Pirates in Paradise 2008 - Key West, Fl
(Photo: "Poppa Ratsey", Callahan Digital Art)
Chapter 5th - Of your surgeon's involvement with the
capture and walk down Duval Street with Mary Read and Anne Bonny; How
Lilly became instantly pregnant; some few details of the first battle;
and the successful making of salmagundi due mostly to the efforts of
people other than the man who committed to do it.
12/5/08 Day, Red Jessi (looking cool at left) arrived either late last night or today. We chatted a bit - apparently she is nervous about her finals - she came straight to Key West from her last final for her Master's Degree. She told me she had already landed a job...I believe in West Palm Beach. We discussed her Master's Paper which contained some very expensive words (Isometrics? Recidivism? Schizophrenic? Onomatopoeia? Other random large words?) She's a very charming lass.
(Photo: "Poppa Ratsey" Callahan, Callahan Digital Art)
They held the capturing of Anne Bonny and Mary Read in front of Mel
Fisher's Treasure Museum and, as I had not seen it last year, I decided I needed to
check this out with Patrick and Captain Jim (the non-Brits at right). Per usual, I look a little
too clean cut and wound up on the side of the redcoats with Captain Jim.
Our job was to drag the notorious females down the street from Museum to
Duval and then continue to drag them down Duval for as long as people
paid attention.
Diosa (right) walked the whole route in bare feet, which I consider impressive. I don't even want to know what might be left on Duval street from last night. I asked her about this and she said simply, "Farm girl." She assured me she had well-calloused feet and had survived horse dung in her farm days so Duval was a walk in the park. My hat's off to ya', Diosa. She and Bawdy Be put up a ferocious fight all the way down Duval while the red coats, Jim and I tried to hold the complaining pirates back - Jim with his gun and I with my wit (since I have no gun) (Come to your own conclusions about wit.) Apparently this was not enough as Dutch and Patrick wound up dumping me into a Duval street garbage can. This is another place where I really don't even want to know what the residue might contain. Fortunately, they lifted me back out.
(Photo: Fayma Callahan, Callahan Digital Art)
The dragging event involved lots of yelling and taunting in
an attempt to call attention to our group as well as stopping traffic as
we walked down the middle of the street. Poor Deadeye of the Bone Island
crew got a little overzealous in his being tossed around by Jim and the
redcoats and strained his ham. You would think a surgeon could fix that.
You would be wrong. He seemed to be getting around later, so I guess all
was well.
I talked briefly with Deadeye the night before. His eyes were HUGE though his specs, making me suspect that they were actually some sort of magnifying lenses. As this seemed like an opportunity I should not miss to try different experiences, I asked him if I could try them on. He let me and all I can say is that the man has terrible vision. In fact, he told me he cannot even get a driver's license and commutes only by bike. Good thing he lives in Key West, eh?
(Photo: Cheeky) Apparently there is to be a skit involving birthing a baby. Lilly has miraculously become pregnant overnight. I must say that she is quite sprightly for a pregnant woman. None of the nonsense about glowing, neither. In the photo at right, she appears to be all broken up about it, but I'll wager those are crocodile tears. (She borrowed them from the crocodile in the background of the pic. See him? Oh, he's behind the shrubbery...)
I also learned that I am being drafted for the skit about the delivery. This is probably a recipe for disaster, but there you are. (And if you know anything about my (complete lack of) interest in children, you probably wish you were somewhere else.) At least I am not the midwife. I didn't get all the details of this happening yet, but it does make me wonder how I should handle my role. I mean, should I be sympathetic? Wise and thoughtful? Capable and all surgical-like? Fat, drunk and stupid? (That's no way to go through life, son.) Maybe I can stand there with a pipe in my mouth, rubbing my chin sagely and go "Hmmm...looks like we may have to amputate." Yeah, that sounds good.
Today was also the first battle. Not wanting to be razzed for missing it this year, I packed my surgical gear and pre-bloodied rags in preparation for some field surgery. (OK, that's not true. Not the packing of surgical gear part, the not wanting to be razzed part. In truth, Boo Gator couldn't make it this year, so I couldn't go out for conch fritters with him. *Sniff* In truth, I would have jumped at the chance. But about that first battle...) My having surgical gear prepared for battle was the single most important element in guaranteeing that no one would be pretend to be hit, thus falling down and requiring yours truly to perform surgery. So I stood around looking like a dunce with a very large satchel slung over his shoulder and no weapon in the middle of a battle. The pirates had set up their flag in the most precarious way they could think of, so it naturally fell down. Iron Nigel yelled at me to pick it up, so that's what I did for the balance of the battle. I really should just skip the first battle since those with guns are too excited to fire them to bother pretending to be wounded. In fact, come to think of it, that's what I did last year. I just didn't realize it was such a wise decision then.
(Photo: Red Jessi)
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(Photo: Cpt. Sophia)
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(Photo: James Callahan, Callahan Digital Art)
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Above: The first battle. At left: Pirates prepare to fire the cannon at the people foolishly hanging around on the fort wall. Center: The best picture of your ship's surgeon from this trip, holding the flag. Right: The British on the fort wall. From left: M.A. d'Dogge & Mickey Souris and his Hatfield/McCoy gun. In the back ground are the arses of the British cannoneers doing their work, clearly oblivious to the camera.
(Photo: Thatchers) |
It was my turn to cook dinner and I was making Salmagundi. Salmagundi is
a large salad with meat and eggs. Captain Sophia (left) kindly agreed to drive
me in her Doom Buggy (below). Lady Constance gave me a list of things and Captain Sophia took the
reins on the buying for the most part. I must thank her for being my
grocery store guide. She has that patented way of looking at you as only someone who
knows better can when you make a truly bone-headed selection in the
cheese department and saying, with all due sarcasm, "That would be
interesting." and later says to another tentative choice, "That
would be interesting. In a good way."
(Photo: Captain Sophia)
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(Photo: Cpt. Sophia)
(Photo: Thatchers)
Fortunately, the salmagundi was a success. I would like to say
this is my doing, but that would be a lie. I chopped various salad
preparations for the salad with the assistance of M.A. d'Dogge (left), Silkie,
Captain Sophia and with the ever wise guidance of Josh Merriweather.
(More on that in a minute.) Thank God Lady Constance (right) agreed to
advise and help with the preparation, or it would have been a really
lame half finished salad. She even made the salad dressing from scratch,
which should give the meal the right spin. I suggested baking garlic
bread to add substance and she agreed to do that by hand as well! A
wizard of a woman, she organized the troops, cooked the meat, made the
(yummy) dressing, and advised us on the salad layering technique. I'll
fight any man who says otherwise. (Except the ones who are bigger than me
and would probably win.)
(Photo: Mission)
We also made fruit salad, for which M.A. d'Dogge created a bowl from a
watermelon. He even serrated the sides up with his
knife, which I thought was a nice touch. Josh kept suggesting that I put
lime juice on the fruit salad, which I refused to do until
Constance came over and told me it would preserve the fruit. Knowing I was licked,
we put the lime juice on the fruit salad and it actually added a zing to
the affair that was quite good. (Sorry to have doubted you Josh!) The
garlic butter biscuits and wonderful dressing completed the meal to good
effect.
M.A. d'Dogge had won several bottles of wine which he generously placed on the table for the patrons and an enjoyable meal was had by all. The meal was a success and I know it will be even better the next time I volunteer for such a fun activity at PiP, say in 2035.