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Pirates in Paradise 2010 - Key West, Fl

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Epilogue - The usual clean-up page containing thanks to everyone who contributed to this undertaking, various pictures that didn't make it into the main part of the page and an SJ finale.

We must start by thanking everyone who makes these things possible. For PiP, that certainly includes Lily Alexander, Fort Zachary Taylor's David "Broadside" Foster and Momma Ratsey, Fayma Callahan. These folks do all manner and sort of work that most of us know little or nothing about. They are often not as visible at the event as others because they are running around behind the scenes taking care of issues that come up. Cheers to them, as well as to the Friends of Fort Taylor, who help keep the event going through hard work and donations from folks like us.

On a more personal note, thanks to Shay of the Keys and Brig who copy edited this page for me. If there are mistakes in the content (and there are), they are certainly mine, but I appreciate them for taking the time to pre-read all this stuff when it's still in a rough state. [Hey, don't forget us!] What? And violate my New Year's resolution? [We deserve a pardon too, governor!]

Thanks as ever to the wonderful photographers. I started out being able to only use the photos Shay or I snapped, but I think it made the beginning a trifle paler by comparison. [We think that is easily seen by noting the difference between the photos of everyone else vs. Poppa in the photo row below this text.] You weren't asked. Per usual, I got these photos on-line, so that means you can see their entire albums - just click on their photos. (Note: some of the photo albums are from their FaceBook accounts, so you may only be able to see those if you are friends with that person. I did what I could here. Note that I have delineated which photos Shay took in the text, but since she does not post them, I couldn't link to them.)

BEOWULF Photo: Poppa

MADPETE Photo: Poppa

POPPA RATSEY Photo: Mission

WENDY Photo: Poppa

MISSION Photo: Poppa

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Photo: Poppa Ratsey As I was searching through everyone's photos, I found some that I wasn't able to include in the first couple of chapters because I hadn't seen them yet. So I will include them here. I mentioned that jollyjacktar/Cran was doing his presentation in the mornings when I was hard at work on the Surgeon's Journal in the condo... [Hear that? It's us playing the world's smallest violin.] Poppa Ratsey did get a photo of him presenting which I present for your edification at left.

Then there was the 'service' auction, which I completely missed, but did mention. Beowulf was there, however, and he got several photos which you can see below. I should start by noting that this was all started last year by Israel. That probably doesn't make it any more PC, but I wanted to stick that in there. Elizabeth Sharpe also agreed to be a part of the auction this year, which still doesn't make it any more PC, but there you are. [No, there you are. Writing yourself into a hole.] Although I wasn't there I will now feel free to provide commentary. [ But of course you do.] We begin with what was auctioned: One hour of service by Israel Cross and Elizabeth Sharpe. (Seen below left.) Next we have auctioneer William Red Wake banging his head against one of the tent poles during the auction. This was most likely a response to the audience who had been getting frisky and talking back to the auctioneer quite a bit even before I left that night. Finally we have William of Searle's Buccaneers checking Israel's teeth. Note: he is not using a blue card to do this, that is Chrispy's head scarf. [It looks like a blue card.] I just said that it's not. [But it looks like it.] What possible reason would he have for doing that? [We don't know.] See that picture of William banging his head...?

Photo: Beowulf

Photo: Beowulf

Photo: Beowulf

Photo: Beowulf
Photo: Wendy Speaking of our beloved Quartermaster, I found a bunch of good photos of him. As you will see, William Red Wake would have been a gifted physical comedian if he were an actor. At left is a shot Beowulf took of him in the fort that I liked because it looked sort of artsy. At right, we have a shot that requires a story. If you go back to chapter 3, you'll find a photo near the bottom of the page of William lying on the ground that I carelessly forgot to explain. [Imagine that.] I notice you guys didn't catch it either. [When there's so many errors, it's hard to catch them all .] Anyhow, [Is something wrong? It sounds like you're grinding your teeth..] ANYHOW, William was trying to auction off a wooden plate. About this time the audience was starting to get a little giddy - there was a lot of rum and Wobble Juice going around. Someone asked if it could be used as a dish or some such thing. William allowed that it could. From there it just sort of snowballed. Cup holder? Platter? Chaser? (I don't know what a chaser is either and I've decided to let the editors earn their pay by looking it up and explaining it to you. ... Huh. Nothing. I figured as much.) Then they started increasing the bids in pennies, which William said they could not do. They did it anyway. I think the winning bid was 12.99. After all of that, William decided to lie down.

Photo: Mission A Surprise Attack

Photo: Mission Seconds before the loud SPLASH

Photo: Poppa Ratsey William and his flag...and antlers

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Photo: madPete

Photo: madPete
When we went out to breakfast on Thursday morning at Blue Heaven, madPete broke out his camera. One of the neat things about the place is that chickens and cats roam the dining area freely. mP was desperate to get a photo of this for some reason. I believe he said he wanted to show them to his kids. You can see the result at left. Think the kids will be impressed? He took some other shots of the place, which sort of looks like it was decorated by the last hurricane. Don't get me wrong, it looks neat, it just has a very random feel to it. While I don't generally cater to the prurient interests of the crowd (because the editors won't let me get away with it [Who, us? We're as prurient as the next guys.]), I can't help but wonder what the point of the mermaid in the rafters is. [You just wanted to post a bare-chested chick photo.] Did not. [Oh, you read Playboy for the articles, right?] They do have good writing and incisive interviews. [Uh huh.]

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And now for some random crap... [Wait...you mean there's actually a plan for the other parts?] Quiet.

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Yaaaarrrr!

Photo: Poppa Ratsey "Whose ideas was it to be land-pirates, anyway?"

Photo: Poppa Ratsey "You just tell 'em you're the tax collector and they give you stuff!

Photo: Beowulf ...pssst! Jack! You're holding 'em upside down! They won't work!

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Where's he get such keen socks?

Photo: Beowulf Ah, pirate love! Isn't it romantic?

Photo: Poppa Ratsey The small, but determined pirate surfer re-enactment community

Photo: Mission What we REALLY do all weekend

Photo: Mission Patrick's idea of a home security system

Photo: Mission This is why I have to take so many pictures

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A couple of people got the bright idea to shoot things inside the fort from the fort wall. (This does not include me.) So below are two nice perspective shots that give you an idea of the scale of the site. The first photo below left is actually the traditional crew shot. Unfortunately, the huge canvas pub sign with the skull and swoopy swords that we painted in 2007 to use as a backdrop for this photo was buried in the Friends of Fort Taylor storage area with Bucky and Becky. Fayma tried to get the key to this storage unit, but never could. So Poppa appears to have just decided to take the shot from the fort wall. Also unfortunately, this was taken Sunday night while Shay, madPete and I were all putting the Parody Dinner together, so we do not appear in this photo. [Wait...how does you not being in the photo rate as 'unfortunate?'] The second photo seen below right is a nice shot of a lot of the campsites.

Photo: Poppa Ratsey

Photo: Beowulf

Photo: Mission One thing about Florida - there is sand everywhere. Whether this is a good or bad thing depends mostly on your perspective (and, in some cases, your age.) If you're walking around a place in period shoes, sand often means you're going to enjoy the fine, gritty stuff inside of them, which kinda' sucks as you try and navigate the coral chunks partially buried in the sand that hasn't managed to make its way into your shoes yet. If you're a little girl (or her mom), it means that you can just plop down anywhere and play in the sand. This includes inside the fort wall, as you can see in the photo at left where Brig and her daughter Kiera are doing just that. Kiera seemed to take sand-play with a great deal of seriousness. You can see her intently studying the sand in her hands (that rhymes!) below left. Of course, a lady can't be seen in public with sand all over her new stays, so Kiera was careful to brush all the extraneous sand off her garb before getting up. Sandboxing was not just restricted to young girls and their mothers, however. As seen below right Cannibal Chrispy and friend also enjoyed a bit of time playing with the Key West sand.

Photo: Poppa Ratsey

Photo: Poppa Ratsey

Photo: Mission

Photo: Poppa Ratsey
Photo: Mission Speaking of Chrispy, he was occasionally wandering around doing his blind act during the event. I am not entirely clear what the benefit of doing this is to him, but I am sure there must be one. He was also working this angle during the parade, which I am sorry I missed seeing. We got a chance to chat, of which I was glad. There is always something interesting going on in Chrispy's world from my experience. I asked him where his wife, Rusty Nell, was for PiP this year. Turns out she was at home singing for her fans. "How's that?" "She's singing for all her fans on Second Life." Apparently she has a fan base who gather regularly in some virtual bar so that they can listen to her sing. (Chrispy tells me her name there is TerryLynn Melody.) She'd have missed her gig if she'd have come to PiP. That is certainly one of the more unique excuses I've heard for not attending an event. As it happens, Patrick is also involved in this. I guess he designs cyborg components for people. It's a whole new world out there.

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"Such a day, rum all out: Our company somewhat sober: A damned confusion amongst us! Rogues a-plotting..."

Photo: Mission Not-Bucky a-plotting

Photo: Beowulf "These? They're for defense."

Photo: Mission Nefarious Nigel

Photo: Mission "Now, who's the Mercury captain?"

Photo: Beowulf "Like a drink? Can't harm you, mon."

Photo: Beowulf This can't possibly bode well...

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Photo: Beowulf
Photo: Beowulf Beowulf posted some good pictures of the long-suffering Captain Sterling. Now you may think that the Captain is long-suffering because of crew of the Archangel. This is, of course, true, but it does not explain the photo at left. You might then think this has to do with trying to recall the many and varied details of the 17 volume account of the Captain and William Brand, which is buried on Little Rabbit Key and which was used as a template for the weekend's battle plan, but that isn't it either. No, the Captain is most likely having vivid recollections of the episode with the rum from the night before this photo was taken. This is when I am informed that the Cap- [Oh, would you just STOP?] What? [Not only is there no 17 volume account, there was no episode with rum the night before.] Look, who's telling this story? [You mean, who's making it up? ] How do you know the Captain didn't have an episode with rum? [Because it was explicitly stated that the captain had a migraine when that photo was taken.] You know, one of these times you guys are going to push me too far. Then you'll see. Yeah!

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Photo: Mission Ok, that's enough of the seamy underbelly that is the world of piracy. Well, it is for the time being. Now I want to present some more aesthetic pictures for you viewing pleasure. While sunsets are splendid in most places, there is something special about a sunset in Key West. Perhaps it's because you know your at the southern edge of the United States. Perhaps it's just because you're on vacation and you have time to stop and enjoy things like sunsets. Whatever the reason, I, like so many other tourists in Key West, stopped to admire and photograph the sunset. The picture at right and the one below right were both taken at Sunset Central: Mallory Docks. The one below left is from the fort wall. Enjoy!

Photo: Beowulf

Photo: Beowulf

Photo: Someone...
Morgan Drake - married with sword! Run!
Photo: Wendy Wellman
Anne Marie with umbrella! Run! While we're focusing on the appeal of the event, let me present several photos of ladies who were at PiP. Well...most of them were at PiP. The one at left is of Morgan Drake, who did not come this year on account of getting married. (I ask you...what kind of excuse is that?) [You mean, besides 'a good one?'] Since I told Morgan that I was going to post that in the Journal, here it is. In another lovely dress is Anne Marie seen at right.

This is actually just a kick-off to a bunch of other photos of charming women whose photos were snapped at the event. Hopefully these photos will help you to see that the event has a less seemly side to it, making it appealing to families and children of all ages. [Let's not get TOO exuberant here.] Oh, right. Sorry. Anyhow, to the photos we go!

Photo: Beowulf Verde

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Lady Barbara

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Sansanee

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Anna

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Brig

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Octavia Bordeaux

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Also Lady Barbara

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Photo: Poppa Ratsey
Captain Triceps aka Captain Charles Black
Photo: Wendy Wellman
Israel Cross and the hat Naturally, if you're going to do a bunch of photos of women gathered in such a way, the Geneva Convention insists that you do the same thing with men. Since I haven't the faintest clue about what makes men appealing (other than their willingness to share single-malt scotch with you freely), I am just going to grab a handful of the photos I have saved of guys and pop them in here for you to look over. We begin with Captain Triceps, who was actually a contestant in the badly named contest earlier described. So he must be a winning-looking guy. Incidentally, Shay said she found out that he actually owns a gym somewhere. We also begin with Israel Cross who was not a contestant in the contest, but he probably should be. Especially if he is going to wear that hat. He'll have to fight them off with his stick. [We haven't noticed that you ever seem to have that problem.] Yes, but I'm not Israel.

Photo: Beowulf Pick-pocket Pete

Photo: Poppa Ratsey Chris Cullers of Searle's Buccaneers

Photo: Beowulf "Hollywood" Jack Roberts

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Photo: Mission's Camera
This brings me to another batch of good photos I have left over on the memory stick. As you can see in the photo at left, I am posed sort of like Sean Connery posing as James Bond for a movie poster. [Actually, the way your arms are crossed, you look like a corpse in a casket.] So, in your scenario, I'm a corpse holding a gun at a jaunty angle? [Well, the gun is an odd touch. Maybe you're a mobster's corpse.] Well, I was a little drunk when I posed for that photo and the pose may be a bit off. [You think?] *Ahem* Below left is a shot of me from Wednesday afternoon, before we were dressing as pirates. I call it "Mission Incognito." [We call it 'Mission's Impossible. ] AND NEXT we have a photo of me that Poppa Ratsey took which is how I think I would look if I were in a spaghetti western. [So it's you in an over-stylized, obnoxious close-up?]

Moving smartly along, we have a heroic-looking picture of me that... [Wait a minute. You devoted the whole row of photos after that last thing to yourself?] Well...yeah. [Who do you think wants to look at THAT?] It doesn't matter. I write this thing, so I can do whatever I want. [Yeah? We edit this thing and we say you can't!] Why not? [ Nobody wants to look at a bunch of photos of you pretending to be wonderful.] Pretending?! What is that supposed to mean? [Just what it sounds like. *snort*] Snort at me, will you? It's not bad enough that I spend all this time doing these things, now my editors are snorting at me! This is the final -the very last- straw!

Photo: Mission's Camera

Photo: Poppa Ratsey

Photo: Poppa Ratsey

["Donald! What's up? Say, where did the writer go?"
"He left."
"Just like that? The Journal isn't done yet! Why would he leave?"
"Well...I may have snorted at him."
"SNORTED at him?"
"You know...*snort*"
"Oh, no...tell me you didn't piss off another of our writers?!"
"Who cares, Bennett? He was too temperamental anyhow."
"Yeah, but he was at least he was WRITING! And he worked for FREE!"
"We can always find other writers. Some people were always complaining these were too long anyhow. A new writer might be just what we need. You know, jazz it up a little. Add Flash graphics and embedded movies. Besides, writers are a dime a dozen."
"I don't think we're going to have a line of them outside the door based on our recent track-record! Do YOU want to have to write again?"
"Hmm. You have a point. He's probably just sulking. If I spin this right, I can get him back."
"You'd better - unless YOU want to be the author." ]

Photo: Screen Capture

Photo: some tourist
The much discussed Little Rabbit Key. Now I want to go there some day. And so Donald went in search of the author. [Who are you?] I am Joe, the deep-voiced announcer. [Are we paying you?] While Donald was out searching Little Rabbit Key, where he found nothing but 17 volumes of some book, Bennett received a letter alleged to be from Mission. [Dammit, Bennett, I leave for a few weeks and look what happens! How much are we paying this announcer?] The letter Bennett received read, "Dear Guys, I sat down and figured out that I spent more weeks last year writing these things that not writing them. Meanwhile, several other projects like my Delorean Kitchen Cabinets, my book on period surgery and my skeleton flowers languished. I am slipping these shackles. I quit. Love, R. Mission." Clearly, this was a forgery. Bennett had it looked at by several experts, who agreed it was a forgery. Historian J. R. Moore said it was written by Daniel Defoe under a pen name. Historical researchers W. R. Owens and P. N. Furbanks claimed that Mr. Moore was "an idiot" and was simply trying to further increase the Defoe Canon for his own personal gain. Mr. Owens wrote that he thought it was by another R. Mission, not the one who writes these Journals. Mr. Furbanks mysteriously wrote that "The walrus was Paul." [Historical researchers?! Are we paying THEM?]

Photo: Erm
In his search for information, Bennett learned that there was a newly established veterinarian in New Jersey who was famous for delivering life-giving enemas to asses, donkeys and other livestock. He had even written a pamphlet on his technique containing several allegedly humorous asides and overtones. Several veterinarians noted that these made the pamphlet 'too long.' Since it sounded like a pretty good lead, Bennett told Donald to quit his six week fact-finding mission on the South Pacific island of Bora Gora. So Donald booked a ticket on the Clipper through to New Jersey. There Donald thought he might be able to find their author and get him to come back and continue writing for them. [Don't worry, I can get him back. You just need to apply the proper leverage required once I find him.]

Photo: Lots of people and lots of work
"Hey Mission...c'mere...I got a sweet ride for ya'..."

Since the editors are telling me that this account is not yet finished, we cannot say if he was successful. Although, quite frankly, I am not sure why they think it is not finished. It looks finished to me. ["We're not paying you to think, we're paying you to have a deep voice."
"Yeah, what Bennett said! Now, just how much ARE we paying him?"]

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PSJ Edit, July 2011: Ok, that last bit was pretty weird. Anyway... When I updated this page to the new format, I had to axe the old title graphic. So, as a callback for you Surgeon's Journal purists (and because I put a lot of freaking work into those old titles), I am including the old title graphic here for your enjoyment. Or, if not, for my own self indulgence.

Photo: Mission

 

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