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Santa Maria Pirate Weekend, May 2008 - Columbus, OH

Chapter 2nd - Saturday Day - Containing a complete and unbiased summary of the events of the day. Featuring the absolutely riveting explanations of period surgery tools and techniques by the most marvelous, well-bred and excellently educated surgeon-for-a-weekend, Mission. Also containing some stuff about our home for the weekend, the Santa Maria, scuppers and pumping.

Michael, Kate and I headed downtown Columbus to board the life-sized replica of Columbus's Santa Maria. We were unfortunate to discover that the road commission was intently working against our pirate event aboard the ship by closing several streets leading to the park where the ship lay, but fortunate to get so re-routed and confused that we found a free government parking lot right next to the park that was open for the weekend. The ship lay at the dock side, which was down 2052 steps. Or maybe it just seemed that way because of all the stuff we had to carry down them. (I'll bet you didn't realize that a skeleton got 2 pounds heavier with every yard you carried him.) The ship itself, once you arrived, was quite breathtaking, once you were able to catch your breath.

Santa Maria at dock
(Photo: Some German tourists on vacation)
The front of the Santa Maria
(Photo: Perkeo)
A view of the main deck of the Santa Maria
(Photo: Perkeo)
The quarterdeck of the Santa Maria
(Photo: Perkeo)
Above: The whirlwind tour of the scale replica of the Santa Maria in Columbus, OH. Top left: The whole thing. Top right: Come closer... (Michael on deck!) Bottom left: The fore half of the ship. Bottom right: The aft deck.

The Santa Maria was built by local businesses in 1992 to celebrate the 500th anniversary of Columbus's accidental discovery of America. It was originally built in two parts so that it could be floated under the several bridges and then assembled in the area between the two bridges where it resides. According to Mark, who was part of the initial project and the leader of the pirate event, it is an exact replica of the ship. The event is apparently scheduled to take place in conjunction with Talk Like a Pirate Day. (Being somewhat "serious" highbrow re-enactor pirates with fairly good period outfits (Pirate re-enacting: It's Mostly About the Clothes), we did little of what passes for "talking like a pirate", but if you have to find an appropriate holiday to explain why pirates are taking over Columbus' ship Santa Maria, I guess TLAPD is pretty much what you have to work with.)

I proceeded to scrounge for a table on which to set up my surgical gear. Unfortunately, I picked the area right near the capstan, which I didn't notice. The staff conducting the non-pirate Columbus-oriented informational sessions were very polite about this and didn't whack me in the head with the arms of the capstan in the process of demonstrating it.

The surgeon's table
Above:
The surgeon's ever-expanding gear, nestled under the aft deck, at home amongst the other period stuff. (Photo: Michael Bagley)

Bucky the skeleton in his gibbet
(Photo: Michael & Kate Bagley)
Bucky in gibbet hanging over the water
(Photo: Michael & Kate Bagley)
At the same time, Jessica and Mark generously agreed to assemble Bucky's gibbet, put him inside and even found a way to rig him up. I was initially concerned about begin able to find a place to put a hook up to hold the gibbet (it must be hung from the top as the plastic cage can't bear any actual weight). Being resourceful, they used the rigging and hung him right near the gangplank. If Bucky has emotional capacity, I'm sure he was pleased. (Provided he was not moodily dwelling on the fact that he was hung from a hook atop head and placed inside a plastic gibbet over the water.)

Mission presenting period surgical techniques
(Photo: Michael & Kate Bagley)
I was pleased to find that there was quite a steady stream of people going on the tour and was able to keep busy all day explaining late 17th and early 18th surgery as it related to the pirates. The staff of the Santa Maria were most felicitous, giving me time to explain what a surgeon during that period would have done and the tools he would have done it with. I tried to keep it to four or five minutes, highlighting the most lurid details, while injecting a little actual history of piracy and surgeons. I've learned through presenting other topics that questions are a sign people are interested and I was pleased to have gotten several questions. I was also pleased that I was able to model my new Michael Bagley original shirt for the presentations. I know the audience members were dazzled by its striking blueness. (More on that later.)

Right: Presenting is so easy, I can almost do it with my eyes closed.

The Santa Maria's scuppers
(Photo: Michael & Kate Bagley)
The lowly scupper that
drains water off the deck.

After I got over the initial excitement of presenting and developing a sort of patter for it, I started listening to the Columbus information that the real tour guides were presenting. I learned answers to several questions I'd never had. What are the scuppers? (They're holes at deck level in the side of the ship to drain the water off the deck that was sloped just for that purpose. What was used in lieu of toilet paper at that time? A huge piece of rope frayed extensively at the ends for, uh, comfort fulfilled this duty. The guide also noted that it was called "the bitter end" on the ship, which lead to that hoary old cliché. (Didn't know that, now, did'ja?). How did the pump work to remove water from the hold/bilge work? (Very hard). Actually, the pump has interested me since I've found references to it's affect on sailor's health, so I had to try it out for myself, resulting in a lot of water getting on the deck. (Mark assured me this was OK and that that was its' purpose.)

 

Below: working the pump: 1) At rest 2) Pumping - What...a...ham. 3) And down, drawing water from the bilge.

Mission operating the Santa Maria's pump 1
(Photo: Michael Bagley)

Mission operating the Santa Maria's pump 2
(Photo: Michael Bagley)
Mission operating the Santa Maria's pump 3
(Photo: Michael Bagley)

 

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