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Santa Maria Pirate Weekend, May 2012 - Columbus, OH
Chapter 4th: The Saturday battle, in all its glory; The launching of the pirate fleet: The Green Black Sheep, the Firefly and the HMS Scow; The lone British Royal Navy boat: the Persephone (Purse-eff-own); The boat assault; The Santa Maria's Defense; A Rieske shore battery charged; The pirate boarders; A valiant sword fight; The capture of the ship and the governor's daughter; And the horrors of war. (My palms get sweaty just typing about it!)
Photo: Mission
The Persephone loading via the Green Black Sheep
It was clear and sunny, with the wind at 12 knots from the southeast - perfect weather for a battle, in other words. Since we had held two meetings about this battle, we decided to go ahead and have it. This meant loading four crews into four boats.
The dock that the Santa Maria's office sits on had never considered hosting four boat launches at once, so we wound up having boats two deep in some places, as you can see in the photo at left. Curiously, the outside boat was the Persephone, which was the British craft. Yet we, the pirates, politely let them use our boat as a stepping stone to load their boat. Since they were Royal Navy, they were better organized and had cast off before all of our crew was even on the dock.
With the Persephone safely away, it was time to seriously consider loading our boat, which Mark Gist did - with no little frustration. We had a record seven people in the Green Black Sheep! Then we cast off and rowed past the admiring crowds who gathered at the gibbet to watch. Goodbye gibbet people! We'll soon be firing guns at you!
 Photo: Mission Bryan, Carla and Anna Maria arranging |
 Photo: Mission The crowd gathers to watch |
 Photo: Sos Boss The |
Now, I don't know if you studied that last picture in the series above, but there is something interesting about it. See if you can figure out what it is. Note that there are seven people in the boat (from the back, left to right - Mark Gist, Dan Curtis, Thomas Grooms, Sos Dave, Chris Burke (who is hidden), Sos Carla and your author in the front.) Notice the interesting part yet? Seven people...one rowing. And who is rowing? The only woman in the boat - Becci! Pirates: equal opportunity employers. Eventually Becci started showing signs of tiring after hauling six sorry men about and Sos Dave and Chris took up a second set of oars. Mark Gist did his best to call cadence for the group, but they were about as coordinated as drunk orangutans, so his help only magnified the problem.
 Photo: Mission Becci slaving away at the oars. |
 Photo: Mission Sos Dave (left) and Chris (right) take to the oars to work against her |
Photo: Mission
The Green Black Sheep heading for the bridge
The rowing team eventually got us over to the bridge (despite the fact that Chris and Dave were helping) where we kind of sat and waited for the opportune moment. Traditionally, I am the one who signals the start of the battle by firing the Green Black Sheep's deck gun because it is the biggest, and thus the loudest, gun of the bunch and it makes a heckuva racket when the boom of the shot reverberates off the underside of the Broad Street bridge.
However, this time someone in the Firefly got a little anxious and decided to fire their musket ahead of schedule. Mark said that this may as well be the signal and told me to fire my gun so the battle could officially commenced.
Commence it did! After that shot was fired, all the pirate boats left the safety of the bridge to harass the Persephone and try to take the Santa Maria. Everyone got the muskets and hand guns out and unloaded their powder in the direction on the two targets. Your surgeon did his best to keep the deck gun roaring. Not being used to having a second target (the Persephone), I kept pointing my gun at the Santa Maria and the cannon battery. Plus it gave the crowds there some noise to enjoy.
 Photo: DB Couper The HMS Scow (top) and |
 Photo: Sos Boss The Persephone and |
Photo: DB Couper
Dan Needham firing at will. (Don't even.)
Photo: DB Couper
Jim Shipley defending the ship, see?
Now the defenders aboard the Santa Maria weren't just out on the Quarter deck sunning themselves. Somehow, as if they had been to two previous meetings to determine what would happen next, they had decided to pre-load their muskets and be ready to fire. They lined up at the rail and kept up a steady patter of black powder shots.
 Photo: DB Couper Carl, Stephen, Dan C. and Thomas make ready... |
 Photo: DB Couper ...and then fire a volley of shot a the mangy pirate boats (off screen.) |
Photo: DB Couper
Trish lights the Stern castle mortar. You know it's Trish by the lace.
The defenders were assisted by some heavy fire power as well. Part of it came from the Stern castle, where folks were regularly lighting the little mortar that Rieske (it's pronounced "Risky") Family Artillery had generously supplied. The other part came from her larger brother - the shore battery mortar.
Trish was up on the Stern castle doing the honors with the little mortar. I think she was assisted by Jessica Bagley, but since I was busy trying to keep the deck gun on the Green Black Sheep firing, I can only say what I see. (Lace.) Then again, she may have been firing the mortar solo. Trish is a long-time heavy artillery defender of the ship; before Mark Gist got the Green Black Sheep, she and I used to fire the deck gun from the fore deck of the Santa Maria. If she survived that, she must be very competent and may have shot solo.
The Rieske's were keeping the larger mortar lit. I can tell you this: you were well aware when that thing went off, because your ears rang for a few seconds after it was lit! It was definitely the 800 pound gorilla in the fight.
 Photo: Sos Boss John Rieske firing the touch hole on the larger mortar |
 Photo: Sos Boss A smoking gun... and a young Rieke to swab it out once it stops |
Photo: DB Couper
ASMMLC Nathanael Logsdon
Photo: Pirated
See what i mean?
As tempting a target as the Santa Maria made (because it was big and we were likely to hit it with our poorly aimed shots), the Persephone also got much of the pirates attention.
Admiral Sir Mister Most Loyal Captain Nathanael Logsdon had spent the better part of a week neglecting his primary hobby - the historic John Work House - and his primary job - his reenactor supply store the Taylor Rose Historical Outfitters - to fix up the Persephone for this event. I also suspect that his group, by which I mean his wife Andrea, who was previously profiled - spent quite a bit of time tailoring naval costumes for British men of war.
The Persephone used to be the Priddy Princess, owned and operated by Stephen Priddy, who also happens to be attached to the Admiral Sir Mister etc. etc.'s group. You may recall the Princess from previous Paynetown events, such as the 2010 edition. Somehow Nathanael came into the possession of it - he probably won it during a card game cuz' he's like Han Solo - and rechristened it the Persephone in honor of Alexander Graham Bell. (This is a lie that I made up to make fun of my intentional mispronunciation of the boat's name. Purrs-ah-fown.)
Photo: Mission
The HMS Scow going to her doom
The point is that the Persephone was out at sea along with us. She had not been under the bridge when we started, since she was supposed to be a British Royal Naval ship, but as soon as we came out from under there, she swooped in to attack us. Well, sort of. It's difficult to "swoop in" when there's only one person rowing. I would like to note here who was rowing: Andrea. (You can see this clearly in the photo below left.) It was clearly Ladies Day on the Scioto River and we were all doing our best to honor that tradition by making the ladies the power in battle. (The power supply for the boats, that is.)
Of course, there was a healthy bit of give-and-take going on as far as the attacking went. Sometimes the Persephone attacked us and other times we attacked her. It all depended on who had their guns loaded and ready to fire. At right, you can see the HMS Scow moving in to take on the Persephone. (This, despite the fact that I don't believe they actually had any weapons. I was really sort of a suicide mission for them because the Persephone's crew had scads of weapons.)
 Photo: Sos Boss Why attack the Persephone? Look how arrogant Stephen Priddy is! Attack! |
 Photo: DB Couper The Persephone goes for the |
Photo: Mission
Of course, chasing the Persephone could have gone on until we ran out of powder for our guns. (Well, and it did, actually.) But there were better things afoot than our arms. There was a boarding scheduled to occur, at least according to the multiple meetings. This was good because, as you can see at left, the crowds were gathered at the rail and were hungry for more action. What better way to give it to them than a bunch of pirates scaling the ship?
Photo: Michael Colosimo
The Firefly going to her doom
The first load of boarders was in the Firefly, being captained by Michael Bagley. Eager to play their role in the little battle drama, the crew of the Scow pulled for the Santa Maria as we see in the photo at right. Unlike the larger boats, two men were each pulling at the oars: Red Feather Fischer and Andrew Thatcher. In unison, yet. They apparently hadn't heard about Ladies Day.
I should take a second here to comment on Red Feather's Red Feather. It made for a pretty easy-to-spot target from the Santa Maria according to the gunners. "Aim for the red feather!" was the battle cry of the day according to Red Feather's good friend Jim Brown. Or maybe it was only his good friend Jim Brown that was yelling that. I wasn't there, so I can't say for sure.
The Firefly soon reached her station, guided by helpful ropes and the ladder that Michael and Grace had carefully placed over the side earlier for their use. Red Feather was the first to be sent up as you can see in the first two photos below. This was probably because the gunners on the ship were shooting holes in the bottom of the Firefly while aiming at that juicy target. You'll also find Dan Leonard and Dennis Dufrense coming up, I believe from a second boat - possibly the HMS Scow. If you look closely, you may notice that in every picture of the boarders at least one of them has a knife in their mouth. This is no doubt based on what they have seen in pirate movies. This provided a steady stream of income for your ship's surgeon, who was tasked with repairing the sides of people's mouths who had seen too many pirate movies and decided to board with knives in their mouths. So it all worked out for the best. (At least as far as my income was concerned.)
 Photo: DB Couper Red Feather Fisher climbs |
 Photo: DB Couper Red Feather scrambles over the rail |
 Photo: Dolphin Dani Dan Leonard and Dennis clambering up |
Photo: DB Couper
The boarders prepare to attack the Santa Maria crew
Photo: DB Couper
Dennis fighting for the Gov's Daughter
Now that the pirates had boarded and gotten onto the Quarter deck, it was time for some sword fighting! The Santa Maria's crew had to defend the Governor's daughter Abigail Wright and her hand-maid! (Every time she's there, she gets captured by the pirates. You would think the governor would tell her to stop going on the ship.)
Eventually it came down to a few remaining pairs of sword-fighters. (This was largely governed by the number of foam swords they had available to fight with. Some of the people involved were so excited by the battle that they are now considering buying their own foam swords. Imagine it. Twenty four pairs of sword fighters this fall. They'll be tripping over each other during the battle.) At the end of the battle, the defenders appeared to have lost and things looked pretty desperate for the Governor's daughter. What would happen to her now? (Seriously, Gov., just lock her in her room when the Santa Maria Pirate Weekend is coming up. It will go better for all involved.)
 Photo: DB Couper Dennis vs Jim & Bryan vs RF |
 Photo: DB Couper Red Feather makes a daring move! |
 Photo: DB Couper Jim Brown and Dennis Dufrense duking it out |
Now, I don't to interrupt the flow of the narrative here, but remember the boat battle? It was still going on throughout the boarding, sword-fighting and Governor's Daughter taking on the Santa Maria. This was because a) we still had powder and it is a mortal sin to return to the dock with unfired black powder and 2) our view of the sword fight looked pretty much like what you see below right. Just a public service announcement from your local hard-working boat battlers. We now return you to your regular narrative.
 Photo: Sos Boss Your pirates, working hard for you, even during boarding and sword-fights. |
 Photo: Mission The sword fight from the our boats POV. |
So what did happen to the Governor's Daughter, besides a severe talking to from her father when she returned home? Dennis Dufrense and Red Feather (or RF for short) Fisher threatened them for a bit, making the Governor's Daughter cringe and hide with her hand-maid 'Becka. Then, for some reason known only to themselves and everyone who had actually been paying attention during the second meeting that morning, the two pirates decided to escort them down to the main deck, leaving the Quarter deck strewn with bodies.
 Photo: DB Couper Dennis and RF threatening Blue Jess |
 Photo: DB Couper More of Dennis and RF threatening her |
 Photo: DB Couper Escorting her to the Main Deck |
Photo: DB Couper
Threatening the tourists?
Photo: DB Couper
Gov's Daughter Victorious!Once on deck, something important happened that makes it painfully obvious to you readers that I really should have been paying more attention to what was said at the meetings and less attention to trying to take pictures that didn't come out good enough to be of any use in this Journal. So I'll just make something up and hope it's close to the truth.
First the pirates tripped while going down the stairs from the Quarter deck to the Main Deck, because, man, those are some steep stairs. (Seriously!) They fell in a heap at the bottom, out cold, in a manner that could only suggest that the surgeon was going to be making some serious cash when he got back on board.
Then the Governor's Daughter took one of their swords and threatened the tourists that if they told her father what had happened, she would eviscerate them. Thus the Governor's Daughter was victorious and able to give the V Swords for victory sign! (What happened to her hand-maid is a complete mystery.)
Back up on the Quarter deck, the bodies were stacked high and deep. Well, they were really more strewn around like you saw previously, but 'stacked high and deep' sounds more dramatic. The point is that there were quite a number of them. This led to looting (pirates) by the mortar crew as we see below right.
 Photo: Sos Boss All that armor and he still went down. How the mighty have fallen. |
 Photo: Mission Kate Stealing Hats and Shoes |
Once the battle was finished, the dead pirates were all miraculously raised and started exiting the Quarter deck. DB got some shots of Thomas Alleman coming down as the crowd cheered. Thomas saluted them with his sword, thinking, "Ah, me public..." but as it turned out, they weren't cheering for Thomas. Weird Al Yankovich was on the ship.
 Photo: DB Couper The crowd cheers when the battle ends just as Thos. descends |
 Photo: DB Couper Thos. salutes them |
 Photo: From the files of Police Squad Like a surgeon! |