Pirates in Paradise 2008 - Key West, Fl
(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
Chapter 4th - What happened on the second part of the first
day, including spending money foolishly, buying garters and meeting the
prat; also noting the arrival of several key figures such as Lilly,
Michael and Kate Souris &c. Oh, yes, with an explanation
of why you shouldn't get in a pen and try to moon an emu. As if you didn't
already know why.
12/4/08, Afternoon Pat, Jim and I headed over to the fort and proceeded to spend more money than is sensible with Weeping Heart Trading Company. WH is flying under false colors Hudson Bay for this event for some reason. Come to think of it, they did that last year. I guess they don't want their name tarnished... Patrick bought the last cool pewter spoon they had. I was sorry it was the last one because I have bought in wholesale to the Sealkie's Hide menu concept since it is really that cool (especially when there are veggie options). Sans spoon, I knew I'd be on the share-a-spoon program once again. Jim, Pat and I all talked at length with vendor extraordinaire Greg (left) of WH of many things: of shoes and ships and sealing-wax of cabbages and kings and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings. Since none of this provided any sales for Greg, we left and checked out the other vendors. There are more PC vendors like Old Sutler John's this year, which is nice to see.
Below left: A view of the extensive tents of the vendors. Below right: The "Weeping Heart Trading Company"; you can just see the edge of the sign on the right side.
(Photo: Fayma Callahan, Callahan Digital Art)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo: Mission)
While I was with Patrick and Jim in the fort,
releasing any spare cash I had on me, Captain Jim convinced me to do
something I never thought I would admit publicly - buy garters. These
period long socks are cool and everything...well, they're actually not
very cool at all; they're sort of warm...but mine never stay up.
Someone (I think it was Greg of Weeping Heart/Hudson Bay) helpfully noted that the socks we renatures can buy are better than the socks that real period folks have because the gathering is actually better. I guess we should be happy to have them, but this did little to make me happy with my constantly slipping-down socks. So I plunked down the money for my first ever pair of garters.
Darned useful little things, garters, and PC stylish to boot, me thinks. And here I thought they were only useful for soft-core porn and as a curse at weddings.)
Right: Mission as Colonial Boy with his shiny new garters. The satchel is Michael Bagley's and the Hat is Red Jessi's. I am just a man of many borrowed clothes in this photo. (And it almost completely fails to look good on me.)
(Photo: Jessica Bagley)
(Photo: Thatchers)
Lilly McKinny/Cheeky Actress arrived. (I think it was Lilly. It could have been one
of her many alter-egos the names of whom I can never keep track. (Heck, I can hardly remember one name...) She was wearing a rather severe outfit and I though Lilly
was a...woman of the night, so I could be wrong.)
She greeted me with a huge hug, which I am slowly becoming conditioned to receiving, thanks to a year of dedicated work and patient correction from the likes of Lilly, Lily, Scarlett Jai, Mary, Kate Souris and Spike. (Yes, Spike!)
Left:Lilly McKinney in what looks like the Severe Evening Wear Collection. Right: A candid moment with Grace.
(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
(Photo: Callahans)
Back at camp, I ate far too much of the lunch munchies at the Hide and
chatted with the Archangels, Dutch and Grace and anyone else who happened
to be near the cheese plate. Meanwhile, a film crew from some Real Life! event the
Discovery channel was putting together showed up. Their plan? This random
ex-tennis player guy enters every odd event he can find in
attempt to get his pilot show off the ground. He showed up to interview M.A.
d'Dogge since he was one of the winners of the Walk-the-Plank
contest last year.
He talked a lot of smack and sounded pretty much like those sap-headed folks you hear on Real Life! Shows, so I tuned the prat out. I believe they also interviewed Willie Wobble, but I had retreated to a safe distance by that point. Like hot dogs, reality TV is only good if you don't understand what goes into its preparation. (And even then...)
Left: The prat enjoying the Discover Card of the Discovery Channel. Right: His final faux garb. (Oh, that awful parrot!)
The Walk-the-Plank contest was scheduled for the late afternoon, but I missed it in deference to discussing things with Patrick and Jim and enjoying fine beer at the ore house I, which faces the ocean. I learned later that M.A. d'Dogge became the first two-time winner of the Walk the Plank Contest. The second place winner was Spike and the third place winner was the prat. Diosa told me today that his skit's best part involved ripping a stuffed parrot in half, which bumped him out of the rabble. (There were seven contestants.) Spike said he was being tried for being too nice, which he protested against. By way of proof, he offered up the head of his child. (A doll's head.) Our own M.A. d'Dogge had a satchel full of pardons from governors which he proceeded to read, finally pulling out a treasure map, which he drops, and diving after it. The celebratory dinner was afterwards at El Meson de Pepe, where Mr. Dogge won.
(Photo: Callahan Digital Art) |
(Photo: Callahan Digital Art) |
(Photo: Callahan Digital Art) |
(Photo: Callahan Digital Art) |
Above from left: the prat and his parrot beg for mercy, next Captain Spike claims that he is not "too nice" as his crew asserts, third, M.A. d'Dogge proudly offering one of his many "pardons." Above far right: M.A. d'Dogge registers both shock and surprise at the announcement of his second annual win.
(Photo: Thatchers)
Dinner was made by Willie Wobble. It was a jerk meat of some kind which didn't
interest me (beef, I believe). Fortunately Willie also made beans & rice as well as
cabbage and carrots. The veggie portion was quite good. I ate it in my new
Hudson Bay wooden bowl.
Captain Sophia M. Eisley (left) arrived in time for dinner and I had a nice time renewing our friendship - we had met several years ago in Orlando where she lives. (Kongalush!!) She was the first Pub member I ever met. She apparently brought gear for her role as a spice trader, although I never got to see it.
Incidentally, Captain Sophia has written her own blog/journal about the events at Pirates in Paradise as she experienced them. It is entitled Sorely Missing Paradise - a common ailment for most of us coming home from this event. Click on the title to check out her view of the event. Captain Sophia has a very breezy, enjoyable writing style and she saw and did different things than I did, so you'll get a whole new perspective from it.
At dinner, Silas Thatcher brought two of his
charges, Zach, who is 6 and Grace, who I have named Baby Lyin',
which she detests. The young Zach regaled us with jokes that I am sure are
blazingly funny – if you're a 6 year old. ("What did the
cup say to the other cup? Brbrbrbrbrbrbrbr!") I never got the right
of his jokes. He tried diligently to clue me into his unique humorous take
using several examples. (What did the salt shaker say to the other salt
shaker? What did the spoon say to the other spoon?" Etc.)
Silas told me that he would eventually run out of items on the table and that should be the end of his jokes, but when he ran out, the young master just started over again ("What did the spoon say to the other spoon?") and I never quite figured out clearly humorous twist in the punch lines. ("Blahhhhhhhb!") No doubt he's a huge hit on the 6 year old stand up circuit.
(Photo at right: Thatchers)
Grace is an 8 year old who is as cute as a bug.
She had this bean bag stuffed tiger that she told me was
named "Claudius" or something similarly regal-sounding. I noted
that it looked like a small lion my sister and I had had when we were
about Grace's age that was very cleverly named Baby Lion. Baby Lion was
one of those stuffed animals that you love and fight over until there
isn't a scrap of its original fur or a single plastic eye left. He or
possibly she was eventually consigned to the dump one fateful Saturday
afternoon and my sister and I looked longingly out over the piles of trash
every time we visited, wondering what Baby Lion was doing, there in the
dump. Hunting stuffed zebras, no doubt. Anyhow, I decided to call Grace
"Baby Lion" and she said that wasn't her name. Patrick noted
that it must be her name because she was small and clearly lying about her
name. (Rim shot.)
At left: Grace in her garb in paradise, lookin' cool...
(Photo: Thatchers)
Michael & Kate Souris (below left), their friends Nick and Ashley/IsabellaStrojny (below middle left), Mark Gist (below center right), he from the Columbus Talk Like a Pirate Day Surgeon's Tale) and Lob the monkey (below right) arrived before nightfall and thus were able to set up their several tents before dark and enjoy dinner at their leisure.
(Photo: Jessica Bagley)
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(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
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(Photo: Jessi)
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(Photo: Kate Bagley)
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(Photo: Mission)
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(Photo right: Some guy in Nashville.)
I got into another discussion with William from
the privateers who seem to switch crews every time you ask them which crew
they're with. ("Dampier...no, wait, Uncle Wiggley's crew!") They also
have a pledge period and they told one of their would-be members that to
join the anonymously-Captained crew he must climb into a pen with an emu.
This was supposed to be a joke, but before they could stop him, the lad
dived into the enclosure. They were too doubled over in laughter to do
anything. The guy then proceeded to drop his pants and moon the emu
("Why?" you ask. How should I know? You'd have to ask William and Doug.) The emu
took an active interest in this and I can only assume that the poor
lad's girlfriend (who was on hand for this event) got him out while Will
and Doug were lying on the ground rolling around in paroxysms of laughter.
Right: "Yes, that's just what the emus thought..."
We then drank far into the night...OK, it's only 11:30, so I didn't drink that far. Thanks to Willy and Lily for allowing the ol' surgeon to partake of the rum and then to Silkie for the supply of water that made the trip back on the bike from hell tolerable. I actually spent at least an hour with Anna (below left) and Josh (below right) sitting around the campfire site by Edward O'Keefe and Lily Alexander's tent where they proved to me that Star Wars lore had progressed to a degree that even I could not fathom, especially when partially filled with rum. Apparently, Plo Kloon is the new black. I think Anna has read more Star Wars books than I knew existed and I wound up asking many questions about the state of one of my former hobbies.
(Photo: Madam Grace)
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(Photo: Mary Diamond
(sort of...))
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(Photo: Callahan Digital Art)
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So it was a full day at the fort, most of it spent in the encampment which has now vastly outstripped last year's set-up by at least three times. Greg from Weeping Heart came over and, while I longed to enter into long discussions with him, all the Patrick/Jim/Star Wars info had infiltrated my rum-besotted mind and I doubted it could hold much more without exploding.