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Fort Taylor Pyrate Invasion, Dec 2013 - Key West, FL

Chapter 6th: Saturday, December 7th, Day. What happened on Saturday during the day, by which we mean the afternoon because the author spent most of the morning loafing around in his condo making eggs and toast, surfing the 'net and pretending to work on this Journal; Of Klaus and the the Kinder Egg; Interesting people who
Photo: Mission - The Surgeon's Pewter Clyster Syringe
stopped by the surgeon's display including the Director of Archeology for the Mel Fisher Museum; More than you probably care to read about the clyster syringe; A rather indistinct description of the Saturday Battle including several things you probably don't care about and Still more about the clyster syringe because you can never get enough of that.

Between finishing the web page that explained how the Mercury ship in a bottle was made, uploading photos from my camera so I could keep everything organized, and writing the text for this Journal, I didn't get to the fort until noon today. Upon arriving, my first order of business was to get my head scarf tied. Cat Iacona happened to be staying in one of the tents across from the Mercury site, so I enlisted her aid as you see below.

Photo: Mission's Camera Cat Iacona Tying Mission's Scarf 1

Photo: Mission's Camera Cat Tying Scarf 2 (Exciting stuff, this.)

Photo: Mission Cat Finishes the Scarf

Photo: Mission
Barbara at FTPI 2012
Shortly afterwards, someone appeared with a poster of Bloody Barbara. They then ordered me to 'sign it in your pirate name.'

This I did and then, by way of reward, apparently for properly following commands or something, I learned that I was signing the poster so that we could send it back home to Crudbeard's wife Bloody Barbara. I believe Barbara couldn't make the event this year because she is ill from the effects of undergoing chemo back at home. So it was for a good purpose and I was happy to have followed my summons.

She was missed this year.

Photo: Caribbean Pearl Don Maitz Signing Barbara's Poster

Photo: Caribbean Pearl Eric Mueller, Stephanie & Wendy

Photo: Caribbean Pearl Helping Cat to Follow Orders

Klaus Chroszielewski appeared and presented me with a Kinder Egg. I had been whining to Klaus about getting a Kinder Egg ever since
Photo: Mission's Camera
Klaus Presents Mission With a Kinder Egg
Diosa and Wendy Wellman had gotten one at FTPI in 2011 which contained a bunch of parts that, when assembled, formed a dragster. I know. How cool is THAT? So I wanted to get a Kinder Egg that contained parts that formed something similarly cool like a rocket ship or windmill or blunderbuss. With that in mind, I asked Klaus to get me "one that contained parts." Which he did.

It was a bit melty when he presented it to me. Klaus apologized, noting that the Key West heat does that to a chocolate egg, even when just riding over to the fort from one's hotel. So I quickly ate the egg, hoping to find some interesting assembly inside that would appeal to my engineering side. Instead, I found two tops and pictorial instructions indicating that they were to be twirled and set against each other. Ah. Battle tops. "Well, you said to get you one with parts, so I shook it and that one had parts!" Klaus noted. Indeed.

I meant to save the battle tops (and instructions) so I could photograph them for your edification, but I think I irritated Robert the Doll with that last chapter and am now cursed with the missing Kinder Toy bad luck. Apologies.

Photo: Caribbean Pearl
Mission Presenting to Some Medical Folks
We had decent foot traffic through the camp site, so I was spent a lot of time explaining period surgical techniques. There were a couple of interesting folks who visited my surgical table. One was Johnny White who explained that he was from a newspaper (Mile Zero.) He asked me to pose in front of my display, which I did.

There were several medical folks who visited and commented on things. An actual surgeon stopped my by display. He was most fascinated with the instruments. I have noticed that medical folks are often very fascinated with medical stuff. I guess this makes sense, in a way.

I used to know a couple of hospital folks who loved nothing more than to
Photo: Mission's Camera
Explaining the Scarificator to the Donate Blood Today! Girl
watch ER when they got home on Thursday nights. They would tell me how accurate the whole thing was, which made me sort of
Photo: Stolen
He Wears a Stethoscope -
Even with a T-Shirt!
wonder why they didn't just stay at work and watch that instead. Perhaps they preferred their hospital angst with George Clooney in it.

A group of women, two of whom were in the field admired the table and quizzed me on several procedures before announcing that many of the techniques and tools really weren't all that different from today. (I frequently hear that from medical folks.)

A third ER nurse in the tiniest possible bikini visited with her husband, a serious-looking fellow. She parked herself right up against the edge of the table and occasionally pointed at things right near her and asked me to explain them. It made me a bit nervous to go grabbing those surgical tools. (In addition to being serious-looking, her husband was also bigger than me.)

Perhaps the most interesting guy was the one who approached the table with his wife and two children and looked delighted when he saw the instruments. He
Photo: Mission's Camera
Mission, The Clyster Syringe and Corey Malcolm
got his camera out and started taking close up shots of instruments, particularly focusing on the clyster syringe. I dutifully explained its purpose while he continued to snap away.

Now, I know the clyster syringe is interesting, but it's not that interesting. Still, his wife and kids, while not particularly interested in my stuff, seemed quite tolerant of the whole thing. It turns out that his name was Corey Malcolm and he was the Director of Archaeology for the Mel Fisher Maritime Heritage Society.

Corey explained that he was an underwater archeologist who was helping to bring up and identify pieces from an 1827 ship wreck in the Keys - a Spanish pirate-slaver Guerrero. They had found the top part of a clyster syringe on the wreck and he was taking photos of the syringe for his work. He told me that they had not "recovered it" meaning it was still on the wreck, I assume. I suspect that this is because you have to be careful bringing a lot of this stuff up because of reaction it can have with air when it reaches the surface. Cory told me he had worked on shipwrecks all over the world and "nearly all of them had these types of syringes." He also referred me to two articles he had written: one on a type of folding knife called a navaja which they had found on the Atocha and the Santa Margarita. The other article is about the use of Mercury on Spanish Galleons like the Atocha, the famous ship recovered by the Mel Fisher Museum. Both articles are well worth a look.

Photo: Mel Fisher Museum Clyster Syringe Cap from Guerrero

Image: Mel Fisher Museum Clyster Parts from Shipwreck

Photo: Mel Fisher Museum A Navaja Folding Knife From Corey's Article

Finding
John Woodall - from the surgion's mate (1617)
these syringes on so many ships does not surprise me, given that the first English sea surgeon's manual, the surgions mate by John Woodall which was written in 1617 (about 5 years before the wreck of the Santa Margarita) contains pages and pages of information on the clyster/glister syringe and the concoctions that could be loaded into it for injection. (For those really interested, see the first edition of his book, pages 18-20 and the explanation of medicines Axungia Cerui (53), Aqua Cœlestis (53-4), Rosemary Water (56), Oleum Chamæmelinum (70), Oleum Sambucinum (72), Oleum Laurinum (72-3), Oleum Absinthy (73), Oleum Amigdalarum dulcium (74), Conser. Prunellorum. (82), Succus Acatiæ. (88), Amylum. (103), Furfur tritici.(118), Laudanum Opiat Paracelsi (225), Oyle of Vitrioll (281) along with the curing of half of the things that happen at sea including wounds (128), compound wounds (130),  wounds of the nerves and tendons (133), head wounds (136), face wounds (138), hemorrhages (141), apostemes (149), fractures (162 & 166),  scurvy (184, 187, 188, 189-91), ulcers (198-9), diarrhea (205, 208, 209-11, 213), flux (215), dysentery (220-2, 223), Iliac Passion (232, 235-6), Colic (237, 238, 239-41), Tenasmus (244), Falling of the Fundament (247) and Callenture (248).

I'm sure you'll agree that that is a serious lot of discussion of the use of enemas.

Drawing: John Woodall - Woodall's Drawing of a Clyster Syringe From 1639 Edition of his book: The surgions mate

While I didn't have a lot of time to wander about before the battle, I did manage to spend a little time checking out the other side of the camp. The first place I wanted to visit was the store of vendor extraordinnaire Greg Hudson of the Hudson Bay/Weeping Heart Trading Company. He was busy selling his heart out and chatting with Rachel Siegel and Blackheart Charlie when I stopped, so I didn't get a chance to talk with him. (No, he was not literally selling his heart out. Then he would have had to visit my table and I've got nothing for missing hearts.)

Photo: Mission The Hudson Bay Trading Company

Photo: Mission Greg and Sherry Selling to Rachel and Blackheart Charlie

So I visited with some other people. I came across Scarlett Jai and Pistol Pete who were talking with someone. It turned out to be Jai's dad! So now I have almost met the whole Scarlett Jai fam. (Except Jai's twin sister Lee Lee. I haven't met her. She sounds like a handful.) I also ran into Keith Collins, who was tugging a cannon behind him like a small boy pulling his wagon along the sidewalk. And I spent ten or fifteen minutes in Camp Wretched Excess, now famous for the luxurious couch, throne and table that the Port Royal Buccaneers bring to the event. Gus was holding court for Sandi Bilbo, Donna Stefinsky, Andrew Miller and Francois Lafitte. I chatted for a bit until I felt the pull of responsibility and went back to the Mercury camp.

Photo: Mission Pistol Pete, Scarlett Jai & Her Dad

Photo: Mission Keith: A Boy & His Cannon

Photo: Mission Gus Diamond & His Camp Wretched Excess

---

Photo: Mission's Camera
Saturday Battle Recip with Mission, Iron Jon & William
Soon, the boys of the Mercury crew started gathering their guns and other implements of war. This told me that it was time to cover the surgeon's table, grab my trusty weapon of surgery (the clyster syringe) and head for the battle field.

We actually didn't make it all the way there, however. Walking along the fort wall path, we ran into Wasabi, who was in charge of the pirate's small arms crew. He was standing in the last piece of shade you encounter before walking onto the barren, treeless expanse of the battle field. "We've still got ten minutes; no sense going out into the sun until we have to," he explained with a twinkle in his eye.

So we stood around and chatted with him. Here I got a chance to pose for my first reciprocal photo of the trip with a couple of tourists. Recip photos are usually a central feature of the Key West events, but this trip seemed to be a little less recip photo-oriented than the past for some reason. Ten minutes later, we headed out to the line of cannons arrayed along the waterside for the use of the pirate attackers.

Photo: Mission The Mercury Crew and Their Guns in Camp

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Larry Wasabi

Photo: Mission The Pirate Cannon Line on Saturday

Photo: Mission
Waiting on the Rocks (We look like we're praying for victory.)
The arrangement was different than yesterday. Since the pirates were lined up along the water's edge facing the fort, the British had their gun line parallel to the fort wall. I had thought about being on the British side today because it can be fun to mix things up. They were also scheduled to lose, which meant they would probably have a bunch of wounded soldiers for me to 'care' for. But the whole Mercury crew (except for Steve who was cooking back in camp) was out on the pirate side of the battle field. So I decided to stick with my crew.

The plan was explained. (We were to hide from view and run up to the cannons at 2pm. Then the cannon crews would fire the cannons until they ran out of charges. The small arms would support the cannons from either side and then charge forward and fire another volley or two. We would go over to the British side and capture the Viceroy and anyone who wasn't smart enough to play dead.)

Photo: Mission
Scarlett in Charge of the Flag
Explanation over, everyone milled around in plain view of the fort wall (where most of our audience was located) for a bit while the cannon crews did practice drills. Scarlett Jai suddenly announced that it was 10 minutes of 2 and ordered everyone to go hide along the shore, which is festooned with giant grey rocks. I noted that this was sort of ridiculous given that we had all just standing around in plain site a minute ago, but I said it sotto voce. (I'm serious; you won't see me crossing Scarlett Jai. No sir.)

I studiously avoided being given the pirate flag, even when Scarlett Jai tried to foist it upon me. As a result, she wound up holding it. This allowed me to yell at her, "Big flags, Scarlett! Big flags!" just as she had done to me yesterday. Her answer? "This
Photo: William Pace
The Surgeon Wandering Off
one keeps getting twisted up when I wave it!" "Yes, I know!"

Iron Jon had given William one of his blunderbusses which couldn't be fired for some reason. (Maybe it wasn't working properly. Maybe they didn't have powder. Maybe it was built with parts found inside a Kinder Egg. It's hard to say.) However, since William had a gun, he told me that he was going to be my bodyguard. I liked the idea of having a bodyguard. In fact, I really think we ought to make this a tradition.

The only trouble with being my bodyguard is that I like to wander around and take photos of the action since I have no useful role until people start to get wounded. (At least I don't so long as I don't accept that stupid flag.) So poor William had to keep traipsing behind me while I was taking photos if he wanted to stay in character. (My feeeet!)

Today's battle included a lot of cannon fire, punctuated loudly by El Jefe and his two brothers on the Brit side. Still, even with those big guns, the British had their script and a few dropped here and there. My victi- patients! The only problem is that I had to wait until the firing stopped so that I could cross the battle field. I probably should have been on their side after all.

Photo: Poppa Ratsey - The Saturday Battle Tableu as Seen From the Fort Wall

There were at least two ships on the water by the fort although I don't think they were there specifically in support of us. I think they were just hanging around to take advantage of the show as a way to give the tourists on board something interesting to look at.

Photo: Mission A Pirate On Shore and a Ship (This may be the Schooner Wolf)

Photo: Mission I believe these are the Schooner Wolf and Danger Charters

There was also a small group of pirates lead by Felicity who had a secret mission. Her role was to head a sneak attack on a deck gun that was parallel with the three larger British guns. Then she and her crew could heckle the Brits with flanking fire. So that happened. Unfortunately I don't have any photos of it happening, so you get the ones you see here - POV shots of the pirates facing the British.

Photo: William Pace The British Fire Their Big Guns at the Pirates

Photo: Mission Catalina de Alquezar & Lily Alexander Firing Their Cannons

Photo: William Pace
The Mercury Crew Advances Across the Field (A Bit Casually)
Finally most of the British soldiers were down and the pirates advanced across the field. Now I was going to be able to go and do some surgery! Some particularly energetic chaps ran across the field. I, being a pressed surgeon and professional man, decided not to run. Other members of the Mercury crew strolled with me.

It may be because we are men of bearing and dignity with the wisdom and experience to know that the defeated British will certainly wait until we get there to surrender. Or it may be that our wonderfully accurate period shoes hurt our feet a little bit because when they were designed, shoe-makers didn't know about arch support and the need for padding on the inside of shoes. Basically all you get for shoe bottoms is a stacked leather heel with two slabs of thick leather sitting atop them. (My feeeeeeet!) But I digress...

Photo: William Pace - Keith and Scarlett Run Across the Field to Get the Brits in a Way that is Exhausting to Just Think About

Photo: William Pace
The Surgeon Treats the Wounded. (Well he was ASKING for it!)
After reading several places about the reviving ability of tobacco enemas, I decided that that's what I would be using the clyster syringe for this year. (Which makes no sense, but we'll go with it anyhow.) If this were during the golden age of piracy, no doubt the local newspaper headline would read: Many Brits Saved Thanks to Brave Surgeon & Tobacco Clyster. (Provided they had a local newspaper and they could fit all that in the headline, of course.)

I began my treatments with Bawdy Be, because she was slumped across a cannon right near where I was. Except she got up as soon as I started coming over. We then had a discussion about her treatment, which is an unusual thing for a wounded soldier to do on the battlefield. I mean, you do want the surgeon to fix you, right? Finally, she agreed to resume her position on the cannon and treatment commenced.

Photo: William Pace Bawdy Be Discussing the Treatment

Photo: William Pace Bawdy Be Prepares For Treatment

Photo: William Pace And Receiving the Treatment!

After that, I didn't know what to do next. There was a plethora of wounded! (Yes, that word does mean what I think it means.)

Photo: William Pace Some Dramatically Wounded Brits

Photo: William Pace Keith Iritski Playing Dead

Photo: William Pace It's Difficult to Treat People With an Audience

I had given William my camera since he was my bodyguard (and his gun couldn't be fired). Plus it's sort of hard to get good photos of the use of the clyster syringe when you're the one wielding it. William is actually a better photographer than I am, so he got some other photos of the capture of the British that I thought I'd share here.

Photo: William Pace The Author Gleefully Surveys the Carnage

Photo: William Pace Fenris Captures Francois

Photo: William Pace The Looting of the Dead - A SJ Reader Favorite

The Viceroy was captured and led off to the fort where I assume he was chastised and/or locked in stocks. Based on his behavior during the battle, he pretty much deserved it.

Photo: Poppa Viceroy 1

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Viceroy Salutes Fort 2

Photo: Poppa Viceroy Salutes Fort 3

Photo: Poppa Viceroy 4

Photo: Poppa Viceroy Salutes Fort 5

Photo: Mission Scarlett Captures the Viceroy While the Crew Mills About

Photo: Mission Leading the Viceroy Off to Humiliate Him (Note madPete's Mercury Tattoo)

Photo: Mission
Park Manager John Maehl
For my part, I tottered back across the field of battle because I had seen a bunch of fort personnel gathered on the other side. I knew one of them must be the Fort Zachary Taylor Park Manager John Maehl, so I asked Lily which one he was. She pointed him out.

The reason I was looking for him was that Lily had earlier told me that he had asked her why I was carrying a cake decorator on the field. I wanted to make sure I set the record straight. (Plus I wanted to get a photo of him holding it for this very part of the Journal. I know what you guys want to see.)

So I presented myself to him and handed him the clyster syringe.

"Do you know what that is?" I asked.
"I'm not sure I want to," John replied.
"No, you probably don't, but I'm going to tell you anyhow."

He was a good sport about it and even posed nice for the photo. Great guy.

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