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Fort Taylor Pyrate Invasion/ Pirates in Paradise Celebration
Nov/Dec 2011 - Key West, FL
Photo: Mission
Braze and Caribbean Pearl at
the End of Hurricane Season Party
Chapter 1st: Of an aborted breakfast operation; Lunch with fellow Mercury crew member Beowulf;
Watching the end of hurricane season flag burning for the first time in the surgeon's five years attending the
Pirates in Paradise festivities and an account of the Somethingist Pirate and Somethingist-else Pirate
Wench Contest at the event.
Today I had planned to have breakfast with Keith and Lily, but that fell through. Event rule number 1: Don't depend on plans made with event coordinators.
I decided to go by myself to the Blue Heaven. I then wandered over to the FTPI's largest sponsor: Pirate Scooter Rentals. I always like to have a bike to travel between the condos and the fort. (By the way, you can see all the event sponsors on the website.) I decided to patronize them because they were the event's biggest sponsor and had helped us to get a shuttle bus for the event. Well, that and they have 'pirate' in their name. Plus they were only two blocks away from the condos and your surgeon is kind of lazy. But I digress.
Upon procuring transport, I pedaled up to new town to buy some plastic anchors, a camera memory card and some breakfast fixings. Returning to my pad, I fixed the curtain rod. Still having the problem of the ambient light, I decided to go buy a shade for the room.
Jonathan/Beowulf called me around noon with the news the he had just gotten up and wondered if I wanted to go with him to get something to eat. I suggested BO's Fish Wagon, but since he didn't know the island, so I suggested he meet me at the Truman Annex gate and we go from there.
Photo: Mission
Brig inviting me to get her lost using
Mission's
Key West Dead Reckoning System™ in 2009
I actually did try and explain how to get there using Mission's Key West Dead Reckoning System™. This
sophisticated system depends on the fact that I do know where a lot of stuff is
on the island because I have been here twenty-something times. I even know the street names, although I
don't manage to associate them with the Mission's Key West Dead Reckoning System™ very well. I just know the names.
(Go ahead, try me.) Plus I don't really have a way to explain my methods for finding stuff to others who
are not familiar with the island. (Come to think of it, people who are familiar with the island would
probably get totally lost if the relied on the Mission's Key West Dead Reckoning System™.) Regular readers
of these accounts will no doubt remember how well it worked in
getting Brig out to the Key West Airport to pick up her husband Jack.
The upshot is that this system cannot be relied upon without Mission actually being there. (Even then it is highly unreliable and wonky.) So when Beowulf arrived astride his trusty red scooter (which we'll call 'Red' because... it was red), I pedaled my bike over to him and managed to completely confuse him with my rather vague directions. Ah, the wonders of the Mission's Key West Dead Reckoning System™
"Do you know where the Turtle Kraals are?" "No..."How about the Half Shell Raw Bar?
" "No." "Well, it's near there."
Photo: Mission
Eventually we decided to go to Blue Heaven (second time today for me) since
it was very close and he could just follow me on the bike. (Trying to follow a bike on a scooter is a
bit like trying to follow a horse in a sports car. Or something like that. Sorry, no better simile is
coming to mind. Must be all the sun I got when I wrote this.)
We had a really interesting chat over lunch, talking about the events and how they seemed like they might go compared to last year. His perspective on the events is interesting because his first time here was last year when PiP was moved out of the fort. He also talked most lovingly about his hat, which you may recall from last year's Journal is modeled on that of the pirate Lynch from the Robinson Crusoe TV series of a few years back. (For those of you who are now lost, see last year's Journal.) He has it with him this year. He explained that that hat maker did a wonderful job recreating that hat despite that fact the Jonathan kept bugging him about it. "Did you notice the crease on the left side there?" Jonathan asked. "It's not going to be exactly like the movie, but I'll do the best I can," the hat maker replied.
Photo: Mission
After lunch, I went off to Strunk ACE Hardware and purchased a light blocking shade, which I installed in the condo bedroom window.
(Hey, they left a ladder on the porch, so they must have meant for me to use it!) I did a pretty
good job of it, if I do say so myself. Further examination of the window moldings suggested to me that
several different varieties of window dressings had been applied to this particular window over time. So it's not
just me. (At least that's what I keep telling myself.)
You may at this point be wondering why the hell I am fixing up my
rental condo. First, I like a dark room when I sleep. I read somewhere that you should block all
sources of light in your room for better rest. (I may have read that in an article called "Tips
for the Super-Anal", but I did read it.) Second, this is absolutely the nicest condo I have yet stayed
at in the Shipyard Condos and I do intend to return to it if at all possible. Therefore, I am not going
to tell you the name of it, lest you get it before me. Sorry, them's the breaks.
I had planned to go over and help at the fort, but it sounded a bit too much like work. That and I really wanted to run those errands.
Photo: Mission
Beowulf mentioned that he was going to the flag burning ceremony at Pirates in Paradise, so I decided
to head over to the Navy Pier and see it as well. I wore my Patrick
Hand Original Planter's hat so that people might recognize me
Of course, no one really did. Here I thought the hat was iconic. (Maybe the hat is iconic, but Mission isn't.) I decided to stroll down the Navy Pier and see what was to be seen. As it happens, there really wasn't all that much to seen - several concrete boat tie-ups and a smattering of benches facing the water, all occupied. If this were a text adventure game, I would approach them and ask them for an object needed to continue my quest and they would have unhelpfully replied, "He/she/they/it ignores you."
Fortunately, there a great dane on the pier. Nothing helps the Surgeon's Journal when it's floundering this way quite like a dog. (Although you'll notice even the dog didn't seem interested that I was there either.)
Photo: Mission
Beowulf/Jonathan in his garb
Photo: Mission
Liberte Sparrow, Caribbean Pearl & Dutch
I should have tried to strike up a conversation with the Great Dane. ("Ruh roh. Here's comes that
guy...") I actually began to feel conspicuous being without my garb. Fortunately, Jonathan
showed up and spotted me. I grabbed at him like a drowning conversationalist going down for the third time.
Then Caribbean Pearl noticed me, although she
couldn't remember my name. (She couldn't remember my pirate name. She probably doesn't even know my real name.) So I talked with them about things that are so interesting that I can't remember what they were. It's that whole drowning conversationalist thing all over again.
Photo: Mission
Mission without garb and Dutch
Photo: Mission
Dutch's new sword
I ran into Dutch of the Meka II. The Meka II ship doubles as Dutch's home.
It is a 30-40 foot wooden ship which he is in the process of re-outfitting. He had it down in Florida for
a while, but moved it up to Beaufort, South Carolina. He said there was a really good ship's carpenter
there who was helping him to outfit his vessel. He made quite the passionate appeal for my attendendance at Beaufort, which
intrigued your surgeon a bit. I want to do a new event next year and I haven't decided upon which
one yet. Still, Beaufort is a long journey and bringing the surgical stuff is pretty much out of
the question.
Dutch also took a moment to show off his new sword. (One of the great things about being a re-enactor is bragging on the stuff you've acquired. Being a surgeon, I get to do it as part of my shtick.)
Anyhow, with much ado, the lighting of the hurricane flags was announced to bid a fond farewell to the 2011 hurricane season. A season without any Key West hurricanes, I might add. The flag burning ceremony itself was a flaming success (hah!), although it took a couple of tries to get the hurricane flags to take fire. Liberté Sparrow was in charge of lighting them and, even though they were rum-soaked, they didn't want to burn. (Can you really blame them?)
 Photo: Mission Happy, rum-drenched flags |
 Photo: Mission Liberté Sparrow and the unlit hurricane flags |
 Photo: Mission The flags finally catch fire |
Walking around the place, I found several vendors at Pirates in Paradise, two of which you see below.
 Photo: Mission Spirit Dance Art Vendor at PiP |
 Photo: Mission Got Kilt? Vendor at PiP |
Unfortunately, the pirate portion of the event had been buried in the middle of a carnival this year for some reason. This is why you see can see rides and such in the background of many of these pictures. I doubt the carnival will be back next year based on the attendance I saw on these rides during the evening on Wednesday and Thursday nights. (Besides, what kind of self-respecting pirate-based carnival was this? They didn't even have a Pirate ride!)
 Photo: Mission Deadeye's Arcade Games - formerly appearing in Deadeye's Back Yard |
 Photo: Mission Deadeye teaching in the Fight Circle at PiP |
Photo: Mission
Photo: Mission
Still feeling conspicuous in my street clothes, I decided to head back and change into period duds
with a bit of prodding from Jonathan.
Returning resplendent in my Michael and Jessica Bagley original clothing, I was fondly embraced by several people. Now they recognized me! I had not showered since this morning, so they were not all that fond in embracing me, but it was good enough for government work. (It is really weird seeing people out of their re-enactment garb if that's what you're used to. No doubt my co-workers would think they same if they saw me in a radar dish and short pants.)
I then proceeded to imbibe, which made things measurably more fond (in my eyes, anyhow) and I wound up kissing Caribbean Pearl at some photographer's request. Fortunately, Beowulf took a photo of this for you, or might never have seen it. (All I can think of, looking at the photo above right is... poor Caribbean Pearl. I think I may have had garlic for lunch, too.)
Photo: Mission
I talked at great length with several people, most of whom whose names I forget. One of them was First
Mate Matt (in the photo at left talking with a girl I don't know). I explained to him that
I had thought of him when I was searching for new surgical tools and he
was very enthusiastic about this idea. He said he had recently gotten into forging, a useful thing for
surgical tools and I will have to think hard about exactly which tool I might have him make. (For there are
many. Far too many...)
By the way, that is not a transformer in upper right hand corner of that photo, although it certainly would have been quite an interesting evening if it were. No, that is the Ferris wheel which appears in many of the photos you will see here. I kind of liked it, even though it is not remotely piratey.
Photo: Mission
I also ran into Commodore Swab and Sansanee, who I am always glad to see. I told Swab (aka Chad) about
the glowing reviews I received of his work by a fellow blacksmith when I was at Brigand's Grove
this year and he
seemed to be measurably
bucked by this bit of news.
He showed me his latest creation, which is a huge brass cannon that had a Spanish name which all the alcohol has made me forget. It seemed like it was a word they also use for food. Tamale? Salsa? Chalupa? No, none of those seem right, although I can totally hear the British Royal Navy yelling to Chad the pirate, "Drop the Chalupa! You're surrounded!" (C'mon, I practically telegraphed that one.) Whatever it was called, it was huge. You can see him proudly showing it off to the young lady at right.
I am quite sure that gun makes a ginormous noise when fired, although Swab said that the spring was broken on it but Lawrence (the Viceroy) was bringing a replacement spring when he arrived later this week. I hope he gets the replacement spring, because I want to hear it. It is, as most of Swab's creations seem to be, a beautiful piece.
Photo: Mission
Photo: Mission
I chatted quite a bit with Sansanee, Swab's lovely wife. She has really captured the whole Asian pirate
thing with her
latest gear. She explained the whole ensemble to me, none of which I recall well enough to explain (And no one is surprised.) The hat may or
may not have come from China and was given to her by... somebody at some event she attended. (I'm really
helping you to form an accurate picture of this, aren't I?)
She also mentioned that she was interested in trying her hand at sewing, which is an invaluable skill for a re-enactor. (One your author does not possess. Thank God for Michael Bagley and Jessica or I'd be wearing short pants with one leg longer than the other.) I said she needed a European lady's outfit. I thought the juxtaposition of the two things would be really cool. She tentatively agreed with me. Or maybe she was just humoring me and trying to edge away as subtly as possible.
Soon it was time for the Best Dressed Pirate and Most Somethingist Wench Contest. This was really something that does not lend itself well to words, although I took several photos of it, most of which are hard to see (below.) It started with the Best Dressed Pirate Category, with your contest hostess Liberté Sparrow appearing in all the photos. (I mention this now so I don't have to keep writing Liberté Sparrow. That é is a right pain in the arse...) Below left is Cascabel, in an awful lot of finery. (It is for best dressed, after all.) Next is a guy dressed all in white whose name I do not know. (Even the hat was white straw, although it looks rather yellowish in this photo.) I actually was rooting for him because he had a white eye patch. I mean, where do you even get an white eye patch? The last photo is of Captain Wasabe who won. He was also last year's winner of the Bad Ass Pirate contest. It may look like his is celebrating his win with a slug from the bottle, but, in fact, this was during the contest. Maybe capacity has something to do with winning?
 Photo: Mission |
 Photo: Mission |
Photo: Mission
|
Next was the Most Somethingist Wench Contest, as seen in the photos below. The first photo is of Jaye in a lovely ornate dress. The second is Sansanee, who spoke something in Thai (possibly, "I came all the way to America from Thailand for this?") Third is the contest's winner: Caribbean Pearl. The last photo is of Apple Booty, whom I was secretly rooting for although she wasn't, in fact, even in the contest.
 Photo: Mission |
 Photo: Mission |
 Photo: Mission |
 Photo: Mission |
Photo: Mission
My cat, Pinky. "Don't even THINK about it..."
I do want to mention the cat. There was a cat. A white cat with black markings, dressed in black
and white pirates stuff, riding around like the governor himself in a baby stroller. Clearly this was a most patient cat. My cat Pinky (who will be the first to admit she is
evil, although you have to interpret her responses like I do to understand this) would never allow such things. Ever.
Nor would she sit quietly if placed upon the stage speaker in the middle of the contest like this cat did.
(Anyone who does that with Pinky should wear armor because it it is going to be a slash-fest.)
So color me hugely impressed by this cat seen in the three photos below.
 Photo: Mission The pirate cat in his rolling throne. |
 Photo: Mission The pirate cat's pirate garb. |
 Photo: Mission Pirate cat possessed while sitting on stage. |
Photo: Mission
There was to be a second round of contests, the Bad Ass Pirate and Buxom Wench portion of the festivities, but I was
hungry and wanted to go off in search of comestibles. (Beowulf asked if I was going to the sub-stand located in PiP.
Being in Key West and loving fresh seafood, I decided I definitely wasn't having a hastily-prepared sub for dinner.)
"And so, having disposed of the monster, exit our hero through the front door, stage right, none the worse for his harrowing experience." I bid my friends farewell and... stopped for some grog.
See, there was this guy making grog from Pusser's Rum using what he said was a period recipe. He was basically just giving it out to anyone with a container. Who am I to refuse that? It was quite yummy, which you wouldn't think grog would be, given that it was supposed to be watered down rum and beer. I asked him for the recipe, which he dutifully recited. All I can remember about it was that it contained water, brown sugar, rum and... something else. Three items is apparently my limit for remembering things. Whatever it was, I liked it.
Photo: Mission
Photo: Mission
"And so, having re-disposed of the monster, exit our hero through the front door, stage right." Except there was a girl with a neat skull and bones shot glass. I asked if I could see it and she offered to fill it for me. Well! Such friendly folks here!. I can resist anything except temptation, so I said, "Go ahead!"
In all this world, why I do think
There are five reasons why we drink:
Good friends,
good wine,
lest we be dry
and any other reason why.
"And so, having re- re-disposed of the monster, exit our hero, stage right." (And off he went to Kelly's Caribbean Grill for dinner.)