Chapter Selection Menu: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 E Next>>
Fort Taylor Pyrate Invasion Nov/Dec 2012 - Key West, FL
Chapter 13th: Sunday evening, part I - Speaking of the saner part of the evening, although you won't believe that by the time you get to the end of it. Of how the surgeon dropped right off the wagon when tempted; Several 'Plus Mission' photos; Of Klaus, the German Santa pirate; The Order of the Stynky Sponge Ceremony, followed by the Order of the Pie in the Face Ceremony, followed by a pie fight, followed by more prattling by the author about his pet key lime pie fight project; DB Couper and Anne Marie renew their nuptials; Dinner is served and Delving into the mind of Wendy.
Photo: Mission
The Glenfiddich. (Why? What are you looking at?)
I totally fell off the wagon tonight because Beowulf had brought Glenfiddich 12 year old and it was Sunday night at the event and I just decided to. Iron Jon had rather absentmindedly placed the Glenfiddich on the table – conveniently located near my left elbow. Now, I have been talking throughout the entire last year in these Journals about how I wasn't drinking for a year, something I decided to do on December 16, 2011. It was December 1st. I licked my lips. I had almost made it a whole year, but it was 12 y.o. Glenfiddich. It was only two weeks early. I can resist anything except temptation, so I decided to forge ahead and poured myself a cup of Scot's nectar.
As I mentioned previously, Stynky, Braze and Cascabel joined us at our table and we all feasted on Iron Jon's cuisine while I feasted on scotch. Braze and Stynky asked for some of the golden liquor, so I poured them some. Braze took a sip and then roared and asked someone to put some water or something in it. "If you're not going to drink it straight, pour it into my cup!" And he did. Stynky asked for ice, but I talked him down from that ledge too. Twelve year old single malt scotch and ice. I mean to say!
Photo: madPete
The Surgeon Examining Wendy's Calves
Getting a bit happy, I grabbed madPete and asked him if he would take some Plus Mission photos for me. I wandered around, grabbing people I knew well enough to pose with. You can see the results of that in the photos below.
We eventually came across Wendy Wellman who is game for anything. After the photo, she started babbling about how madPete was insulting her calves. I immediately recognized that I had somehow gotten in the middle of something, the first part of which I hadn't been privy to and my best bet was to play it light. My comment? "I didn't even know you kept cattle." (madPete laughed.)
Recognizing a likely pair of loons, Wendy and Youngblood walked back to the Mercury tables with us, joining the rest of the gang.
 Photo: madPete Mission Plus Zak |
 Photo: madPete Mission Plus Wendy |
 Photo: madPete Mission Plus Deadeye |
 Photo: madPete Mission Plus Brig |
Photo: madPete
Caribbean Pearl, Mission and Klaus. Plus, Plus Mission
I also posed for a Plus Mission photo with Caribbean Pearl as you see in the photograph at right. "Who else shall we get?" madPete asked. I replied that that was enough; a little of the whole Plus Mission gag goes a long way. I mean a LONG way. While posing with Caribbean Pearl, I learned that she was heading overseas to Saipan to live and would not be back to the FTPI event until at least 2014. Her husband got a job over there, apparently so he could play with snakes. (Pearl's husband, Ron, got his PhD in Snake Studies or something like that and now makes his living working with them. He has worked in Northwestern Guam and is now moving on to Saipanese Vipers. (I made that up. I have no clue why he is going over there.))
You may also have noticed that someone else dropped in on that last Plus Mission photo to add his face (or perhaps better stated, 'to make a face.') That would be Klaus, our ersatz FTPI Kris Kringle, who brings all sorts of German goodies to the event to share with his fellow pirates.
Speaking of Klaus, let's speak of Klaus.
Photo: Poppa Ratsey
Klaus & Caribbean Pearl - The Merpeople
I asked him for a Kinder Egg this year after he dropped into my photo, but he told me he had given them all away. I whined about this for a bit and he finally promised to bring me one next year. (I want one not so much because I like them – I've never had them. I want one because it may contain an engineering project like the one Michelle and Wendy worked on last year.)
Klaus told me that he has been involved in pirate reenacting since 2006. He became interested in doing pirate gigs after seeing them in movies and at Renaissance Festivals. Someone told me that he owned Pirates Magazine, so I asked him about it. He explained that his wife is the one who actually owns it. Like Klaus's interest in pirates, the magazine has been around since 2006 and is published by Gwynn Oak Studios. Gwynn Oak also publishes another magazine about Fairies which has been around since 2004. Klaus told me, “Since I make a pretty lame fairy, I was glad to become a pirate!” (Now there's a mental picture that's going to leave a mark.)
Photo: Mission
Klaus and His Dear Friend
Klaus lives in Baltimore with his wife where he works for the German Government. He still visits Germany regularly, which is how we get all the German goodies at FTPI. He noted that while people who like to dress up over there are more into Renaissance Festival garb, pirates are starting to catch on.
Klaus told me that while he wasn't into what he called “serious reenacting” (which I took to mean 'dressing in period accurate clothing') he thought he might create a character some day in the future. Personally, I think one of the great things about FTPI is that you really don't have to have a period correct character, although I always like seeing people stretch their wings a bit. Klaus said the things he liked best about FTPI were being with friends and enjoying everyone's company. “With the right people any festival will be great fun.”
Photo: Mission
The Viceroy Approaches His Victims with the Stynky Sponge
After that, the chaos began over in the not-Mercury tent. Several curious ceremonial things occurred like inducting people into the Order of the Stinky Sponge... er, the Order of St. Barbara.
This is actually a trick played upon people new to cannon firing. You play it after you have begged them to join cannon crews because you're short-handed. Once they have fired a cannon for their first time, they must be inducted by having the stynky sponge swathed all over their face (or sometimes elsewhere at the Viceroy's whim). Like a fraternity initiation, you have to do it because we all had to do it.
 Photo: Mission Viceroy Inducting Francois Lafitte |
 Photo: Mission Viceroy Inducting Catalina De Alquezar |
 Photo: MissionThugs With Dirty Mugs (and the Viceroy) |
Photo: Mission
"You Challenge Me to a WHAT?"
There was also the Viceroy's induction into the Order of the Pie in the Face Club. I was told that a great deal of time was spent trying to figure out how to convince Lawrence, who plays the Viceroy, not to wear his wig to dinner because they didn't want to ruin it with pie filling. I don't know how they did it, but I just thought it was an interesting logistical problem that I wanted to share.
Photo: Mission
The Viceroy & Spike Square Off
The Induction somehow led to a mini-pie fight between the Viceroy and Spike (not the bunny), which I am damned sorry not to have seen up close. This plays right into my key lime pie fight idea. You may recall that I mentioned talking with the Key Lime Pie Company about staging a Key Lime Pie fight and they LOVED this idea.
So this is Mission's mission for next year: get the Key Lime Pie fight on the schedule so everyone can enjoy picking graham cracker crust out of their garb. (Don't forget! Mae was looking for clothes to wash this year! We have to do our bit to help her out, now, don't we?) I am going to talk and talk and talk about this until I can warm Lily and Scarlett to the idea since they do not yet appear to be fans of it. Yet.
 Photo: Caribbean Pearl The Pie Duel as Seen From One Side |
 Photo: Wendy Wellman Spike Declaring Himself the Winner Somehow. (What's His Criteria?) |
Photo: Jim McGavic
DB and Anne Marie Seal the Deal With a Kiss
After all that silliness, DB Couper and his recent bride Anne Marie renewed their vows (of a month or two ago). I didn't actually see most of this because I was off wandering around posing for Plus Mission Photos when it was going on, but I can imagine it was touching and wonderful.
DB and I had been chatting on Saturday when he told me the story of their marriage. As DB explained it, he proposed to Anne Marie while they were flying to Hawaii earlier this year by announcing it over the plane's PA. He arranged to have chocolates and flowers ready at the military hotel where they were staying on the island. (DB is a former US Navy service member, which I didn't know before.) He got some champagne and the people running the military base sent up champagne and the hotel sent up a bottle of champagne. So I'm guessing they floated out of that room. They spent three weeks in Hawaii, honeymooning.
Photo: Mission
Three of the Main Event Organizers
Scarlett Jai then made a nice speech thanking everyone who had helped, particularly Mama Ratsey and Lily Alexander. She thanked everyone she could think of, including me for working on the website and not starting a pie fight. We all cheered. Lily and Mama Ratsey got up and said some nice things about the event and the people who show up to reenact and make it happen and it was warm fuzzies all around.
Then dinner was officially served after the lighting of the goat. Somehow Braze and Cascabel were involved in this and, even though I was standing right there while it was being set up, I have no idea why that was. Fire. Braze and Cascabel. I guess it just works.
Being so strategically placed, the folks from the Mercury tent were near the front of the line. (William has already asked that we get the same position in the camp next year.) Dinner was delicious and hot and included at least four different kinds of meat, including the goat. I wish I could have tried the goat. Although I didn't mind breaking my alcohol promise a little early, I knew that if I started eating meat, I'd only regret that the next day. (And since I was already indulging in one vice that I was going to regret, I couldn't see making it worse.) Speaking of breaking my alcohol promise, DB Couper and Anne Marie had a bet, which she won, that I would break my alcohol pact this weekend. (How I rate a DB/AM bet is something I can't quite fathom.)
 Photo: Mission Cascabel, Charlie, Braze, Keith, Someone I don't Know and the Goat |
 Photo: Jim McGavic Cascabel and Braze Set the Goat Alight |
Photo: Mission
Youngblood and Wendy
We all sat around chatting after dinner and I finished off the Glenfiddich. I spent a lot of this slightly fuzzy period talking with madPete, Wendy and Youngblood. We were talking about Youngblood not having to be in school and so forth when, according to my notebook, on which I must rely because... it's all so fuzzy... Wendy said to Youngblood, "We don't bring up your parole officer in public!" Somehow that doesn't seem as funny now as it did at the time, but we were roaring about it.
Wendy got hold of my little notebook and promised to write some good things in it, most of which I couldn't make head nor hair of when I first looked at them. So let's look at them here and try to guess the meaning and context. "'Kid table'" OK, that one I get - it's a reference to the fact that we were sitting off to the side, away from the main group.
Photo: Mission
However Pronounced, Lady Barbara
Says It Cures What Ails Ya'
"Ant made food." Hmm. Oh! Ant was the name everyone kept calling Bartleby Boom for some reason. He helped make the food for the feast. You may recall him as the guy who borrowed my bone saw to cut the pig.
I ran into him again on Monday morning and he was still boasting about cutting through that knuckle in 23 seconds! When he cut
Photo: Mission
The Pig Roast Crowd in the Main Tent
the first one, it took him longer and he decided to see how fast he could do it on the second. That's when he set what he felt was the record.
"Glenfidick." I believe this is a comment on the fact that I kept correcting people who were pronouncing it ‘Glen Fid-ditch.' I am pretty sure the pronunciation is the way I stated. (Otherwise I wouldn't have stated it that way. See how that works?)
I also have some pictures of Michelle/Diosa as a Mayan Princess on Sunday night that I wanted to be sure and get in here for those of you with children. You can use them to teach addition and why it is not always a good thing.
 Photo: Mission Michelle and Wendy... |
 Photo: Mission ...Plus Stynky ... |
 Photo: Mission ...Plus Chrispy Equals A Bad Thing! Now For Subtraction... |
Photo: Jim McGavic
While all this was going on, Jack and Brig had gone back to their encampment and changed into street clothes in an effort to get ready for an early departure tomorrow or something. (Actually, this really doesn't make a lot of sense given what followed, but I'm getting ahead of myself.) I learned this when I made my way over to Brig and Jack's tent. Jack was in one of the chairs while Brig was sitting Indian-style on the ground. So I sat next to her.
"Why so glum, chum?" I asked.
She sighed heavily and explained.
"I was just thinking about that time when Jack and I were vacationing in the northwestern corner of Guam and Stynky appeared dressed up like a naked headhunter. He was running around telling us the sky was falling and then *smack* in front of us a plane crashed and we thought he might be prescient. Fortunately the local surgeon had something in his medicine chest for prescience and Stynky was cured.
Good old Guam... Bad old Stynky..."
Now you too can be cured of prescience if only you goes to your local Avis store and ask it for the cure. Also have a good bleeding and cupping while you go! Avis! For all the imaginary medical needs!