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Fort Taylor Pyrate Invasion Nov/Dec 2012 - Key West, FL
Chapter 9th: Saturday Evening - Of encountering rogue gate-tenders on the author's return; What's up with Rusty Nell; The Dead Man's Chest Auction; Several strange asides about animals that appear to have nothing whatsoever to do with Saturday evening; The author's contribution to the auction and why he wound up with it himself; The singing in Ole Zach's Tavern and Hanging around with the Mercury crew.
Photo: Mission
Bloody Historical, Being Hard on the Poor Old Surgeon
I returned to the condo to update the journal and shower. I then climbed on my bike and headed for the fort. At the gate were the crew of Bloody Historical: d. m. atlas, Keith and Cindi West Iritsky. They demanded my papers and wouldn't open the gate. They adopted threatening poses, with Keith sticking his sword through the chain links by way of threat. (Although this wasn’t very effective; all I had to do was stay a few feet back unless he suddenly decided to open the gate and run me through.)
This reminded me of an astute observation Mae had made the evening before when we were fishing about for our gate passes. "It doesn't really matter whether you find it. If the people at the gate know you, they're going to give you a hard time either way." Then she looked at me significantly. (I can't imagine why.) They finally let me in (I did have my pass) so I parked my bike and toddled in to the fort.
Photo: Mission
Rusty Nell and Cannibal Chrispy
I had a chance to chat with Rusty Nell, Cannibal Chrispy's wife. She is one of those incredibly genuine people and I hadn't seen her in years, so she filled me in on her recent doings. She was just finishing up her first
official music CD as Terry Lynn Melody. She told me what style of music she plays, but her explanation confused me. I believe it was something like American folk. She explained that on her 40th birthday, she took stock of her life and asked herself if she was ever going to finish anything she started. Being a singer in the Second Life online universe, and having written a library of songs, she decided to finish that project by making her first music CD.
Nell cautioned me that it was a lot of work. "It's not just simply going in to a studio and recording." (She said this with utmost seriousness, as if I was going to suddenly up and decide to make a music CD based on our conversation.) Her Second Life fans apparently paid to be in her virtual audience (including the ever-interesting Prince of Pirates Patrick Hand.) She used this money to bootstrap her CD project. She has leaked some of her songs and they have made it onto FM radio in places as far away as England, Germany and Australia.
Photo: Mission
Ya got trouble,
Right here in River city!
In the main tent, Scarlett Jai started making a speech about the importance of the auction. She talked about all the people working at the fort as well as behind the scenes. She explained how the Dead Man's Chest auction was a part in raising money to support the work going on fort.
It was a very interesting speech. From it, I learned is that the fort was due to receive a whole bunch of their American Civil War artifacts that had been recovered there in the late 1960s and early 70s. I guess after they were recovered the park system decided to send them all over the state to other American Civil War era forts that had museums. Now they were getting a bunch of them back including one of the few, if not the only, water desalinization machine from that time period.
The Friends of Fort Taylor are now trying to raise money to create a museum or place in the park where they could display these treasures.
Photo: Mission
Chrispy with Don Maitz's Painting of Captain emM Organ
After that our auctioneers Chrispy and William Red Wake were introduced and the auction got going. The first thing that was auctioned was a painting Don Maitz had made of someone who (for copyright reasons) Cannibal
Photo: Mission
Auctioning a Band Member
Chrispy called "Captain Organ." This was appropriate given that Don Maitz had painted the original Captain emM... Organ, so this fetched $300.
Things went along well from there, with William and Chrispy auctioning all sorts of thing from a member of the Brigands to an "almost" full case of beer that Chrispy proved was in good working order by drinking one, to a sword that was made of wood. We know this because William was asked repeatedly what is was made of and he kept telling us, "It's made of wood." He eventually started telling us it was made of wood without anyone even asking.
It was one of the better auctions I've seen for raising cash for the Friends of Fort Taylor. They got $10 for a pair of turkey legs and the same amount for, I kid you not, a pair of frozen goat balls.
 Photo: Mission William Auctioning Turkey Legs |
 Photo: Don Dunbar We Have An "Almost" Full Case of Beer |
 Photo: Don Dunbar"It's made of WOOD." |
 Photo: Mission Keith and Lily at the Pay Table - Keith Greedy, Lily Happy |
 Photo: Wendy WellmanmadPete Thinking He's Won, Michelle Thinking He Hasn't |
Photo: Mission
Chrispy Auctioning Off the Goat's Balls
Now, I want to pause to give you an aside about the goat. He is going to be cooked tomorrow for the Sunday Night Feast (formerly the Pig Roast, now the Pig and Goat roast.) Goat is a wonderful choice of meats given that many privateers and pirates stopped at Juan Fernandez Island which was well stocked with goats. While there, English sailors would kill and salt goats to replenish their supplies as well as provide the men with fresh goat meat.
This was possible because some forward-thinking captain had left a bunch of live goat on the island in the 16th or early 17th century. The goat did what came naturally and populated the island. These goats also provided the marooned sailor Alexander Selkirk - the model for Robinson Crusoe - with dancing partners while he was stranded there. (Just dancing. As far as you or I know.) So pirates and goats go way back.
Photo: Mission
"They were right here a minute ago..."
Flash forward to earlier this year. I like to say silly things (which, if you are reading this, you already realize) - it is a skill at which I excel and I feel it's wise to play to your strengths. So I started talking either on Facebook or at the Pyracy Pub forums about how Brig and I were going to bring a live goat to the Fort Taylor Pyrate Invasion this year. (Brig actually had nothing to do with this, I just drug her in.) I did this primarily to try and exasperate Lily Alexander. (It really doesn't take that much effort, but being an artist, I like to take pride in the things I do.)
Then I forgot about the whole silly thing. However, this idiot joke had legs (so to speak.) It planted the kernel of an idea in either Lily or Scarlett's mind and now we're having goat for dinner. (Too bad your vegetarian surgeon can't try some. I'd really like to sample the goat. Seriously.) So that's where the frozen goat balls came from. They are, no doubt, a delicacy in some South Pacific Island where the natives worship iguanas.
Photo: Mae Harrington
Orange Iguana - Fort Wall
Photo: Diane Mueller
Orange Iguana Up Close
Speaking of iguanas (what the hell, we’re way off track anyhow), they, like the goats of Juan Fernandez Island, have been fruitful and multiplied during their time spent in Key West. (You may recall we saw a few of them last year on the fort wall. Now there are more!)
When Cannibal Chrispy and I were walking back from the battlefield on Friday, he pointed several out to me on the fort wall. I had a hard time seeing them because there are rust spots on the wall and many of the iguanas are a bright orange! Mae told me this is because they are in heat. My the things you don't learn!
Photo: Borrowed
This is Apparently What a Happy Snake Looks Like (See the smile?)
Mae also told me that she had rescued a frog, which resulted in her getting frog goo all over her hands. (Saturday night account? Who cares? Let’s ride the digression train and see where it goes!) She did this because she had accidentally knocked an iguana off a tree while walking on the Mae Snake trail and was seeking good karma.
Those of you who have been reading along with me for years will recall that Mae used to be the Assistant Supervisor or Reptiles at a wildlife education center. She told me that she has a large snake which she rescued from a guy who smoked a lot and didn't feed the snake well. Mae reported that the snake is now fat and healthy. I guess when you're a snake, being fat is healthy. After this weekend of Key West restaurants, I have a feeling that I am going to do snakes proud.
Photo: Mission
The Condemned to Chains Forever POTC Model
I wanted to see one thing in the auction. (Remember the auction? No? Go back a few paragraphs.) I had put an original 1972 Pirates of the Caribbean Condemned to Chains Forever Snap Action! skeleton model kit in and I wanted to see how much it fetched. It is a complete kit in a somewhat damaged box. All the model parts are still in the bag and all the original instructions and advertising documents were still in there. I was unsure whether anyone would recognize its value so I was curious to see what happened when it came up for auction..
Diosa bid $50 for it. Then nothing. So I bid $60. She bid $70. I bid $75, because that's what I'd paid for it. I wanted to fort to get its value, you see. Unfortunately, I won it. (And I had no idea what to do with it. I can't stand the thought of taking it out of the original packaging. What a geek I am.) I asked Diosa why she was bidding on it and she told me that it was because she was a Disney collector. So I ended up giving it to her and told her to donate something to the Friends for it.
The action went long and an awful lot of money was raised. It was better than any previous Dead Man's Chest auction I had seen. We all cheered at the end of it.
Photo: Mission's Camera
My Favorite Photo From FTPI 2012
After the auction was over, Scarlett Jai announced that she was going over to Ole' Zach's Tavern. Mae and I decided to go and check it out. There was some very disorganized singing happening in the Tavern. It was all candlelit and several people were sitting around listening to Dutch sing rambling sailor songs from the stage. When Dutch finished there would be silence. A guy sitting off to the side
Photo: Mission
The Table of the Guy Who Forgot the Words
would occasionally start a song and lose his way after a few verses; he always seemed to either run out of or forget the rest of the lyrics.
Mamasabi and Wasabi came in and things picked up a bit. They had brought the Brigand's official songbook with them and were trying out various melodies from that. Then the Brigand's themselves appeared and things really sparked. I don't want to diss anyone else singing, but you can really hear the difference when folks who do it for a living start singing. Still, sailors probably would have been like rambling, lost line singers, so it was kind of neat either way.
I took several photos of the tavern, but I didn't want to use the flash because it spoiled the mood of the place, so they naturally came out grainy. (Is that a person? A lamp? A velociraptor?) Nevertheless, I am putting the best of them in here because I have them. I know you expect little better. (Which is really your fault when you think about it.)
 Photo: Mission A Non-Flash Images from the Tavern |
 Photo: MissionAnother Non-Flash Images from the Tavern |
Photo: Mission
This One I Like Not So Much
From there Mae and I went back to the Mercury crew site where several people were sitting around
chatting. Stynky appeared and then it got sort of loud. He brought out the best in Silkie, Captain Jim and
Adam Cyphers when it came to rowdiness and volume.
Photo: Mission
Don Maitz Wondering Why Everyone Is
Excited About Him Wearing this Hat
He also insisted that we get a photo of Captain emM Organ artist Don Maitz wearing the Patrick Hand Original™ Planter's Hat. After that was accomplished, Mae and I went back to the Tavern where she started playing her finger cymbals (which she later told me are actually called zills or zajats by those who know better) in time with the music.
After sitting in the pub for a while, we returned to the Mercury camp where it was still going strong and rowdy. Mae and Deborah Jane Rice of the Archangels got cold, so Captain Jim wrapped them in the Mercury Flag - which happens to be made of wool. Scarlett Jai came over and, very nicely, asked us to please shut the hell up. (I'm surprised Silkie let us get away with it for so long based on last night, to be honest.) I was becoming quite tired by this time anyhow, so I decided to call it a night.
 Photo: Mission Mae & Deborah in Our Flag |
 Photo: Mission Talking About Switching to the Crew With the Warmer Flag |
 Photo: MissionMae's Feet (How Should I Know?) |