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Santa Maria Pirate Weekend, September 2010 - Columbus, OH
Chapter 3rd. About things that happened once the tourists had left the Santa Maria on Saturday. including a Kate Bagley photo-odyssey; scotch eggs & salad; the latest in the series of strange thing that people in Columbus do for fun; another squirrel story (although not a particularly good one); what happened while trying to bind feisty Rachel; and a trip to the art fair across the river.
Once we cleared the decks of the tourist infestation, things settled down and Kate Bagley decided to apply some of her innate Papa Ratseyness by taking photos at dusk. (She was a student of Papa's at PiP 2009.) You will immediately notice a stark difference between the photos I took, like the one at right of Kate taking photos, and the ones she took, like the lush, soft photos you will find below. I have no excuse for this other than to say I am a point-and- shoot kind of guy. My photos are to advance the story, hers are art.
(Photo: Jessica)
How the photo looks when done right. ~Shannon and Trish~ |
(Photo:Jessica)
Comb, comb, comb... 100 strokes required. ~Jess~ |
(Photo: Jessica)
Mission with Nathan Fillion's eyes. ~Patrick Hand Original Hat~ |
(Photo: Jessica)
Mike in the ropes. Sounds like a song. ~Sung by Neil Diamond~ |
Now, lest I completely short-change the rest of us, there were some other neat photos taken, possibly inspired by Kate's foresight in taking dusk photos. (Well, in my case, this was true anyhow.) Below from left: Michael on the yardarm as captured by Iron Jon, Shay Plaiting Blue Jess's locks by moi and another Kate Bagley original - this one of Rachel.
(Photo: Iron John)
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(Photo: Bagleys)
Speaking of Rachel, let's make her the third femme fatale in as
many pages. She also came with Trish and Shannon and I believe they all
met at that same Ren Fair. Rachel is an opera singer, which means, in
keeping with our on-going theme, she is a creative woman. She was
originally studying something else, but decided to take a singing
class on a whim and fell in love with it. She speaks Gaelic, French
and German. Trish kept telling me how shy Rachel was and all I can
say is...look at the pictures! It seemed to me that each time
I took a photo of her, she posed for me. She claimed this was not true,
but...look at the pictures!
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Trish)
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Photography was all well and good, but people had been presenting and living history all day and they were hungry. Shannon and Trish (but probably mostly Trish) had generously made Scotch Eggs for the crew for Saturday night dinner. She was preparing them in "cooking area" in the park across from the Santa Maria while several people watched appreciatively (below left ). Alas, your vegetarian ship's surgeon couldn't eat them because they were literally wrapped in sausage (below center ). Fortunately, Kate Bagley came to my rescue, bringing the fixings to make a fine salad (below right). Someone, I believe it was Jenny Gist, had also brought some other prepared vegetarian salads which made for a fine meal for me.
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And then there was dinner...
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(Photo: Trish)
Conceptually, dinner is something everyone agrees upon, so you get
to see many of the event attendees. (Plus there has been
a
spate of photos of people eating in the Columbus journal lately and
that's a trend that's too annoying not to continue.) Above
left, we have Shay, Rachel, Blue Jess and a little bit of Georgia
(in blue with the red kerchief) enjoying the Scotch eggs. In
the next group in the same photo are Iron Jon, "Captain" Red
John Roberts (seated - in red, natch') and Dan Needham. Above right
Shannon, Bloody Marty Rackham, Iron Jon and Dan enjoy a bit of nosh. At
left, Jenny and Mark Gist eat in the background while your author appears
to have unhinged his jaw to insert a wodge of foot into his maw. (That's
something only professional pretend surgeons should do, so don't try this at
home, kids.) Below left Jay Babcock enjoys... er... well, he has a
scotch egg. I think the look on his face is because his ancient Jedi
master Hamish is guiding him in the ways of the Scotch egg. "Enjoy
much, you must, this egg, young padawan for not more shall you not have
until gone, it all is. Yes. Strong bones, it will build. Any pudding, how
can you have, if your meat, you do not eat? Hmm?"
(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: A galaxy far, far away...)
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Following dinner, the denizens of Columbus once again provided us with entertainment. They are always so good to us in that regard. If it isn't Segway parades, it's mass bachelorette parties, dressing in pink and mobbing the streets or going on bizarre photo shoots. You couldn't afford to pay for stimulating entertainment of this caliber, you know? Columbus came through yet again, this time with a really strange scavenger hunt. (Now pay attention because this extends for several rows and I don't want to lose anyone here.) (Ok, I don't actually care if I lose you, but I want to sound as if I do.) This all started when a couple of guys and a girl came running onto the dinner theater stage that was the sidewalk and started searching along the lowest concrete wall of the park. If they reminded me of anything, it was a line from that classic bit of childhood literature called The Poky Little Puppy by Janette Sebring Lowrey. They were just like the PL Puppy's excitable brothers and sisters, "roly-poly, pell-mell, tumble-bumble." These guys didn't seem to know exactly what they were doing, but they were really excited and eager to do it. Finally one of them came up with a beer bottle (below center) and then the all slunk away and did something scurrilous on the other side of the park. Then they left. So that was curious.
Soon another group consisting of five girls showed up, asking after the first and, once again, going "roly-poly, pell-mell, tumble-bumble" around the sidewalk looking for their bottle. They found a green one which one of them attempted to break (below left) and failed. You can't be timid about such a thing. So they recruited a pirate in the form of Michael Bagley to break it for them (below center left). This allowed them to get and read the message (below center right). Apparently the message ordered them to make up and sing a song to the pirates, who at this point were Michael and I. We learned that this was a part of some guy's birthday party. He must have been a heckuva guy, because you couldn't pay me enough to make up and sing a song to a bunch of strangers dressed in weird clothing, even if it involved national TV exposure. (Especially if it involved national TV exposure. Reality shows would be dead and gone if everyone thought like I do.) However, it was fine and humorous entertainment for us.
It just kept going from there. Two other groups showed up, found their bottles and read the instructions. I have the impression the either the instructions were very different, or the first group cheated like hell. (Which might explain why they were the first group.) The folks below left had to have Michael call the birthday boy and assure him that their group was indeed singing for him. Another group put together a truly awful song, which they sang with gusto and a little (very little) choreography (below right). In all, there were five groups, but I somehow missed one of them when taking the photos, so you'll just have to imagine the others. (For my personal amusement, please imagine them in blue leotards with yellow flowers imprinted on the front.)
There was a sort of group decision to go over to the art fair once darkness had set. The trip there was eventful, so let me explain a bit about that. For whatever reason, it was also decided that we should lead the governor's daughter through the crowds at the art fair in shackles. (Probably so we could create the most chaos - chaos is very piratey.) Some of the guys - I am going to go wayyy out on a limb here and guess it was Sam and Jay - decided to try and capture and shackle Rachel - who was unwilling to be shackled - rather than Blue Jess - who was perfectly willing to be shackled. But the boys tried (below left) and failed utterly, even with Michael's help. Fiesty one, that Rachel. (Note that even here she looks like she's posing. Maybe she's just photogenic.)
Since we were on the other side of the river, we had to cross a bridge to get to the art fair. Shay had been taking notes for me all day (which I am most thankful for) and wanted to get a photo of Thomas and Georgia smooching romantically because Thomas had proudly boasted to her that he had "...kissed the cabin boy in the crows nest. And it was a long kiss!" Now we normally eschew romance in these, your Surgeon's Journals, but to humor Shay, I took a photo of them supposedly re-enacting the scene (above center.) If you ask me, this looks more like gymnastics than romance, but your surgeon has a fatal flaw when it comes to recognizing and comprehending romance. Someone also took a cool picture of Shannon, Trish, Blue Jess, Salty and Kate going off to see the lizard (above right). My only question: who represents Toto in this photo? When we arrived at the art fair entrance, Blue Jess was put into her governor's daughter shackles again. I think she spent more time wearing them this weekend than not wearing them. There was some discussion over who would lead her through the teeming masses. Michael volunteered and Rachel tentatively stepped up (below left). However it was decided that this looked too much like a Lady Gaga video, so Shannon was recruited to be the other pirate on the prisoner brigade. We then tried to saunter into the art fair in an orderly fashion. Of course, that was a miserable failure as everyone wanted to look at different stuff and the group was soon fragmented.
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