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Santa Maria Pirate Weekend, September 2010 - Columbus, OH
(Photo: Mission)
Chapter 2nd. Speaking of Saturday and the many and
several displays that were set up - both presentational and living
history - aboard the Santa Maria. Also introducing some new characters -
and I mean that in both senses. Finishing the chapter with
a bit on the 2:30 pm battle with a particular focus on the governor's
daughter.
I woke up pretty early, and made some of the middling coffee the Hyatt has in their rooms. Glancing in the mirror, I noticed I looked like Eraserhead (left). Luckily, no one saw me allowing me to escape any possible embarrassment that may have resulted. (What?)
(Photo: Mission) |
(Photo: Mission)
(Photo: Mission)
Shay and I got a bit of a late start for the 11am
opening bell because upon seeing me in my garb, she insisted upon
ironing it. (She clearly doesn't understand my characterization at
all.) On the way to the ship, she commented on all the interesting
Columbus architecture, which is something I had never really noticed
before. We arrived to find the ship a hive of activity as you see above
on the prow of the main deck...er...um. (That's Mark Gist, Michael S.
Bagley, Jay and George on the rail, with Kate sprawled in front of them.)
Well, at least we were greeted by the busy gangplank gang seen at
left...ah...hum. (Here we have George, Dan Needham and Jay
cooling their heels.) Well at least the girls were doing something. As
you'll find at right, they were busily preparing for one of the living
history displays as well as getting themselves garbed up in their little
coffee klatch.
Being a bit later than I wanted, I immediately lugged my box full o' surgical junk over to the table where I usually set up and proceeded to get stuff out. (I mean, really, who needs pressed pants when there are bladed objects to have at the ready for the public?) eBay has been a bit slow lately for old surgical stuff, so I didn't have any new instruments to put out this time. While rooting around in my Halloween boxes (Yes, boxES. There are at least 20 of them.) I found this cool Gag Studios hard foam half skull from a Haunted House room long since forgotten. I thought he'd make a nice addition to the table despite the fact that no surgeon during the Golden Age of Piracy (1685 - 1725) would have dared to have a human skull lest the church spit and skewer him. (Or at least excommunicate him.) Still, it made a for a nice prop (below center). I also had gotten some business cards to advertise my website, which you will eventually see was a success on one level.
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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This event proved to be a lot better for displays than any previous Columbus event I can recall. Several people set up formal displays while others remained shipboard and provided living history examples for people. This was quite the improvement of the May 2010 Santa Maria Pirate event, where your old ship's surgeon was left to rot on board the ship while everyone else cavorted in the park, free from all responsibility and shafts of direct sunlight. (Not that I'm bitter.)
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
Mark Gist set up a display across the way from mine (above
left and center.) He explained pirate weapons - how and why they
were used and which weapon was the most potent. (No, I won't tell you -
come next time and find out.) My display skull proved to be a irresistible
magnet to young boys like the one standing in awe above right.)
Troops of people came through, including those at right which several
people on my Facebook
SJ Fan Page seemed to find funny. (They were a most attentive and
interested group.) Michael Bagley did a practical display wherein he
repaired the rope ladder by adding an interesting knot of string under
the ladder rungs to keep them from slipping (below).
Several people like Sam and Iron John showed up to watch (but not help.)
After the battle, when people actually had to use the ladder and see the
difference, more helpers got involved.
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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There were several other living history sorts of things going on. The nice thing about doing living history is that you don't have to explain anything unless you're asked and you can even get away with fooling around while you're doing it. For example, Sam and Shay played cribbage on the main deck during the morning tours (below left). Callenish Gunner took to the writing table set up on the Quarterdeck where he paid all his bills (below center). Hamish decided to show people how to most effectively irritate their parents by running up and down the gang-plank repeatedly (below right). Yes, living history is definitely the way to go.
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
One other display...well, ok, it wasn't a display, per se, but I
really liked it...was the boar. Captain John of the Rieske Family Cannon
Crew had brought this wickedly cool latex boar with very realistic teeth,
eyes and hair. (Look at that trio of grins above left.)
I don't know why he brought it or why he left it with me, but I decided to
put it no the chest near the display (above right). That way
I could distract the kids from fooling with the prop skull by using the
prop boar. ("Why is he there?" they'd ask, pointing to the boar.
"Go away son, ya' bother me," I'd reply.) Something else that
was widely discussed was the photo of me with the lightsaber (at
left. Mission - barber-surgeon, chief bottle opener & Jedi.)
While I'd always wanted one when I was a kid (who didn't?), I assure you
this is a trick of the light. I mean, what the heck would I need a
lightsaber for?
(Photo: Mission)
(Photo: Mission)
Now, as you know, your surgeon likes to keep you readers
up on the latest fashion trends that amuse him, so we must talk about
Stephanie and Henry (with their friend Autumn in
the black check shirt). Henry is, naturally, the shark backpack. Shay
learned this from Stephanie while I was busy doing presentations. Shay
thought Stephanie said Henry came from the hot tropics and asked
her which island. Confusion resulted until Stephanie said, "No,
Hot Topic!"
Sometime in the early afternoon I was
informed that I had been put on the roster to be the gunner aboard the
Green Black Sheep. Within about a minute of that
someone came up and asked me if I wanted to be the gunner. Having
already been told I was going to be the gunner, I said,
"Yes, of course." Knowing the battle was coming, one little
girl sitting with a group of other kids watching Salty sew put her hands
over her ears in expectation (below left). Well, that's
not really true; there were lots of kids running around all day with
their hands over their ears. I think one of the tour guides warned kids
about the noise of the cannons and you can just never be too careful
about that sort of thing. Anyhow, I ambled down to the dock for my turn
as ship's gunner. Unfortunately I have found no photos of the
Green Black Sheep crew from Saturday, so you'll just
have to imagine me in there. I did get a shot of the HMS Scow
(below center - containing Jay, Georgia, Michael
and Shay) which was the ship containing the boarders. You'll see proof of
this later - several photos were taken because it is apparently more
interesting than we were. For the nonce, we rowed over to the bridge
and waited for our cue. With our intended prize in sight, we sat below
the bridge and waited - below right
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
(Photo: Mission)
We started the battle with gunfire. Mark Gist had decided to pack more powder in
my old fabric-burning friend the hand-cannon. So my ears rang after
each shot. The primary responsibility of the Green Black
Sheep's crew was to paddle back-and-forth in front of the ship and the shore
and fire in their general direction. As often happens, the crew became more
interested in firing than rowing, resulting in our drifting right in
front of the Rieske Family Mortar. (Family Motto: "The Family That
Fires Together Expires Together"). While this was not particularly
safe, it did allow me to snap a few photos between hand-cannon firings
(left and right). This
had the side benefit of jerking the cannon rather abruptly, causing it
to gash the palm of my hand. "Medic!" (Oh, wait...)
But that was all just filler material as far as this battle goes; all the real photography-supported action took place when the folks in the HMS Scow boarded the Santa Maria. I took several shots of Shay and Georgia boarding the ship via the newly fixed rope ladders (well, mostly fixed), but those photos all look as sorry as the one you see below left. In fact, that's the best of the lot! So we turn to Kate Bagley's photos of Thomas, who really put on quite a show as you can see below center. He and Georgia charged onto the deck in a most dramatic fashion.
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Bagleys)
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(Photo: Bagleys)
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Georgia turned and took on no less formidable an opponent than Dan Needham aka Ben Fridley (below left). Thomas, Mr. Ferocious, decided to attack Rachel. (below center) Indeed, that Rachel was a scary one. Uh...huh. Thos. slew her with the help of Jay who got involved for some reason. (I guess Rachel must have really been a daunting opponent.) Maybe it's because Rachel just won't stay down - as you can see through the magic of javascript by putting your pointer on the photo you see below right.
(Photo: Bagleys)
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(Photo: Bagleys)
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(Photo: Iron John)
(Photo: Iron John)
Even Paula got into the act. (You may recall Paula
from the 2009 Pirates in Paradise Surgeon's Journal. Or you may not,
which is why I linked to it for you. Nice of me, isn't it?) Paula
grabbed the oddly oversized soft foam mug to use as a weapon in the
battle and used it to quash Jay while Salty and Callenish Gunner looked
on appreciatively. (Remember: the Santa Maria
now features soft foam weapons for battle safety's sake.
If not...)
Now, while all this random violence was going on, there was bit of planned violence going on as well. (At least I assume it was planned. On the other hand, who knows?) This particular scene of violence offered a pirate favorite: the capture of the governor's daughter (as most recently seen in the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.) We didn't want to miss out on an opportunity to copy that.
(Photo: Bagleys)
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(Photo: Bagleys)
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(Photo: Bagleys)
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(Photo: Bagleys)
This scenario starts with Governor's Daughter Blue Jess
urging Dan Needham to defend her (Above left:
"Go get 'im, Pa!") Although Dan had somehow managed to escape
the iron clutches of cabin boy Georgia (see previous panels), he eventually fell
to the dread pirate Shannon, who should really considering using a pseudonym
(above center). Shannon took his prize, Blue Jess, above
right, only to have her faint dead away in the most photogenic
way (at right.) This was more than the dread pirate Juan
bargained for (Juan doesn't really work either, does it?), but he
managed to bring her back to consciousness off-camera so that he could
dramatically wrestle her into the hold in front of dozens of witnesses.
(Below right. Not a very good criminal, is the dread
pirate Norbert? (What? Norbert isn't good either?)) Many young
children were quite alarmed at seeing the pretty red-haired lady led
around in shackles, a prisoner of pirates (who, I must note, lost the
battle, yet still managed to secure her and keep her shipboard.) I'm
sure after years of therapy, many of the kids like the young cub scout
and the girl in pink below left and center
will recover fully from this traumatic re-enactment.
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
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That is not the end of this story, however. (Despite the fact that this chapter is running sort of long - but I can't just leave you hanging, can I?) Rachel was posted to guard Governor's daughter blue Jess, which she did quite well, although she revealed a shocking amount of ankle in the process. (Below left.) Fortunately a brave sailor who was not a pirate (although he sure as heckfire looks like one) arrived with a plastic gun to defeat the dread pirate Humphry (below center) and save the distressin' damsel...or... rather...damsel in distress. (Either one...) When contacted about his daughter's narrow escape from the pirates, Ohio governor Ted Strickland registered what can only be called 'complete confusion.' (below right.)
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(Photo: Trish)
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(Photo: Some News Wire)
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(Photo: Trish's Collection)
(Photo: Bagleys)
I would be remiss if I didn't finish this chapter with a
bit on our star player. Blue Jess came with Trish and Shannon. She
got her name from the fact that she plays a character called 'Azul' at
Ren Fairs. She apparently likes to sew and even makes stuff for other
people. As I've mentioned, this is a concept so strange to me that I
cannot even figure out how to approach them, so I asked Shay to
interview her.
Shay found out all sorts of stuff that I would never even think of asking about. For example, Jessica has three kids, whose names Shay really liked: Lilliana Raven, Solaris Moon and Brenden Christopher David. (It sounds like there are five of them and two heavenly bodies to me.) She decided to call her character 'Abigail Write' because she is a writer and a kid told her she looked like an Abigail. She also mentioned that she sort of liked the shackles. Um...