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Fort Taylor Pyrate Invasion Nov/Dec 2012 - Key West, FL
Epilogue: Recognition of the fine photographers who allowed me to use their work; What turned up after scraping the bottom of the image barrel; Some more images of kids; What twins do to torture one another; An attempt to create a stupid new regular feature and Lob. Of course Lob. Why not Lob? Just because he wasn't there doesn't mean he shouldn't be in the Journal. Eli Wallach wasn't there and HE is in the Journal several times. You know?
Photo: Caribbean Pearl
Another Wistful End of a Journal
Photo: Mission
My Rope Sandals
I usually face the end of a Journal with mixed feelings. On the one hand, the thing is finally done, but on the other now I have to find something to do with all my spare time. (Such a problem, right?) Luckily I can drag these things out with the Epilogue Page which gives me the opportunity to take one more gander through the photos.
Before we get to that, there are two orders of business to deal with. The first is to honor my rope sandals, which you can see in the photo at right. Had I not had them, I probably would have been wearing tennis shoes all weekend. I thank Mark Gist for making me want them, thank Michael Bagley for leading me to the store where I could buy them and thank my lucky stars I didn't leave them at home like I started to do. They kept me comfortably shod for most of the weekend after my period shoes chewed the hell out of my heels. Well done, thou good and faithful servants.
William Red Wake  Photo: Wendy Wellman |
The other order of business is to thank all the photographers who generously allowed me to use their photographs in the Surgeon's Journal this year. I am grateful to everyone who takes the time to capture moments and allows me to use them. |
Diane Mueller  Photo: Poppa Ratsey |
Wendy Wellman  Photo: Mission |
Capt. Jim McGavic  Photo: Mission |
Jaded Jetty  Photo: Poppa Ratsey |
'mad' Peter Chaaps  Photo: Wendy Wellman |
Caribbean Pearl  Photo: Don Dunbar |
Don Dunbar  Photo: Poppa Ratsey |
Rachel Siegel  Photo: BHC |
Mission Photo: Diane Mueller |
Mae Harrington  Photo: Klaus |
Poppa Ratsey  Photo: Mission |
This brings us to the usual mix of chaff and wheat that I stick on the last page of all Surgeon's Journals. Most of these are photos that I decided didn't quite fit the narrative or made the page too long, but which I still like and want to include in the Journal. (Because then they are mine. Our preciouses. We wants the precious photos, we does.) Let's start off with some shots of people. As always, ladies first (with one gentleman).
 Photo: Lady Chaos Carol Lady Chaos Carol on Cannon Balls |
 Photo: Wendy Wellman A Splendid Shot of Lily Alexander and Keith/Edward |
 Photo: Mission A Tourista in Camp |
Followed by the gentleman. (Well, 'men' anyhow. Or maybe just 'boys in costume.')
 Photo: Don Dunbar Commander Spike and his Cannon |
 Photo: Poppa Ratsey Wrecker DB Couper at Home |
 Photo: Poppa Ratsey Roderic Hawkins, Buccaneer |
And then we have a group of people giving the camera sass. For some reasons pictures of sass appealed to your ship's surgeon this trip. So enjoy them.
 Photo: Mission Chrispy & Cannibuss |
 Photo: Poppa Ratsey Barnacle Beau |
 Photo: Don Dunbar Major Mayhem, Ever Full of Sass |
 Photo: Poppa Ratsey Brig, Almost Pulling Off Sass |
There were also a number of photos of places that I liked and had planned to use in the main Journal, but found they weren't really needed. So I sifted through the 'Places' folder and plucked six favorites to stick here in the Epilogue. The first three photos are from around the fort. (Note that the Double Oar House is called that because it is supported by two oars. The joke behind this was funnier when it had a single oar. (You haveta' say the name out loud to get it...))
 Photo: Jim McGavic Captain Jim's Flag Over the Encampment |
 Photo: Mission Captain Jim's Double Oar House |
 Photo: Don Dunbar The Cannon in the Corner Rampart |
Then there was a campfire shot and some interesting shots of places outside the fort.
 Photo: Mission One of the Sunday Night Campfires |
 Photo: Mission I Suspect This Was Done on Purpose... |
 Photo: William Red Wake Ships in the Deep Green Sea |
And that's about as much serious stuff as the Journal can bear. On to the usual lunacy.
Let's begin with some random photos. (I know, the whole Journal seems like an assembly of random photos, but humor me.) The first bunch are sort of loosely associated with the battles.
 Photo: Rachel Siegel "Hekinah degul. Tolgo phonac! Langro dehul san." |
 Photo: Rachel Siegel NOT a Good Place to Stand |
 Photo: Mission Wendy Protesting War at the Battle |
Then there were a series of discussions to which I cannot resist applying some pop-culture quotes, all involving word usage - something your author enjoys.
There were also a interesting 'uses of or for objects' photos.
 Photo: Mission Cutter Picks His Teeth with his Swordfish Bill Sword |
 Photo: Mission The Viceroy with a Bucket on His Head. (Put-in-Bay anyone?) |
 Photo: Mission Archangel's QM and Captain Accessing the Ship's Database |
 Photo: Mission Klaus and Keg - Showing Us How It's Done |
Of course there were all sorts of interesting behaviors, the subject of the next series of images. (Admittedly, this is a really weak excuse to group photos together, but if you wanted Shakespeare you'd be reading that, not wasting your time with this drivel.)
 Photo: Mission "You're sure it's not poison Rum Cake?" |
 Photo: Jim McGavic "Those kids and their damned Rock-and-Roll music!" |
 Photo: Jaded Jetty "Don't move or I'll fall over." "I won't; I can't feel my legs." |
 Photo: Mission Don Maitz paints Captain emM... Organ for the Auction. |
 Photo: Mission Chrispy's 'Get Out of Hell Free' Card. (Nell said it won't work.) |
 Photo: Jaded Jetty I really have no idea what this is about, but it looks funny. (Zatara and Cutter in a Snuggie.) |
 Photo: Mission Sunday Night - Jack is Too Sexy for his Shirt. (OK, come up with a better caption if you don't like it!) |
Then again, if you wanted Shakespeare - or a reasonable facsimile thereof - you just might be reading this. I mentioned the Hokey Pokey lessons from the fort wall on Facebook and Diosa was concerned that it might not happen again, so I wanted to reiterate that bit so we can all be sure and enjoy it as she does it again in 2013. In the meanwhile, here's a Shakespearean style version of the Hokey Pokey that's started making the rounds on the internet. While I usually abhor pictures of words, this just seems to belong here. The original was written by Jeff Brechlin is a winning entry in 'The Style Invitational,' The Washington Post's weekly humor/wordplay contest. I've little doubt we'll all get to hear Michelle, Scarlett Jai and Wendy Wellman reciting this very thing next year atop the fort wall.
 Photo: Don Dunbar Diosa Doing the Hokey Pokey |
 Photo: Grammerly.com Explaineth Thy Terpsichore Well |
 Photo: Poppa Ratsey Scarlett & Friends Putting Their Right Arms In |
Photo: Mission
Stynky's stolen mug... Or Not.
There is one story to tell that I just plain forgot to put into the Journal from Saturday night. I realized this when I was culling the images and came across the one you see at left. So let's go through that.
Mae and I strolled into the Mercury Camp after coming from the Ole Zach's and Iron Jon handed me a big round mug.
"That's not mine." I told him.
"Braze said to give it to you."
I couldn't make heads or tails of it. Why would Braze give me a Franklin Stove-shaped mug? I asked Jon about it again and he just repeated that Braze told him to give the mug to me.
I suddenly remembered that Stynky had been griping about not being able to find his mug that morning as we all left for the Sarah. He had gone off to buy another one. So this must be Stynky's mug! Braze was giving me a gift to make up for helping Stynky by shooting my mug!
I was delighted with this, although I had no idea what to do with it. Torturing other people over mugs is Stynky's speciality, not mine. Minutes after I figured out what I had, almost as if on cue, Stynky appeared in the Mercury encampment. He recognized the mug immediately and started trying to grab it from me. I wouldn't give. I decided the first thing I had to do was photograph this prize for the Journal after he gave up trying to take it away. So I held out my hand and looked through the camera viewfinder... and between the time I had pressed the camera button and the flash went off, Stynky had snatched it away! So the photo you see there was almost a photo of me in possession of Stynky's mug. (Braze was very disappointed in me when he heard about all this.)
Now Sunday was Kid's Day and there were a lot of kids in the park as you may recall from some of the photos I posted. I didn't post very many because I am just not used to this event being kid-oriented. While I was looking through my photos, I noticed that I had some pretty good ones of kids that probably should have gone into that chapter, but which hadn't. So I'm putting them here.
First I want to add a bunch of Keira, Brig's daughter - or Angry Bird if you like that cognomen. The first one is something I made for twin Mae because everyone knows that pictures may be worth a thousand words, but they're no good on Facebook if you don't paste a few of those words on them.
 Photo: Mission & Mae Harrington Keira at the Fort Wall with M. Twain |
 Photo: Mission A Picture That Would Make Any Pirate Mother Proud |
 Photo: Mission Keira Playing with Period Blocks |
I also found also some good, non-Keira photos of kids. (I know, it's hard to believe.) The first one is of Robertsgrave Thighbiter Tattooing a small girl to the delight of her father. (This was before Rob got the needle out to finish the job.) The next is of two children sitting on the wall of the fort watching the Sunday battle. The last is of Sandi Bilbo offering hard tack to a young girl.
 Photo: Mission "That may even come off!" |
 Photo: Mission French Family Watching the Battle |
 Photo: Jaded Jetty "If pirates were really BAD, they fed them this. Try some!" |
So I'm sure you all want to know what it's like growing up a twin. You're probably thinking is it either all fun and games like in The Parent Trap or mysterious ill-lit experiments like on The Pretender. Or maybe you're wondering, 'is there a link and bond and so forth?' Well, I am here to share the darker side of twinness. Yes, it can now be revealed. It all started so innocently. Well, sort of.
I found the image of Mae that you see below left and thought it was funny (in a bad way), so I posted it on Mae's Facebook wall. (You're already getting your first glimpse of the dark side here.)
Mae replied, "Ask Brig what she did when she saw this pic. Just ask her!"
So I said, "Alice Shana Brig Anna-Maria Julian Fries Mason, what did you do after you saw this pic?"
She answered that she had sent Mae the picture below center.
Then Brig said, "Ask her about my payback. Go on, ask her!"
:"Well, how about it, Mae Jana Winnifred Aberforth Lucile Potrzebie Harrington III?"
Mae explained, "She said she looked like she had a witch tooth in one of her pictures [Below right.].
 Photo: Poppa Ratsey |
 Photo: I dunno. Dian Fossey? |
 Photo: Poppa Ratsey |
Mae continued "So I said, like this?" And then she sent the image seen below right to Brig.
Feeling left out, I posted the Eraserhead photo of me seen below center and within seconds Brig posted the owl photo below left.
Friends, that's what being twins can be like.
 Photo: A Nature Site? |
 Photo: Mission |
 Photo: Couldn't say |
And now here's something we hope you'll really like! Some of you may have noticed that I like to stick pop references into the text. (Actually, I do it a lot more often than you've probably noticed. If I hear something interesting or even something dull said in an interesting way in a movie or TV show, it sticks in my head and gets repeated when anything even close to being relevant comes up. OK, sometimes it doesn't even have to be that close.)
Anyhow, I have added images from scenes which I've stolen borrowed from the original material which matches lines used in this very Surgeon's Journal that I borrowed stole. (This convenient grouping of images will allow lawyers for large media companies looking for image pirates to find me easier.)
If you want to see where the how the image seen below ties into the journal, you can click on the image and a new tab will open directing you to that exact part of the Journal. (Well, more or less.) Fun, what? (Movie lawyers, you can contact me by emailing dropdead@thebottomoftheocean.com. Thanks.)
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So how was that? Great stuff or what? Yeah you're probably right. But I have to keep trying new things. It keeps these Journals 'fresh.'
BTW, if you're trying to figure out what the last image of Jeep goes to, it goes to itself. See, that's a photo of the side of Iron Jon's Jeep which doesn't really appear anywhere in the Journal except here. So you can stop clicking on that now. Unless you enjoy participating in infinite loops, of course.
Since we're nearing the end of this Journal, I want to close out with some images of stuff that I enjoyed. (Maybe you thought it was stupid when you saw it the first time, but it's my Journal, so I'm going to put them in here.)
The first are images from gate duty.
 Photo: Mission Sansanee Doing Gate Duty Under the Table (Because It Was Raining) |
 Photo: Jim McGavic Brig and I have a cigar Duel. Click on this link to hear the banjo theme from Deliverance. |
 Photo: Jim McGavic This cannot possibly end well. I'll bet we both ended up on the ground. |
Now for the very last group of epilogue photos. First we have a lantern at night. Why? Because we always have a lantern pic taken at night. I don't know why, but everyone should now be happy.
Next is the Owl. Yay for the Owl!
After that we have Spike the Pirate Bunny, who appears to be especially eager to slip his bonds. Why?
Because Lob is in the next picture! Yes, Lob wasn't technically at the event, but he belongs in the Journal because he is Lob and we love to see him here, even when he isn't really 'here' here because he's off at some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do in Ohio.
"Lob is happy to be in Journal. Lob not fling poop or bite fingers of nice speaking surgeon man! Lob hated fancy dress thing because people dancing stepped on Lob and stuffed him in glasses upside down. Lob flinged much poop that day, I can tell you!"
Right. Just... enjoy your presence in the Journal, Lob. You don't have to say anything. Really.
 Photo: Mission There's Always One |
 Photo: Diane Mueller The Owl Being Scouted by the US CG |
 Photo: Poppa Ratsey Now THAT'S One Eager Pirate Bunny! |
 Photo: Jessica Bagley Lob, Celebrating |
I promised our Journal Sponsor one more spot, so you have to put up with one last advertisement story thing. Incidentally, this was designed to be like those mysterious Master House (or perhaps Folgers) (or maybe 8'O'Clock) Coffee advertisement from the 90s that were so popular for 5 minutes. It featured a couple in a series of on-going stories, interlinked stories about their romance in which they drank coffee. It probably won awards or something. It was such good advertising that I couldn't even figure out which company it was.
"Ommmmmmm... Breathe deep of the cigar fumes and say it with me. It's the sound of the universe from which all other sounds emanate. Ommmmmmm...
Photo: Mission
You Meditate Your Way; I'll Meditate Mine
Ah... yes.
Reminds me of that story that Captain Jim once told me about the merchant ship he captained... the Jolly Rotgut I b'lieve she was called... She was anchored off the Northwestern corner of Guam to obtain wood, water and food. Ommmmmmm...
His men went inland where they heard the local farmers - assuming Guam has farmers, that is - had cattle. Figuring they wouldn't miss the odd cow here or there, they picked through the beeves and slaughtered and salted two of them.
Ommmmmmm... Feel the universe calling to your inner depths... Or just take a hit off this flask.... Ommmmmmm...
So they were all looking for a third cow, because three is a lucky number, when mad Peter Chaaps spotted this strange looking bovine wearing bucket boots. Don't let the image disturb your meditation. Let the cigar transport you into the ether. Or either into the aether. Ommmmmmm...
Photo: Borrowed
You shall see ...a cow... in boots... and oh so many startlements!
They chased the cow round and round, round and round, round and round, all things going round and round on the universal wheel of life. When they caught it, they found two people inside. Ommmmmmm...
Sure and it was M.A. d'Dogge in the front and Stynky in the back, masquerading as a cow for reasons that are too involved to explain. So they killed and salted them, figuring they may as well have some long pork with their beef. Ommmmmmm... Feel the spiritual love of the universe flow through your body. Ommmmmmm...
"You can get for yourselfs the very own two-persons cow suit if you go online at Avis where *Ow!* Quite the bitings you stupid crazy creature!"
"Lob hates stupid Russkie-sounding guy who interrupts stories. Lob bites you again. Lob fling poop! Lob dance on bowl-cut hair!"
"Ow! Begone fowl manure sprite! Ow!"
"Lob wants to see no more sponsors ever in surgeon tales! Never do again!"
"Ommmmmmmmm...."