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Santa Maria Pirate Weekend, May 2008 - Columbus, OH
Chapter 4th - Saturday Eventide - Wherein the pyrates, after a long and tiring day of goofing around, tuck into a long evening of goofing around (although now fueled by rum.) Also telling how the Surgeon went to the art faire across the river and how the artists set fire to said river.
The ship was closed to the public shortly after
dinner. At this point, a dire emergency occurred, which resulted in two
separate raiding parties making landfall to try and rectify the situation.
It was a situation akin to that which Blackbeard faced when he held
various people hostage one of the (probably dozens of) times he held
various people hostage. Yes, of course we were out of rum! What
else?! So the first
party, consisting of Krieger, Michael and I, headed off to retrieve rum
left at Michael's place by mistake. (You may as well leave your arm at
home.) Another party, consisting of several others I never took note of,
went off in search of a Piggly Wiggly at which to procure some for the
more immediately needy. (Actually, for all I know, there is no Piggly Wiggly
in Ohio, let alone Columbus, but it just sounds funny. Piggly Wiggly. See?)
Michael retrieved the rum supply from his house and took Kate's car back to the ship
Right: Piggly Wiggly - who/which does not appear in our story.
Krieger and I struck out for more rum. As it turns out, Ohio doesn't restrict its silly law making to licensing; it is an equal opportunity silly law maker. You can only buy liquor that is more than 40 proof at a state liquor store. Not knowing where such was, we wound up buying wimpy stuff at the Kroger. As Krieger said in Kroger (Say it three times fast: Go!), "You can get better liquor selection in a Gas Station in Michigan than you can in stores in Ohio." Seeing as the non-flavored brand X rum looked decidedly suspicious, I chose coconut-flavored Captain Morgan's. Some folks later decided that it was so syrupy good that it was preferred over the better stuff. Go fig.
(Photo:Michael Bagley)
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(Photo: Perkeo)
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Above left: A heated and intense discussion on deck about rum. (I think Afira (at far left) is looking for a flask.) Above right: Of course the artists set fire to the river!
(Photo: Michael Bagley)
As night settled, we got out our spyglasses in case
the Art Fair going on the other bank decided to set fire to the river,
which they did. We were all impressed, although we told ourselves that
we had actually thought of setting fire to the river first, being
pirates and they had stolen the idea. We're going to file for patent and
sue them for idea piracy.
I am always interested to see art fairs, so I decided to head over there and find Kate and Dan who had wandered over there so they could enjoy dozens of people saying "Arrrrrr!" to them. (Can you imagine everyone in the early eighteenth century saying "Arrrrrr!" to each other all the time as if it were some sort of deranged greeting? If so, you are supremely eligible to join the non-reenacting public.)
As it turned out, I met them coming back, thwarting my plan. So I later snuck away and visited myself. No one that I noticed said "Arrrrrr!" to me, although I did get called "Colonial Boy." (Now the truth is out – the secret identity of Colonial Boy is actually Mission the Surgeon. Don't tell anyone. ("Arrrrrr!"))
Right: It's a poltroon! It's a hot, sweaty
grampus! It's some weird overdressed guy!
No! It's Colonial Boy!
(Isn't the coat neato torpedo?)
(Photo: Michael Bagley)
Back on the Santa Maria, the crew sat around enjoying various
rums and telling stories in the dim
light on the deck.
Someone convinced Mark to take out his fiddle and play a song for us. As I mentioned before, the decks were sloped to direct water towards the middle of the ship and then off the sides through the scuppers. This made for a nice, inclined place to lay and observe the nighttime sky, listen to jazz music coming from the art festival ("Arrrrrr!") and think about climbing into the main top. I talked about doing this (being made brave by the rum) but thought better of it. Those steps at the top near the platform looked awfully small…
At left: Mark breaks out his fiddle. Talented though he is, wouldn't you think a white fiddle would get awfully dirty on a pirate ship?
Below: Some night shots of the crew after the rum issue was solved. Left: Mark, Grizz and Perkeo relaxing on deck. Center: Kate...you're getting sleeeeepy... Right: the scary main top (not yet a crow's nest.)
(Photo:Michael Bagley)
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(Photo: Michael Bagley)
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(Photo: Perkeo)
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Eventually, those who had decided to stay the night
started picking out sleeping quarters. Michael quickly claimed Columbus'
Quarters where I'm sure something horrible happened many years ago to two
teenagers who snuck in there at night to make out. No doubt the ghost
haunts the place to this day. It was a splendid, clement
weather for the event and sleeping out under the stars, which gave me a
slight pang of regret for not bringing my sleeping bag. Fortunately,
this lasted only momentarily and I decided to leave so that I could
pay my respects to the utility trucks. (If I were to stay, someone might discover
my alter ego. I talk in my sleep.)
At left: The ship's aft main deck (and sleep central) at night. (Photo:Perkeo)