, which I think is the
creepiest effects you can get with contact. When I asked about it, she
explained that the bird had done it. Oreo can really kick
up a fuss when he (or perhaps she) wants attention. I happened to be
walking by their encampment earlier when the bird scared the
heck out of me with a loud 'Caw!'
Left: Barbara and I and her scary eye. Right: Me and Crudbeard.
About this time, Michael and Kate decided to check out the tavern(below), so Jill-Handed Red and I ambled over there with them. It was just like the tavern of bygone years, lit entirely by candle and containing many rowdy pirates singing along with the song leaders on the makeshift stage. Michael actually knew all the words, so he sang along.
Photo: Mission
|
PhotoMission
|
After doing that for a bit, we left where I ran into several people whom I forced to pose for +Mission photos.
Below left, Oderless eye...plus Mission. Center, Mark...plus Mission (goofy pose). Right, Spike plus booze...plus Mission. OK, that is wayyy more than enough of that.
Photo: Mission
|
Photo: Mission
|
Photo: Mission
|
Photo: Mission
Photo: Mission
Speaking of Oderless Eye, he asked me to get a picture of he and Mary Diamond
by the PiP
flag. (He eventually added me to the photo - reluctantly.) He's a
machinist and I work with machinists, so we talked about that for awhile.
He also noted how bizarre and diverse the topics
and people on the Pub were. He said something like, "Someone even started a
thread about rabbits that was hilarious!" (That person must be some
kind of bloody loon, says I.)
For some reason, the photo of us reminded me of the one on the right. Brain damaged? You decide.
Photo: William
Stynky was not around Sunday night, having to leave early because he, Braze and Cascabel
were all leaving early. This meant no
hat trading
or other bizarre stories. In fact, it was one of the
quietest PiP Sunday evenings I can recall. Stynky did leave us were two
bottles of something which he called Grog with us. We called it 'Stynky's
Shite'. (OK, that wasn't quite what they called it, but you get
the idea.) It was kind of funny offering it to people because the
conversation usually went like this:
Me: "Here, try this, it's really good."
They: "What is it?"
Me: "It's something Stynky made."
Pause. Look of slight suspicion.
Me: "Really, it's good." They: "Stynky made it?"Me: "Yeah!"
Pause. The mark takes the bottle and sniff the mouth of it.
They: "It smells like cloves or something."Me: "It's good!"
Pause. Tentatively take the smallest of small sips.
They: "Hey that is really good!"
Left: Is this a man you can trust? (He says he hates you.) However, I sure missed him on Sunday.
Photo: Mission
Photo: Mission
About this time, I sensed something in the air... something not right. It
may have been the potato salad from dinner. Whatever it
was a heroic presence was needed...
Unfortunately, none was a available. But I had had way more than enough to drink, so I thought I'd fill in. The Dread Surgeon Mission head scarf appeared and I sought to improve things. I failed.
Left: Who (or what) is that masked cretin?
Photo: Mission
Photo: Mission
Back at the campsite, I found Jack Roberts starting a
fire. He cheated, using lighter fluid, with I think puts a dent in his FB
reputation. (FB = er, Farging Bastidge because you are so good at
re-enacting.) I expected him to be using period flint and steel. (Although
earlier in the weekend, the estimable Patrick Hand had informed me that his
cigarette lighter contained both flint and steel and that was good enough for him.)
Left: FB status in peril!
Right: The Prince of Pirates gives a reprieve! (It was about the time this was taken that he said it. )
Photo: jetgoff
As I sat there, people began to filter into the Archangel camp and we
eventually had a nice, if not a boisterous, gathering. Mary Diamond and
husband Mark found me and we chatted until Mark begged off and
went to bed. Poor Mark is not a big 'dress-up' kind of guy and had been sitting at the
Commodore's table for dinner with Mary which required him to dress in
finery. I was very impressed with his kit, even if he did seem to want to
scratch himself in funny places from time to time. (Not that he did. He
just seemed like it.) Mary, being Mary, didn't have to borrow anything to
dress in finery and look very nice.
Mark departed, but Mary stayed and we spent a very pleasant hour discussing life, the universe and everything while sipping Stynky's Shite...once we got through the whole "Try it, it's really good" routine.
Right: Mary and the Dread Surgeon Mission conversing at the Archangel Camp near the end of the night.
Mary and I then went on a joint-bathroom hunting expedition which is a story unto itself. For some reason they had left the doors to the beach bathroom open, but the lights off, leaving your ship's surgeon groping around the bathroom in the dark trying to find the urinal. (Do not try to do this. Ever. If you can't figure out why, you're as foolish as I am.) We wound up giving up on that and trekking to the main bathrooms near the fort. After that I wandered back over to the campsite. Sensing I was sliding into the realms of Beyond Tired, I bid everyone good night. Kate Bagley volunteered to drive me back to the fort to save the mile or so walk, which I instantly accepted.